Intimate relationships require deep commitment across multiple domains and foster interdependence, where the decisions and experiences of one person affect the others in the relationship. The more intimate the bond, the greater the interdependence. Satisfying relationships involve equal and continuous investment of time, energy, and attention from both partners. Intimate relationships also involve dialectical tensions between opposing but important needs, such as the desire for autonomy versus connection, openness versus privacy, predictability versus novelty, which must be constructively managed for the relationship to thrive.

1. Intimate Relationships
Requirements

2. Intimate relationships require deep
commitment (e.g., emotional, social,
legal, financial, etc.)

3. You assume you will stay in a
relationship no matter what!

4. Intimate relationships foster
interdependence.

5. That is, events or decisions that affect
one person in the relationship affect
everyone else in the relationship.

6. The more intimate the relationship, the
higher the level of interdependence.

7. Intimate relationships require
continuous investment (i.e., time,
energy, and attention).

8. The most satisfying relationships are
those in which both parties are
investing equally.

9. Intimate relationships spark
dialectical tensions.

10. Dialectical tensions are conflicts
between two important but opposing
needs or desires.

11. Autonomy
the desire to be
your own
person
Connection
the desire to be
close to others
vs.
For example:

12. Openness
the desire for
disclosure and
honesty
Closedness
the desire to
keep certain
facts, thoughts,
and ideas to
yourself
vs.
And

13. Predictability
the desire for
consistency
and stability
Novelty
the desire for
fresh new
experiences
vs.
And

14. Dialectical tensions are problematic
only when people fail to manage them
constructively.