Full presentation on the relationship between love, anger and forgiveness. As the most powerful of the three, love pervades the other two. The greatest love can often lead to the greatest anger, and therefore the greatest need for forgiveness. Also covers these processes in terms of intimacy, empathy and grief.
3. OUR JOURNEY AHEAD…
•Healthy/unhealthy anger
•Healthy/unhealthy forgiveness
•The role of empathy
•Grieving & forgiveness
•Thought-action-feeling overview
•Anger, forgiveness and intimacy
•Self forgiveness, faith & optimism
4. HOLDING ON…
•Love makes us want to hold on
•Hold too tight, and love is gone
•Anger is holding on
•Holding on becomes control,
jealousy, dependency—not love
5. LETTING GO…
•“Love is letting go”
•“Anger release” means letting go
•Forgiveness is letting go of anger
•Deep love requires
surrender
•Letting go can be the
beginning of control
6. •It’s “blind,” “intoxicating”
•It “makes the world go around”
•It’s what we want & fear most
•It can lead to control
•It is a primary motivator
•It just might be who we are
LOVE
7. ANGER
•Comes from love & fear
•Can destroy love
•Judgment
•Projection
•Victim position
•Holding on
11. ANGER IS…
•Energy, emotion—energy in motion
•For your benefit & protection
•Natural and healthy at its core
•Toxic when repressed & denied
•Destructive when isolated from love
and wisdom
12. ANGER IS NOT…
•The “bad guy”
•An effective form of vengeance
•Behavior—aggression/violence
•A good communicator by itself
•The opposite of forgiveness
13. FORGIVENESS IS NOT…
•Absolving the perpetrator
•Letting anyone off “the hook”
•Approval for behavior
•For the forgiven—necessarily
•Denying the need for justice
14. FORGIVENESS IS…
•A process—not an end point
•Taking responsibility for your
wounds
•Holding the perpetrator
accountable
•For benefit of your health
•A return to love
20. 7/3/2014
Thoughts
Actions
Emotions
UNHEALTHY ANGER
•“It’ not my fault”
•“They” are bad/evil
•“I’m good because I’m not them”
•Aggression, attack, violence
•Passive-aggressive behavior
•Depression/illness
•Victim feeling
•Nursing wounds
•Helplessness/powerlessness
21. 7/3/2014
Thoughts
Actions
Emotions
HEALTHY ANGER
•“They are responsible for their actions”
•“I am responsible for my reactions”
•“How can I grow stronger, wiser, safer?”
•Taking time for emotional release
•Spiritual practice
•Effective, productive action
•Power/strength
•Release/relief
•Forgiveness/acceptance
22. GRIEF AND
FORGIVENESS
•Both start with love/vulnerability
•Both involve loss/injury
•Both are blocked by unexpressed
anger, rage, hatred
•Both require movement through
pain & sorrow
•Both involve a return to love
23. EMPATHY AND ANGER
•Perpetrators lack empathy
•Empathy is a bridge for
communication
•Empathy allows other to be
human & dispels illusion of
self-righteousness
24. •Both require understanding
•Every victim contains a
perpetrator
•Empathy allows acceptance
when forgiveness is not
attainable
EMPATHY AND
FORGIVENESS
25. •The greatest love
•The greatest anger
•The greatest need for forgiveness
ANGER, LOVE AND
FORGIVENESS IN INTIMATE
RELATIONSHIP
27. We need protection from:
•Anger
•Sarcasm
•Neglect
•Criticism
•Judgment
•Projection
28. And we need to provide:
•Love
•Safety
•Support
•Forgiveness
•Responsibility
•Financial wellness
•Spiritual leadership
29. THE ART OF
APPRECIATION
1.Raises the value of
a.The relationship
b.The person (in your eyes)
2.Lowers your stress level
3.Raises your energy level
4.Inspires loyalty &
camaraderie
5.It’s good for your health, so
do it for you!
31. ANGER, LOVE, FORGIVENESS
& YOURSELF
•Healing of basic shame
•Embracing the inner critic
•Becoming your own best friend
•Importance of faith and optimism
•Accepting freedom and
responsibility