3. -Rushing or skipping any stage cripples the
development of relationship, and
problems result.
-Strong lasting relationships must be paced
over a long period of time during which
“getting to know you” is the major
theme.
There are seven stages in dating, and
each stage has a purpose.

4. Stage 1, is friendship,
-At this stage, a couple gets to know each
other while participating in nonromantic
activities.
In Stage 2, group dating, the two friends
go with the group to find more time to
know each other.
Stage 3, special dating, is an in-between
stage during which there is a growing
emotional attachment between the two
but they not yet made a commitment.

5. During Stage 4, steady dating, the couple
has an understanding that they will not
date others.
In Stage 5, pre-engagement, the couples
begins discussing the possibility of
marriage “someday”.
-But there understanding is private and
personal rather than final or binding.
Stage 6, marks the formal engagement, in
which a wedding plan is in progress.

6. And Stage 7, marriage is final and binding.
-It should be the continuation of the
romantic phase of courtship.
Unfortunately, many couples go through
these stages out of sequence.
So eager are they to find love that they skip
the preliminaries and jump into romance.
-Adult singles, especially the previous
married, tend to act in haste and marry
too quickly.

7. Counsel From Parents and Close
Friends. It is safe to make haste slowly
in these matters. Give yourself
sufficient time for observation on
every point, and then do not trust to
your own judgment, but let the
mother who loves you, and your
father, and confidential friends, make
critical observation of the one you feel
inclined to favor.

8. Trust not to your own judgment,
and marry no one whom you
feel will not be
an honor to your father and
mother, [but] one who has
intelligence and moral worth.

9. The girl who gives over her affections
to a man, and invites his attention by
her advances, hanging around where
she will be noticed of him unless he
shall appear rude, is not the girl you
want to associate with. Her
conversation is cheap and frequently
without depth. {TSB 22.3}

10. IMPORTANCE OF PREMARITAL
GUIDANCE
As Seventh-day Adventist, we need to
take engagements more seriously
than we do.
-It is easy to succumb to the on-again-
off-again syndrome pervading
today’s society.
-This does not mean that engaged
couples should never break their
engagement.

11. As Ellen White says, “Even if an
engagement has been entered into
without a full understanding of the
character of the one with whom you
intend to unite, do not think that the
engagement makes it a positive
necessity for you to take upon yourself
the marriage vow and link yourself for
life to one whom you cannot love and
respect.

12. -Marriage enrichment seminars have
been needed in the Adventist Church
for a long time, and we would like to
commend those who have launched
in providing these services. ( see
“Programs Developed to Strengthen
Family Life,” Adventist Review, Jan. 5,
1978, pp.14-15).

13. Marriage is one the three
greatest events men and
women make a decision about
in this life, the other two being
baptism and a career, and
these decisions are usually
made when a person is young.

14. -“If men and women are in the habit of
praying twice a day before they
contemplate marriage, they should
pray four times a day when such a
step is anticipated.
-Marriage is something that will
influence and affect your life, both in
this world and in the world to come.
AH 460.

15. A three-step plan for a happy marriage
1. Guidance before the engagement.
2. Classes after the engagement but before
marriage, and
3. Enrichment programs following marriage
would certainly improve the chances for
the couple’s being matched as well as
mated, and enjoyed a happy marriage.

16. As Ellen White says, “In business, men and
women manifest great caution.”
-Before engaging in any important enterprise,
they prepare themselves for their work.
-Time, money, and much careful study are
devoted to the subject, lest they shall make a
failure in their undertaking.
-How much greater caution should be
exercised in entering the marriage relation a
relation which affects future generations and
the future life?

17. Better to Break Unwise Engagement.--
Even if an engagement has been entered
into without a full understanding of the
character of the one with whom you
intend to unite, do not think that the
engagement makes it a positive necessity
for you to take upon yourself the marriage
vow and link yourself for life to one whom
you cannot love and respect.

18. Be very careful how you enter
into conditional
engagements; but better, far
better, break the engagement
before marriage than
separate afterward, as many
do. {AH 48.2}