Exploring Implications of the Impact of Mental Health Issues on Those Experiencing Domestic Violence in Same Sex and/or Trans Relationships, Catherine Donovan - a presentation at the A Difficult Alliance? Making Connections between Mental Health and Domestic Violence Research and Practice Agendas on 7 June 2011

1. Exploring Implications of the Impact of Mental Health
Issues on Those Experiencing Domestic Violence in
Same Sex and/or Trans Relationships.
Catherine Donovan
University of Sunderland

2. Overview of paper
 Introduction/ context setting
 Domestic violence in same sex and trans
relationships – similarities and differences with
heterosexual women‟s experiences
 Help-seeking
 Bridging the gap of trust

3. Introduction/context
• In common with other minority groups – Black people,
women, disabled people, LGBT lives have traditionally been
dismissed as:
– Unnatural – deviant, genetically weaker, enfeebled, less
than
– Pathologised – deviant, mentally deranged/ unstable
– Dangerous – deviant, criminal, a threat

4. Taking Care
• LGBT people wary of seeking help yet
• LGBT people at highest risks for key indicators of mental
health problems:
– Suicide
– Alcohol / drugs
– Depression, anxieties etc
(e.g. Hunt and Fish, 2008; King and McKeown, 2003;
Whittle and Al Alami, 2007)

5. Comparing love and violence in same sex
and heterosexual relationships
• Assumptions:
– Consensual relationships
– Based on feelings of love, desire, positive
– Similar aspirations about love across gender and sexuality
– Focus on understandings of love and expectations about relationships
in interviews
With Prof M Hester, J. Holmes and Dr M. McCarry

6. Our study
1. A UK-wide survey of „what happens when things go wrong‟ in
same sex relationships (800 responses, 746 usable
questionnaires).
2.Five focus groups with lesbians, gay men and heterosexual
women and men of different ages and ethnicities (21
individuals).
3.Semi-structured interviews with 67 individuals (41
lesbian/gay/queer, 3 bisexual, and 23 heterosexual)

7. Key Findings
• From the survey:
– 38% had experienced domestic abuse at some time in a same
sex relationship.
– This included 40% of the female and 35% of the males
– 78% said they had ever experienced emotional abuse
– 40% said they had ever experienced physical and sexual abuse

8. Emotional abuse – ‘top ten’
 Isolated from friends
 regularly insulted/put down
 frightened by things your partner says/does
 told what to do/who to see
 isolated from relatives
 made to do most housework
 your spending controlled (men)
 your age used against you
 malicious/pestering phone calls
 your education used against you

9. Physical abuse – ‘top ten’
 slapped/pushed/shoved
 physically threatened (men)
 kicked/punched
 restrained/held down/tied up
 stalked/followed by partner
 beaten up
 choked/strangled/suffocated
 locked out of house/room by partner
 hit with an object/weapon
 bitten

10. Sexual abuse – ‘top seven’
 had sex for sake of peace
 touched in way that caused fear/alarm/distress
 forced into sexual activity (men)
 hurt during sex
 'safe' words/boundaries disrespected (men)
 sexually assaulted/abused
 refused your request for safer sex (men)

11. Similarities between women and men
 First same sex relationships risk for domestic abuse
 Sexuality as tool of control: threatening to out a partner, denigrating
the scene; abusive partner not wanting to be out
Similarities with heterosexual women
 Post separation abuse
 Abusive partner controlling activities/relationships of
victim/survivors
 Abusive partner undermining victim/survivor sense of self

12. Gender differences in same sex relationships
 Women typically experience emotional abuse and emotionally
coercive sexual abuse
 Men typically experience physical abuse and physically coercive sexual
abuse
 Women typically live with abusive partner and experience longer
abusive relationship
 Men typically did not live with abusive partner and more likely to
experience shorter abusive relationship

13. Domestic abuse in Trans relationships
• 80% of respondents stated that they had experienced emotionally, sexually
or physically abusive behaviour from a partner or ex-partner.
• However, only 60% of respondents recognised the behaviour as domestic
abuse.
• The type of abuse most frequently experienced by the respondents was
transphobic emotional abuse, with 73% of the respondents experiencing at
least one type of transphobic emotionally abusive behaviour from a partner
or ex-partner.
• 10% of respondents stated that someone had forced, or tried to force them
to engage in sexual activity for money.
Out of Sight Out of Mind (2010) LGBT Domestic Abuse Project in
partnership with the Scottish Transgender Alliance

14. Domestic Violence in same sex /trans
relationships
 Most do not recognise their experience of domestic
violence
 Public story of domestic violence is:
 Heteronormative
 Gendered
 Physical violence
(Donovan and Hester, 2010)

15. Help Seeking
Most did not report their experiences:
 Because they did not see it as domestic abuse
 Because they did not think they would receive a
sympathetic response

16. National Domestic Abuse Strategy
 Focuses on identifying those victim/survivors at highest risk
who are:
 Referred to the MARACs
 Provided support by IDVAs

17. LGBT DA Referrals to the MARAC
Nationally:
Between July 2009-June 2010 less than 1% (0.63%) of those
referred to MARACs were identified as being LGBT
victim/survivors
CAADA [online], Available at http://www.caada.org.uk/index.html

18. Barriers to referrals of LGBT v/s
i. Appropriate use of the CAADA risk indicator checklist,
ii. how referrals are made to the MARAC,
iii. who makes referrals to the MARAC and
iv. who sits on the MARAC.
At each stage LGBT victim/survivors may drop out of the process.
Donovan 2010; Donovan and Rowlands, 2010

19. Help-seeking
 One in five did not seek help from anyone
 Most used „informal‟ or „private‟ means rather than voluntary or
statutory sector services
 More than half contacted friends – women
 about a third used counsellors or therapists
 GPs or colleagues also used – men
 About one in ten contacted the police – more men. Compare with
heterosexual women

20. Looking after ourselves
• Gap of trust between LGBT communities and mainstream
agencies, particularly the police
(Donovan and Hester, 2011)
• Garland (1996) explains recent developments in CJS:
• Criminology of the other – state‟s promise to protect public from
the worst offenders/ behaviours - and punish them (no longer
rehabilitate them)
– Criminology of self– for the rest the public is expected to take
responsibility for ourselves – private insurance/ security/ safety
strategies

21. However
 Women and LGBT people have always had to look
after ourselves (Moran et al, 2003)
 LGBT have been criminalised/ problematised by
CJS
 LGBT people have been pathologised by the
mainstream

22. LGBT responses
 Individualised
 Private
 Beneath the parapet
 Not helped by LGBT communities‟ resistance
to accepting „our‟ relationships can be „as bad
as‟ heterosexual relationships

23. Raises questions about privatised mental health
provision: counselling/ therapy
 How is sexuality understood in these paradigms?
 How is domestic violence understood in these
paradigms
 What responses do LGBT people get to their
experiences

24. Bob: Following the advice of my therapist I just ignored everything. I didn‟t get in
the game. He says, “Don‟t even, just don‟t even cut him off when he phones. If you
see his number, ... So if you see it‟s this number, do nothing.You know, put it on
silent. Don‟t cut off. Don‟t even cut him off, because that‟s an act of engagement
with him. Just don‟t engage in anyway whatsoever.” And it went on for eight months.
And eventually ... I just went upstairs and I phoned him and said, “Look. Do not
phone me. Do not call me ... I want nothing to do with [you]. ... My therapist
wasn‟t happy about it. But it worked.
Int. ... Did you think about reporting that to the Police?
Bob: I thought about the telephone company and they said there was nothing they
could do. ... went to a solicitor to get a Restraining Order. I mean one e-mail he sent
me, he said, “I‟ve got a job in Edinburgh. I‟m coming up. And I‟m going to move in
with you,” and stuff like that. So I went to a solicitor to get an injunction against him
to keep him away from me, but ... my therapist talked me out of it. He said, “It‟s
what he wants.” He says “He‟s engaging you, it‟s, it‟s getting you into the game.” He
said, “I wouldn‟t do it if I were you. Because he will ignore it anyway.” He said ...
“OK then the Police can lift him but again you‟re just back in the game.”

25. Lynn: So [her sister‟s] gone from being this strong, vibrant person to being quite scared of a lot of
things, which, looking at it, is possibly how I was to some extent in my first relationship. Which
would possibly explain a lot of my friends doing the whole, „She was a bitch,‟ type thing, cos I was a
bright and sparky barmaid, say „hello‟ to everybody and be always excited to go on to this opportunity
or that, ... and the whole thing I described about afterwards, having to take so much courage to be
able to go to an event because I didn‟t know if anybody‟d like me. I probably was substantially
squashed by that and that probably was a certain amount of manipulation and some form of abuse to
an extent, so. ...
First one, probably again, I possibly couldn‟t talk to my friends so much because I felt ... they‟d judge
me and say, „well, we told you so. She‟s got problems and issues, get out,‟ ... I felt - although I did
have one best friend from that group ... but she still did do a little, „I told you so,‟ kind of thing
underneath, here and there. I don‟t think in either relationship, I ever sort of found myself thinking,
„I haven‟t got anybody to support me through the bad times or through the discussions that I need to
have or whatever.‟ Although having said that, I definitely had counselling after the relationship and that was a
way for me to find support through my Mum‟s stuff and first girlfriend stuff... Because ... I don‟t suppose at
that time, I could possibly have found a person in my friends or family that was able to give me the
support that I needed ... because I needed a lot of support at that time.

26. Conclusions and Questions
 Caution about how we talk about mental health consequences of
domestic violence on LGBT people
 Research suggests LGBT v/s rely on private/informal sources of
help, including counselling/therapy
 Part of the problem is:
 the public story about domestic violence which hinders recognition
 Gap of trust which prevents seeking help from mainstream and/or
specialist domestic violence services

27. Broader questions
• How to turn domestic violence in same sex and trans
relationships from private troubles into public concerns
– Promoting recognition of domestic violence in LGBT
relationships
– Promoting appropriate responses from mainstream and
specialist domestic violence agencies
– Understanding the differences and similarities with the
experiences of heterosexual women

28. Contact details:
Catherine.donovan@sunderland.ac.uk
0191 515 3218