How to Coach? - Behaviors
What good coaches do:
Help people understand themselves more
fully so they leverage their strengths
Advance the clear formation of goals
Facilitate self-assessment – what worked
well? What did not?
Listen carefully and show a keen interest
in what the coachee shares
Ask thought provoking questions
Help the coachee consider ideas, actions
and strengths not considered before
Act as a safe sounding board
Provide praise and encouragement
Tap untested potential
Traps coaches need to avoid:
Acting like experts and giving the answers
Lecturing, telling and pontificating
Analyzing the reasons for the problems
Gathering facts and information that only
satisfies the coach’s curiosity
Imposing own opinions and solutions
• Stimulating Thinking
• Challenging Confirming
3 Fundamental Skills for Coaching
Skill # 1: Asking Thought-provoking Questions
Ask Questions about the situation and context
Ask Questions about approach, attitudes, process, systems/ supports needed
Ask Questions about implications of action or non-action, lead listener in
considering new perspectives/ alternative possibilities
Ask Questions about what is required to take action and make progress
Skills # 2 & # 3: Active Listening & Motivating Action
1. Pay Attention - Give the speaker your undivided attention. Recognize that non-verbal
communication also "speaks" loudly.
TIP: Don't mentally prepare a rebuttal!
2. Show That You're Listening - Use your own body language & gestures to convey attention.
TIP: Note your posture and make sure it is open and inviting.
3. Provide Feedback - Our personal filters, assumptions, judgments, and beliefs can distort
what we hear. As a listener, your role is to understand what is being said.
TIP: Reflect what has been said by paraphrasing. "What I'm hearing is…" & "Sounds like
you are saying…" – Both are great ways to reflect back the speaker’s main points.
BONUS TIP: If you find yourself responding emotionally to what someone says, you
might say: "I may not be understanding you correctly, and I find myself taking what you
said personally. What I thought you just said is ____; is that what you mean?"
4. Defer Judgment - Interrupting is a waste of time. It frustrates the speaker and limits full
understanding of the message. You are gaining information and perspective. You add nothing
by attacking the speaker or otherwise putting him or her down.
TIP: Treat the other person in a way that you think they want to be treated.
Content modified with permission from MindTools.com – find other great leadership resources on their website!
What does it take to forge a trusting coaching partnership?
What does it take to build trust? What causes the loss of trust?
1. Do people know what to expect from you?
2. Do people believe that you do what you say?
3. Do people believe that you pay attention to their interest
Tips for Building Trusting Coaching Partnerships
Suspend your agenda – tune into what is important to the other person
Stop and listen when people’s emotions enter the conversation
Spend 3 minutes to learn about their interest and feelings about work
Convey empathy for the challenges people are facing
Ask people how well you have grasped their views and feelings
Do what you say you are going to do – follow through
Adapted from PDI; Leader as Coach
G Set a GOAL for the conversation …move to Commitment!
R Identify what the coachee's REALITY looks like,
how realistic the goal is and the roadblocks to achieving it
O Explore the OPTIONS to achieve the goal
W Determine the person’s WILLINGNESS to pursue the
identified options and wrap-up by defining next steps
Coaching Model: G.R.O.W.
G Set a Goal
• Agree on topics for discussion
• Agree on specific objectives for the
• Set a long-term aim if this is appropriate
• What is important to discuss from your
point of view?
• What would you like to achieve in this
• How can we make the most of the time
• How would you propose we begin?
Coaching Model: GROW
R Identify what the coachee’s Reality looks like, how realistic the goal is
and the roadblocks to achieving it
• Invite self assessment
• Offer specific feedback
• Avoid or check assumptions
• Discard irrelevant history and focus on
present and future
• Define the confidence to act in the face
• What factors are working for/working
against you at this time?
• How do you know that this is an accurate
• What effects do these factors have?
• What other factors are relevant?
• What is your perception of the situation?
• What will it take to be successful?
Coaching Model: GROW
O Explore the Options to achieve the goal
• Cover the full range of options
• Invite suggestions form the coachee
• Offer suggestions carefully
• Challenge/enlarge the space for
• Ensure choices are made
•What steps have you taken? What have
you tried so far?
•What ideas do you have? What
alternatives can you think of?
•Who might be able to help?
•What are the benefits and pitfalls of
the options you have generated?
•Which idea/option would you like to
Coaching Model: GROW
W Determine the person’s Willingness to pursue the identified
options and wrap-up by defining next steps (The Way)
• Get a commitment to act
• Identify possible obstacles
• Plan detailed actions on a timeframe
• Agree on what support will be given
• What are your next steps?
• When will you do what?
• What might get in the way?
• What would help you stay committed?
• How can I best support you? What
support do you need from others?
• How and when can you get that support?
• Closing thoughts?
Coaching Model: GROW
The Coaching Process
• Demonstrate interest
• Disclose your
motivations – be clear
about why you want
• Use the G.R.O.W
model to guide your
• Ask open, probing
• Ensure determined
actions will achieve
• What is next?
• Revisit goals
• Check in on coachee‘s
• Help coachee make
your ongoing support)
• Ask for feedback
about your approach
and degree of
Structuring the Coaching Conversation
Review: The GROW Model
Set long term aim if
Agree on specific
objective of session
Agree on topic of
Invite self assessment
examples of feedback
Implications and make
Cover the full range of
from the player. Offer
Ensure choices are
Commit to action
obstacles and how to
Make steps specific
and define timing