Domestic Violence 101: A Guide For Spousal Abuse Victims In New Jersey

Bedminster • Freehold • Hackensack • Mount Laurel • Parsippany
DOMESTIC VIOLENCE 101
A G U I D E F O R D O M E S T I C V I O L E N C E V I C T I M S A N D T H E I R FA M I L I E S I N N E W J E R S E Y

What are the signs? &
How can you get help?
PRESENTED BY

DISCLAIMER
This presentation contains general information and does not constitute legal advice.
Be sure to direct specific questions about your own situation to an attorney.
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• A Guide to New Jersey Domestic Violence
• Defining Domestic Violence and Abuse.
• Signs of Domestic Violence or Abuse.
• Seeking Help and Impediments to Seeking Help.
• New Jersey Crimes of Domestic Violence.
• The New Jersey Legal Process.
• Resources.
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Sections

What is Domestic Violence
and Who are its Victims?

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE 101: DEFINING DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
WHAT IS DOMESTIC
VIOLENCE?
Domestic violence or abuse includes physical violence,
verbal or physical aggression, and other controlling behavior
directed toward a current or former intimate partner or
adult household member.
Many signs of domestic abuse overlap and early signs can
be easy to dismiss, particularly if a victim feels emotionally
close to or dependent on the abuser.
In this presentation, we will show you how to
recognize specific early or present indicators of
abuse.
6

WHO ARE THE VICTIMS OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE OR ABUSE?
• Although women are more frequently victimized, domestic violence
and abuse are genderless problems, affecting both women and men
in opposite sex or same sex relationships.
• Elderly victims may experience domestic abuse from adult children or
other household members.
• Domestic abuse is generally the term used when abuse is occurring
between adults (as opposed to “child abuse”). Children can be direct
victims of abuse or can suffer psychological harm from observing
abuse in the home.

Faces of Domestic Violence
Physical assault is the easiest type of domestic violence to
recognize, but many types of more subtle behavior also amount
to domestic violence or abuse.
We will look closely at three couples to demonstrate a few
common examples of the many possible scenarios:

Ethan and Candice:
A PATTERN OF VERBAL AND EMOTIONAL ABUSE
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• Ethan is not physically violent, but he frequent belittles his wife Candice.
• Ethan swears at Candice, calls her offensive names and discourages her
from maintaining close friendships or pursuing activities outside the
home.
• He sometimes takes away her car keys or physically prevents her from
leaving home.
T H I S I S D O M E S T I C V I O L E N C E .

Robert and Becky:
DATING OR FORMER DATING PARTNERS
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• Robert and Becky dated for a couple of years and broke up recently.
• Becky calls Robert at all hours of the day and night, and often leaves him angry
messages.
• Becky has also come to Robert’s home uninvited several times, on two occasions
entering the home through an unlocked door and waiting for him.
• Recently Robert’s car was vandalized, and he is certain that Becky is the culprit.

Cassandra and Blake:
MUTUAL ABUSE WITH ALCOHOL INVOLVEMENT
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• Cassandra and Blake’s loving relationship recently began to change after Blake
lost his job and started drinking excessively.
• The financial strain and Blake’s drinking make Cassandra so angry that she is
having trouble controlling herself.
• Cassandra has been following Blake around the house yelling at him, and on one
occasion she slapped him across the face.
• Blake has responded by physically pushing Cassandra away, once so hard that she
fell against a door frame, badly bruising her shoulder.

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE 101: SIGNS OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
• If you are afraid of your partner, former partner, or
other household member for any reason, or if your
confidence and self-esteem has suffered in the
relationship, this is a warning sign.
• Early or more subtle signs of domestic abuse can
require help from a mental health professional for the
person exhibiting this behavior. Without such help,
behavior frequently worsens over time.
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Signs of Domestic Violence or Abuse
IF YOU SEE ANY OF THE FOLLOWING BEHAVIORS, DO
NOT MINIMIZE THE PROBLEM, GET HELP NOW!

ANGER ISSUES are at the root of many forms of domestic abuse and may
appear prior to actual physical violence as an early sign of abuse.
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RED F L AGS:
• A volatile and unpredictable temper.
• A tendency to scream or throw things when upset.
• Threats of physical violence.

CONTROLLING OR JEALOUS BEHAVIOR is one of the hallmarks of domestic
abuse and may precede actual violence.
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RED F L AGS:
• Excessive jealously or possessiveness.
• Limiting a victim’s activities outside the home or contacts with friends
and family.
• Monitoring or restricting phone or computer use.

ECONOMIC OR FINANCIAL ABUSE is controlling behavior aimed at limiting a
victim’s ability to make independent choices or leave an abusive situation.
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RED F L AGS:
• Restricting access to finances.
• Confiscating paychecks.
• Abusing credit.
• Stealing a victim’s financial identity.

EMOTIONAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ABUSE may range from subtle to
outrageous and may escalate or develop into physical violence.
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RED F L AGS:
• Criticizing, name calling, swearing.
• Threatening to destroy property.
• Threatening to injure or kill a victim.
• Threatening to harm someone close to a victim, including themselves.

DESTRUCTION OF PROPERTY is criminal behavior when done recklessly or
intentionally, and is another sign of anger or control.
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RED F L AGS:
• Escalating anger issues.
• Threatening to destroy property.
• Using property in a way likely to cause harm.
• Using dangerous substances such as fire or explosives without proper
safety precautions.

CHILD ABUSE is addressed by separate laws and procedures, but commonly
occurs along with domestic abuse, and may amount to emotional abuse of a
parent.
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RED F L AGS:
• Escalating anger.
• Unreasonably harsh discipline.
• Threatening to injure or kill a child.

ANIMAL ABUSE carries its own criminal penalties and may also be
emotionally abusive to a pet owner.
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RED F L AGS:
• Anger issues.
• Psychological abuse.
• Threatening to injure or kill a pet.

DOMESTIC SEXUAL ABUSE includes any kind of non-consensual sexual
contact with a current or former intimate partner or adult household
member.
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RED F L AGS:
• Possessive or unreasonably jealous behavior.
• Any kind of coerced physical contact.
• Threatening to physically force sexual contact.

PHYSICAL VIOLENCE directed against a victim is an extreme form of
domestic abuse with the potential to cause personal injury or death.
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RED F L AGS:
• Other forms of domestic abuse.
• Threatening to injure or kill a victim.
• Threatening to harm to someone close to a victim, including
themselves.

How to Seek Help &
Overcome Common
Impediments

Seeking Help
EMERGENCY SITUATIONS
IF YOU ARE IN IMMEDIATE DANGER, CALL 911
If you are able to leave the premises, do so immediately. You can always go to
nearest police station.
Call a Domestic Violence Hotline to make a PLAN:
New Jersey Domestic Violence Hotline: 1 (800) 572-7233 (SAFE).
National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1 (800) 799-7233 (SAFE).

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE 101: SEEKING HELP
SEEKING HELP
Victims experience emotions ranging from sadness, guilt,
and embarrassment, to overpowering fear.
Sometimes victims believe that children are better off with
parents who are together even if the parents’ relationship is
not healthy.
Many victims fear that the abuser will retaliate if they seek
help, increasing the danger of the situation.
Let’s look at some challenges faced by our three
example couples and some possible first steps for
them:
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COMMON I MPEDI MENTS

Impediments to Seeking Help:
ETHAN AND CANDICE
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• Candice’s self-esteem has been negatively affected by Ethan’s behavior,
interfering with her ability to recognize the seriousness of her situation.
• She is also financially dependent on Ethan and has two financially
dependent young children.
• Candice needs to make a plan. She can begin by consulting with both a
therapist and a family law attorney to get some perspective on her
situation and advice regarding her best next steps.

ROBERT AND BECKY
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• Robert is not aware that Becky’s actions amount to domestic violence as
they were never married or even living together.
• He is hesitant to report Becky’s behavior to the police because he feels
sorry for her and guilty about hurting her. He believes she needs help
and wants to avoid causing her more trouble.
• Robert is right that Becky needs emotional support, but he cannot be
the one to provide it.
• He needs to consider making a police report and/or consulting with an
attorney.

BLAKE AND CASSANDRA
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• Both Blake and Cassandra are depressed, and neither can imagine
ending the relationship.
• Cassandra believes Blake’s behavior is abusive, but she does not see
that her own actions are also abusive and are escalating things.
• Both Blake and Cassandra need to seek help for their anger issues and
depression. Blake also needs help for alcohol abuse.
• Blake is almost twice Cassandra’s size, putting her in a vulnerable
position. She needs to ask Blake to stay somewhere else or find a safe
place to stay herself.

Seeking Help:
MAKING A SAFETY PLAN
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• Pack some clothing and other essential items such as money and
important documents (lists of addresses and phone numbers, social
security cards or birth certificates for you and your children) so that you
will be ready to leave at any time.
• Teach children how to use the phone and what steps they should take in
an emergency.
• Decide in advance whether you will go to the home of a friend or
relative or to a domestic violence shelter.

Seeking Help:
COLLECTING EVIDENCE OF ABUSE
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• Write out a detailed description of every instance of abuse.
• Save any mail, email, text messages or voice recordings containing
threats or offensive language.
• Photograph any visible injuries.
• Write down names, addresses, and telephone numbers of witnesses.
• Keep copies of all medical or emergency room records and reports.
• Bring the information with you when you consult with an attorney,
make a police report, or apply for a restraining order on your own.

Seeking Help:
ATTORNEY ASSISTANCE
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• A consultation with an attorney should be part of your safety plan.
• You do not have to worry about your abuser finding out about the
consultation. All of your information will be kept confidential.
• It is especially important to have attorney assistance as early as possible
if you have children with your abuser or if you are married to your
abuser and need financial support.
• You can ask the court to order the abuser to pay your attorney’s fees if
you file a civil complaint and request a restraining order.

Seeking Help:
MAINTAINING A CONFIDENTIAL ADDRESS
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• If you are concerned about the abuser discovering your location, you
can request that your address be omitted from any public reports or
court papers.
• Victims of domestic violence can apply for a long-term confidential
address through The New Jersey Address Confidentiality Program.
• This program forwards mail from a substituted address to a victim’s
actual location.
• On request, a victim’s state and local government records can also be
kept confidential.

When is Domestic Violence a
Crime in New Jersey?

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE 101: CRIMES OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
The New Jersey Prevention of Domestic Violence Act
(NJPDVA)
The NJPDVA (N.J.S.A.2C:25-17 et seq.) defines domestic violence
to include 14 specific criminal offenses, whenever these offenses
are perpetrated by an adult or emancipated minor upon a current
or former spouse, household member, dating partner, or co-parent
(including a future co-parent if one party is pregnant).
These crimes can be prosecuted in criminal court, but can also be
the basis for relief under the NJPDVA.
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• Homicide
• Assault
• Terroristic threats
• Kidnapping
• Criminal restraint
• False imprisonment
• Sexual assault
• Criminal sexual contact
• Lewdness
• Criminal mischief
• Burglaryaq
• Criminal trespass
• Harassment
• Stalking 4
NJPDVA
CRIMES OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

Crimes under the NJPDVA
ETHAN AND CANDICE
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• By communicating in offensively coarse language or in an annoying or
alarming manner, Robert may have committed “harassment.”
• By physically preventing Candice from leaving the home, he may have
committed “false imprisonment.”
• Both of these offenses are included in the NJPDVA. An attorney could
discuss the applicability of the restraining order process with Candice
and help her obtain temporary orders for spousal support and child
support.

ROBERT AND BECKY
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• Becky may have engaged in “harassment” by making frequent angry
phone calls to Robert.
• She has committed “criminal trespass” by entering Robert’s home
unlawfully.
• Vandalizing Robert’s car amounts to “criminal mischief.”
• Becky’s behavior is escalating into a pattern known as “stalking.”
• All of these offenses are included in the NJPDVA. Robert would be wise
to consult an attorney about getting a restraining order against Becky.

BLAKE AND CASSANDRA
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• Both Cassandra and Blake have committed “simple assault,” Blake by
pushing Cassandra into the door and Cassandra by slapping Blake in the
face.
• This couple is closely bonded and neither of them currently wants to
start legal action, but they need to understand the high degree of
danger and the risk that the violence between them could escalate.
• Both Blake and Cassandra have cases for restraining orders, and in these
kinds of situations couples sometimes end up with mutual restraining
orders.

Domestic Violence:
The Legal Process

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE 101: LEGAL PROCESS
NEW JERSEY LEGAL PROCESS
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Restraining orders under the NJPDVA
TEMPORARY RESTRAINING ORDER (TRO)
• Prevents abuser from having contact with victim
temporarily.
• May include other relief, such as temporary orders
for child custody and financial support.
FINAL RESTRAINING ORDER (FRO)
• May be ordered after a court hearing scheduled
approximately 10 days after the TRO.
• Both victim and abuser appear at court and testify
under oath.

The primary objective of a restraining order is to eliminate
physical contact between a victim and a perpetrator. The
order may require the perpetrator to:
• Stay a specified distance from a protected
person.
• Stay a specified distance from a protected
person’s home, workplace, school, or other
location.
• Refrain from calling or otherwise contacting a
protected person (by e-mail, text, and/or mail
for instance).
• Refrain from contacting other relevant and
interested persons.
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RELIEF AVAILABLE UNDER THE NJPDVA
Restraining orders

Protections for children may include:
• A temporary child custody and visitation
schedule (or a temporary denial of visitation).
• An order for a risk assessment to determine the
need for supervised visitation or other
restrictions on visitation.
• An order for temporary child support.
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Protection for Children

Financial relief may include:
• Temporary orders for spousal support, including
payment of rent, mortgage, insurance, and other
expenses.
• Temporary possession of the marital home.
• Temporary possession of jointly owned personal
property such as a car.
• Orders for payment of medical bills or attorneys
fees.
• Compensatory or punitive damages for lost
income or personal injuries.
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Financial Relief

• If the perpetrator possesses dangerous
weapons, the request for relief can include a
warrant for search and seizure.
• The perpetrator may be ordered to undergo
psychiatric evaluation.
• The perpetrator may be ordered to attend a
batterers intervention program.
• The perpetrator may be ordered to participate in
another type of treatment, such as substance
abuse treatment.
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Additional Relief

How to File a Domestic Violence
Complaint and Request a TRO
You can file forms for a civil complaint and TRO request at either
the Family Division of your county Superior Court or your local
police station.
COURTHOUSE HOURS:
Monday-Friday 8:30 a.m. - 4:00 p.m.
To download a pdf outlining the legal process
involved under the NJDVPA, go to
http://www.weinbergerlawgroup.com/assets/files/nj-
info-domesticviolence-law-explained.pdf
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POLICE STATION HOURS:
Weekends & Monday-Friday after 4:00 p.m.
When you arrive at the county courthouse or police station, tell
the clerk or officer on duty that you are a victim of domestic
violence and would like to file a complaint and request a
restraining order.

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Forms Required for a TRO:
To download a pdf including the forms for a New Jersey
Domestic Violence Civil Complaint and TRO and detailed
information on completion, go to:
http://www.weinbergerlawgroup.com/assets/files/nj-
domesticviolence-tro-form.pdf

NEW JERSEY LEGAL PROCESS
Representation by a skilled attorney can
reduce your anxiety and can make the
difference…
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Converting a TRO to an FRO
Within approximately 10 days following issuance of a TRO, the
court will schedule a hearing where a judge will decide
whether the order should be dismissed or converted into a
Final Restraining Order (FRO). Both you and your abuser will
appear and testify at this hearing.
If you do not already have an attorney, you should have one
before the hearing on the FRO. Representation by a skilled
attorney can reduce your anxiety and can make the difference
between your TRO being dismissed or becoming a final order.
An FRO can generally include anything that a TRO can include,
as well as additional appropriate relief. Relief granted in an
FRO will be permanent unless the FRO is dismissed in a further
court proceeding.

TIMING IS IMPORTANT FOR A FINAL RESTRAINING ORDER
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Time is of the essence: if you are in need of a restraining order, don’t delay. When seeking a
final restraining order the courts will look at the following:
• proof that the crime of domestic violence occurred, and
• evidence to prove that protection from the abuser is necessary.
Lapses between when the incident of domestic violence occurred and when the restraining
order is sought will be scrutinized by the court, as will any contact that occurs between the
parties during this time.

AFTER A RESTRAINING ORDER IS GRANTED
PRECAUTIONARY STEPS
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• Give copies of your order to anyone affected by the terms (for example, any other people
the court has ordered the abuser to stay away from) and anyone who may be able to assist
you in enforcing the order if necessary (the police, friends or relatives, front-desk personnel
or security guards).
• If you and the abuser were living together and you will be staying in the same house or
apartment, change your locks.
• If harassing phone calls were part of the abuse, consider changing your phone number.

STEPS TO PROTECT CHILDREN
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• If you have children with the abuser and the court has ordered a limited or supervised
visitation plan, be sure to provide copies of the restraining order to school or day care
personnel, as well as anyone else who cares for your children or will be supervising
visitation.
• If your children are old enough to understand, explain the visitation plan to them. Tell them
what the procedure will be if you are unable to pick them up and who will be coming to get
them, so that they know that even in an emergency they should not go with the abuser
without express permission.

ENFORCING A RESTRAINING ORDER
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• If the abuser violates any conditions of the restraining order that limit contact with you or
with any other person, the police can immediately arrest the abuser.
• If your order includes provisions regarding payment of fees or financial support, or
provisions regarding parenting, you will need to seek enforcement in Family Court.

SEEKING A DIVORCE AFTER DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
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• A restraining order is often the first step in a divorce. In granting a request for a TRO or
FRO, the court has the power to order some types of relief that are usually ordered in
divorce cases, such as spousal support, child support, and custody and visitation orders. Be
aware, however, that unless you also file a complaint for divorce, you will remain married.
• If you have a TRO or FRO against your spouse and you wish to proceed to divorce, a family
law attorney can help you determine the best way to go forward.

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE 101: RESOURCES
INFORMATION AVAILABLE ONLINE
• NJCBW County by County Guide to Services in New Jersey for Victims of
Domestic Violence (includes extensive listings of emergency and transitional
safe housing), available on the web at:
• New Jersey Adult Protective Services (APS) Providers: A list of county adult
protective service providers available on the web at:
http://njcbw.org/gethelp_NJservices.html
http://www.state.nj.us/humanservices/doas/home/adultpsp.html

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE 101: RESOURCES
ADDITIONAL RESOURCES AVAILABLE FOR HELP
In addition to help available through emergency services, court interventions and
domestic violence hotlines, the following resources provide help and information:
• New Jersey Coalition to End Domestic Violence: (609) 584-8107
• Center for Hope and Safety (New Jersey): (201) 944-9600
• Shelter Our Pets (New Jersey): For assistance with housing your pets if
you are entering a domestic violence shelter: 973-506-9696

Do you have other questions?
CALL US: (888) 888-0919 EMAIL US: info@weinbergerlawgroup.com

Court Plaza South-West Wing. 21 Main Street, Suite 354 I Hackensack, NJ 07601. Phone: (201) 642-2000 WeinbergerLawGroup.com
(888) 888-0919
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