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the marmite alphabetacy 20
1. The quick update (that took a long time) with the poll results and what has happened to each of the kids so far.
2. It was time for the heir to be announced and the children gathered just as the other 5 other generations had before them- well, except for generation C. But the family didn’t talk about that mess. The ceremony was delayed because both simselves considered it their duty to announce the results of the poll. Since they were so busy pummelling each other, their was no one to perform the ceremony. And so Elendil was forced to call an old friend and ask for a favour. “Thanks so much. I’ll see you in a minute then.”
3. “Wow, they really do hate each other.” Elendil had called yet another simself. This one was even more recent and potentially looked even less like the creator than any of the others but traditionally kept out of legacy affairs. She preffered to spend her time in her fabulous house, cuddled up to Gerard Way...
4. ...who she recently married in a gorgeous graveyard wedding. Yes, she’s the fantasy simself with the rockstar husband. Oh come on! Bet you have one too...
5. “Ok then, in last place: Fiyero. In fourth: Firenze and in joint second... Frodo and Fion! Congratulations Farnsworth!”
6. All eyes moved to Farnsworth who remained silent for a few seconds before finally saying “Eh wha? Oh! Right! I’m heir!”
7. The rest of the family were immensely happy for Farnsworth. Fiyero’s band (troll in the dungeons!) had been booked for the Nervous Subject alternative rock tour, Fion would soon be kelda of an entire clan of Nac Mac Feegle and both Frodo and Firenze had faery girlfriends that had only just entered this world; to thow them into a legacy would be rather brutal. Elendil embraced his daughter. “This is what you want isn’t it?” she asked her. “Are you kidding?” she grinned. “being heir means serious simoleans- I’ll never have to apply for a research grant again! The university board can’t limit me any more! I mean sure, everyone’s always in favour of saving Hitler’s brain, but put it in the body of a great white shark...oooh, suddenly you’ve gone too far!”
8. So, after a lively graduation party with her siblings and friends Doctor Death and Doctor Frank Insane, Farnsworth left Shiz University to start her life as heir of the Marmite alphabetacy.
9. Fion and Rob Anybody wasted no time in getting married and, after Fion had been given her clan tattoos, she became kelda of the first Nac Mac Feegle clan in Gotham.
10. Wee Dangerous Spike spent a lot of time with Fion before leaving for the Nervous Subject alternative rock tour. Shortly after meeting, she and Big Yan (Rob’s right hand man) fell madly in love.*Yan was a little upset when WDS left with her bandmates for the Nervous Subject Alternative Rock tour, but it was a pretty casual relationship and he had other news to distract him. *there’s something about these Feegle. Sims fall in love with them after one flirt.
11. “Ooh, I canaeweit!” Rob squealed in a girlish voice most unfitting for the ‘Big Man’ of a fearsome clan. “Aye Rob” Fion agreed. “ ‘Sa stroongbabby, meh insides argettin’ such a kickin’!”
12. It was an exciting day for the, currently very small clan, when Fion finally gave birth... ...to twin girls. Female Feegle are uncommonly rare and possess all the intelligence that male Feegle lack whilst retaining the rowdy, drunken nature of their species. The birth of not one but two girls was taken to be a very good omen. They were named Maggie and Jeanie.
13. Soon after leaving University, Firenze married Finduilas his elven girlfriend.
14. Farnsworth was of course there on her twin’s special day and was overjoyed to see him so happy. Firenze noticed a young, blond man who had arrived with Farnsworth. “hey Farnsie, who’s that?” he asked curiously.
15. “Oh, that’s Archie, Archie Mayhew. He’s my new lab asistant. A little odd but he gets the job done and I like having him around because he has the same blood type as me.” she explained, laughing as she turned to see Archie arguing with one of the hybrid toadstools Firenze had grown to use as seats with help from Ailsa. Farnsworth introduced Archie to Firenze and left to congratulate the bride.
16. When she returned she found the two men laughing and joking together, clearly getting on very well. “Hey! Do you think you can spare Archie next weekend?” Firenze asked his sister. “We’re planning a little road trip. I’ll take good care of him I promise.” “Sure “ she replied warmly and as Archie turned to watch the bride chase Fion brandishing a pillow she whispered urgently to her twin: “If anything goes wrong, bring back the blood.”
17. During the traditional post wedding pillow fight, Frodo paused and stared at his girlfriend for a moment. “What?” Ailsa asked with raised eyebrows. “Is your outfit chafing? I did say you didn’t have to go for the full pixie effect just because of me.” “No it’s not that. But-well, I love you, you love me, we’ve talked about getting married, everything’s already set up... Do just want to-” “Sure!” “Really? You don’t want an actual proposal or-” “nah, let’s do it!”
18. “Ailsa, I just want you to know how much you mean to me and that I-” Frodo began, his eyes filling with tears. “Right back at you!” She interrupted his badly strung declaration and seized him.
19. “Farnsworth you’re missing the ceremony!” Archie cried. “Oh, he loves her, she loves him, yaddayaddayadda... Look at the incredible bark patterns on this tree! I think that if I can replicate its structure...” Archie sighed and smiled. That was Farnsworth, and that was why he lov- ...admired her as his boss. Yes, admired and respected her....
20. Elendil, who had been involved in a thrilling water balloon fight with Rob Anybody, missed both of the weddings.
21. It was a chilly night, very similar to the one on which Mort and Ysabell had first realised how they felt about each other. It was late- or rather, it was early- and the patrons of the Leaky Cauldron were finally stumbling home. Once again, the couple sat at their favourite table whilst Rob and Fion made out behind them. Just like before, Mort and Ysabell’s relationship was about to change drastically.
22. Firenze was soon the proud father of a little boy named Ingwë who has his mother’s eyes and skin and his father’s hair.
23. Ailsa wasn’t as surprised by her pregancy as she was to find herself in clothes. She gave birth to Morag who greatly resembles her mother.
24. Before leaving for the tour, Fiyero and Ariel got together with their mothers to discuss their wedding. The couple wanted to keep things simple but... “We’ve got to have fireworks!” the original simself said excitedly.
25. “oh yes!” Daphne agreed. “and there should be a huge ice sculpture in the shape of Fiyero and Ariel!” Fiyero shot Ariel a look of pure terror... Which she returned. No matter how they tried, it was clear that this wedding wouldn’t really be about what they wanted.
26. Backstage at one of the final gigs before the tour began, Frodo found Ariel with her head in her hands and knew just how she felt. He hated seeing her like this. If only they could just...what if they could... “Ariel, this is ridiculous. I don’t want all the fuss that our Mums are insisting on and I know you don’t either.” “I just want to marry you.” she smiled sadly. “Let’s do it then.” “What do you mean?” “Marry me. Here. Now. We’ll leave a letter explaining everything and by the time they read it we’ll be on the NS tour anyway. When it’s over, we’ll book a honeymoon to whereever WE want to go and if they’re upset they will have gotten over it by the time we’re back.”
28. Peppermint and Chistery had 3 adorable kitttens. 2 boys: Beetlejuice and JimJams and a girl: Glitterglue.
29. It had taken Archie weeks to do so, but he had finally worked up the courage to ask Farnsworth out. “Hey, Farnsworth-” he began confidently. “Fascinating,” she muttered “I wonder if the second test group will- Eh wah? Sorry Archie I missed that.” “Oh,” his courage faltered. “Never mind. It wasn’t important.” “Oh, I know what you want.” she beamed. “you do?” he asked in surprise “You want to be the first to test my latest invention! Of course you can! I’m fairly sure that this one won’t explode whilst you’re inside.” “yippee” he sighed but Farnsworth didn’t notice the dejection in his voice because she was hastily retrieving a lump of thick green goo that was edging towards the door.”
30. Elendil on the other hand knew exactly what was going on. “Don’t worry Archie, she’ll come round soon.” Archie made a small ‘hmph’ing noise. “No really. You wouldn’t believe how long I had to stalk Daphne for! Don’t give up.”
31. One morning Farnsworth received some bad news about her colleague Doctor Frank Insane. “Oh, how awful. Did he at least die painlessly? ...To shreds you say.” “Well, how is his wife holding up? ...To shreds you say.” Although this was very upsetting, Frank had left his research, and several unfinished inventions, to Farnsworth.
32. Jeanie (right) and Maggie (left)* soon grew into toddlers. Jeanie looks more like Fion whilst Maggie resembles Rob Anybody but they both love to bite. *I think.
36. The birth came early and surprised Finduilas but help was at hand in the form of RafumbaOerkins. “Nobody panic! I’m here and we’re going to get through this!” Neither Finduilas nor Firenze knew who Rafumba was but it was nice to be supported. They had a daughter named Lalaith which means ‘laughter’.
37. Whilst rummaging through boxes in the attic, looking for paper clips to hold her atomic collider together with, Farnsworth stumbled across some of her Great greatgreat Grandfather Fingon’s old research. She found plans for an invention that he never built and decided to honour his memory by constructing it. “Y’know your great greatgreat grandfather?” Archie asked nervously as sparks flew from the... whatever it was. “Was he the mad kind of scientist?”
38. “Work damn you!” She cried as the entire...thing began to jump around the floor. “Eh wha? Mad?” “Oh my yes! They say madness runs in our family. Some even call me mad. And why? Because I dared to dream of my own race of atomic monsters, atomic supermen with octagonal shaped bodies that suck blood..."
39. Things were still not going as Archie wanted but Elendil kept insisting that he “hang in there!” and so he did.
40. Even though Farnsworth’s experiments were producing crazier and crazier results, and Archie was always the test subject, he continued to obey her every whim.
41. “You need to find out whether the luminous green waste your machine produces is toxic or not? I can do that for you!” “Thanks Archie, you’re the best.” The barrel was brimming with the congealed and mysterious goo. Archie was fairly certain that if he were to try to drop something into the barrel, it would bounce right back off the surface. He braced himself, thought of Farnsworth and drank.
42. “ARGH!” he screamed as his temples flared and stripes danced across his vision. “Help! AH!” He fell down into blackness. “Hey, that wasn’t so bad. I feel fine!” But Archie had spoken too soon.
43. Upon hearing Archie’s cries of pain, Farnsworth had rushed into the room to find him in a heap on the floor, perfectly still. “Oh what have I done?” she whispered.
44. A week later Farnsworth was sitting at Archie’s bedside, as she had been since the incident. “Oh please let him be okay.” she said aloud to no one in particular. “ I need him, and not just for his blood. I don’t know what I’d do without him. Why do I only see this now?”
45. Unbeknownst to Farnsworth, Archie had finally awoken and had been listening to her confessions with a quickly spreading grin for the best part of half and hour. He could contain himself no longer.
46. “Oh Archie!” she cried, her face screwed up in concern. “Are you ok?” “I think so.” he replied as he uncertainy got to his feet.
47. She pulled him into a tight hug. “I’m so sorry. I understand if you want to leave.” “Don’t be ridiculous!” Farnsworth was amazed to see that he was smiling. “This is the best job I’ve ever had.” “But you get blown up an average of 4 times a week!” “Yeah well, it’s more the people I get to work with...”
48. And as Archie finally confessed his feelings, everything fell into place.
50. “Good news everyone!” a highly excited Farnsworth wasted no time in spreading the word.
51. “Ach a weddin’!” exclaimed Fion. “Ah looveweddin’s! Come oover tonight, I’ll call thaoothers and we’ll have a party yeh ken. Drinks all aroound!”
52. “Wow Rob, the girls have really grown quickly!” “Aye, feeglebabbies do ye ken.” he answered, beaming as he looked at his daughters. “Allreadehproppahkeldas in trainin’” Farnsworth began to ask what he meant but was cut off by an orange and blue flash and a sharp pain on her nose. “She bit me!” she cried in disbelief.
53. “WOW!” breathed Firenze. “you’re so lucky! You may have been gifted by her!” “Really?” she said uncertainly. “Oh yes, Feegle saliva is very powerful stuff. It’s known to suddenly increase your creativity. You may suddenly feel the urge to sing opera or speak Mermish!” “I’m so jealous!” he sighed.
55. Mainly to make up for the loss of Fiyero’s wedding and cheer Daphne up, the couple had the traditional Marmite wedding. (although Farnsworth’s latest attempt at a weather generator had lead to heavy downpours on the day.)
56. But this didn’t spoil the day and the only thing to interrupt the loveydovey bliss was some pregancy nausea which of course lead to further hysterics and congratulations.
57. Well, that wasn’t quite the only thing. But what’s a little fore here and there?
58. The rain livened up the post wedding pillow fight and provided further activities for the wedding party.
59. “To Archie, who’s so much more than a blood type.” “Archie!” the guests echoed. Aprt from Rob Anybody who was staring down his drink* wickedly before consuming it. *which, upon his request had been filled with a blend of absinthe and Granny Weatherwax’s special sheep liniment rather than champagne.
60. Although she was undoubtedly, heavily pregnant, Farnsworth refused to give up inventing, even temporarily and it began to take its toll. “You look terrible.” the voice woke Farnsworth from a strange dream where she was swimming in pie*. “Mrmnmh?” she mumbled *Which was nothing like her other dream where she was chased by pi.
61. “SSH! I’ve just had an ingenious idea!” she dashed away to scavenge parts from the dishwasher ‘that no one really needed anyway’ and left the stranger to finish her pie, and stroll leisurely across the house to take a relaxing bath. “maybe you should take a break” he suggested “who are you?” she demanded, suddenly wide awake “why are you in my house?” “I dunno. Door was open. But I really think you should-”
62. Archie believed that crazy hormone levels were only making his wife more incredible and set about capturing her frenzied genius on canvas. But everyone was so busy, inventing, painting or (in the cases of Elendil and Daphne) woohooing away their autumn years that no one paid the bills.
64. “Hello Peppermint,” Elendil cooed “let’s play finger wiggle.” “No time, foolish food bringer. It is vitally important that I train my kittens to fight crime, protect the innocent and save the-”
65. “Oh my. Look how it wiggles! Dancing before my eyes!” “perhaps, their training can wait a moment... MINE!”
66. Beetlejuice inherited the most powerful gift this generation. Pyrokenesis. This is a dangerous ability for a cat so psychotic.
67. Glitterglue has developed invisibilty.* *So it seemed silly to use a picture of her using his power. Here she is in training instead.
68. At first, the family spotted no abilities in Jimjams other than his ability to sleep all day. And then they realised that he could do so ANYWHERE.
69. Whilst FLOATING*. *but he can only float whilst asleep. A useful gift I’m sure you agree.
70. After a long and quite dangerous* pregnancy, Farnsworth gave birth to a beautiful baby girl who was named Ginevra after, you guessed it, Ginny Weasley. *She often fell asleep mid-experiment and quite a few explosions ensued. So this chapter is dedicated to the memory of those poor unfortunates who were blown into teeny smoking pieces in the noble name of science- or something that passes for science anyway.
71. She quickly grew into a toddler and was adored by all who new each other. Farnsworth was greatly relieved to find that Ginny wasn’t as fond of biting as her cousins.
72.
73. Farnsworth immediately got back into full time inventing and was eager to try out her new ideas and get really involved in her work. “Budha! Zeus! God! One of you guys do something!...Help! Satan! You owe me!!!”
