Daniele Fiandaca collects the best bits from Robert Webb's How Not to be a Boy and Grayson Perry's Descent of Man. Two books which both deal with how the patriarchy and toxic masculinity is having an adverse effect on men and society as a whole.

1. #bookbestbits
How Not be a Boy
+
The Descent of Man
The Best Bits

2. “I grouped these together as they both explore how
patriarchy and toxic masculinity is impacting both
men and society in general. I would certainly
recommend The Descent of a Man to any man who
wants to be a modern (and inclusive) leader while ‘How
Not to be a Boy’ is a fun and easy read for everyone.”
Overview from our reviewer:
Daniele Fiandaca, Co-founder, Utopia

3. Some context

4. Only 14.2% of the top five leadership
positions in S&P 500 companies are
represented by females
Source: CNN Money

5. The current overall mean gender gap in
the UK for full time female workers is
14.1%.
Source: Fawcett Society

6. Only 7% of the top 250 Hollywood movies
in 2015 were directed by a woman.
Source: The Center for the Study of Women in
Television and Film at San Diego State University

7. 87% of men wish they could spend more
time with their children
Source: CALM & The Huffington Post

8. In 2014, a man took his own life in the UK
every 2 hours
Source: CALM

9. 41% of men who contemplated suicide,
felt they couldn’t talk about their feelings
Source: CALM

10. The Story in Quotes

11. “The truth will set you free.
But first it will piss you off.”
Gloria Steinem, American journalist

12. “… when we tell a boy to act ‘like a man’, we’re
effectively saying. ‘stop expressing those
feelings.’ And if the boy hears that often
enough, it actually starts to sound uncannily
like, ‘Stop feeling those feelings.”
#hownottobeaboy

13. “[Default Man]…dominates the upper
echelons of our society, imposing,
unconsiously or consciously their
values on the rest of the
population….they make up huge
majority in government (77%), in
boardrooms (92% of executive
directors) and in the media (lots).”
Grayson Perry

14. “[Default Man].. prioritises ‘rational goal’s
like profit, efficiency, self determination
and ambition over emotional rewards like
social cohesion, quality of life, culture
and happiness.”
#descentofaman

15. “What millennia of male power has done is
make a society where we all grow up
accepting that a system grossly biased in
favour of Default Man is natural, normal and
common sense, when it is anything but.”
#descentofaman

16. “The patriarchy was created for the
convenience of men, but it comes at a heavy
cost to ourselves and to everyone else.”
#hownottobeaboy

17. ‘- apart from giving up the coronary-inducing stress of
always being ‘right’ and in charge; apart from living in
a world where people are more equal and therefore
less likely to give you shit……the real benefit might that
a visible, emotionally aware No-Longer-Default Man
has better relationships - and that’s happiness, right?’
#descentofaman

19. ‘Men will only come on board when they feel
there is something to gain from change.’
#descentofaman

20. ‘Look, I know it’s been tough, and you have done
a great job of dominating, defending and
providing with your big strong male body, but
things are changing. We still love you , but we
don’t see so much of that any more and you can
enjoy other things now.’
#descentofaman

21. “It’s everywhere: a system of thought and a set
of invented and discriminatory practices in our
laws, culture and economy that feminists call
the patriarchy. Feminists are not out to get us.
They’re out to get the patriachy.”
#hownottobeaboy

22. ‘For many men, progressive feminist arguments
can feel like a defeat, a slippery slope to
redundancy and humiliation. You are no longer
fit for purpose, we don’t need lumbering,
warmongering animal chases any more.’
#descentofaman

23. ‘Feminism is not about men versus women: it’s
about men and women versus the Trick - the
idea that boy and girls, men and women, have
different roles to play in life according to the
different contributions they make to a shared
reproductive system.’
#hownottobeaboy

24. “Gender is so deep in our identity that it will
take many generations for changes to happen.
That is no excuse for not working on it now.”
#descentofaman

25. “Men will struggle to treat women as equals if we
haven’t learned to look after ourselves: to recognise our
feelings and take responsibility for our actions. We
should remember what we knew all along : that we are
allowed to be fully human, fully compassionate, fully
alive in the moment and fully committed to friendship
and love.”
#hownottobeaboy

26. “I think adaptability is the key to our
masculine future.. emotions and feelings can
be changed. I think that men need to look
inside themselves, become more aware of
their feelings and start adapting.”
Grayson Perry

27. “It remains a sexist world and I can’t change it
for my daughters the way I would like to. But I
can try and improve the situation one man at a
time. Starting with me.”
Robert Webb

28. Find More Book Best
Bits at:
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weareutopians
www.weareutopia.co
@weareutopians
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29. REWIRING BUSINESS FOR THE AGE OF CREATIVITY