Presentation at the American School of Valencia for high school parents focused on time management and myths about internet safety -- largely based on materials available at commonsensemedia.org Original can be found at https://docs.google.com/presentation/d/1Kzt3Fh6evMA-zRBQcCOAGozP3mfbA0O1Hs7pw9mRZ6I/edit?usp=sharing

1. XXI Century
Navigating the digital world with your child 2015
High School
Samuel Landete, IT Coordinator

2. Warning!! this slides
are most useful when
checking the notes

3. 5 True/False
affirmations about kids'
Internet
Safety
If you believe everything you hear about kids online, you might think pedophiles and
cyberbullies are around every cyber-corner. Yes, there is bad stuff out there. But the
truth is, there's a lot of good, and some experts are arguing against a "techno-panic
mindset" that worries parents unnecessarily. The bottom line is that we can't keep our
kids safe if we don't know the facts. Here are the five most popular myths about
Internet safety -- and the truths that can set your worries free.
This part of the presentation is based on 5 Myths and Truths About Kids' Internet
Safety by Caroline Knorr, commonsensemedia.org
May 27
Image: Compliance and Safety by Mpelletier1 [CC BY-SA 3.0 (http:
//creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

4. 1. Social media turns kids into
cyberbullies

5. What videogame were this guys playing?
Truth: There are many reasons why a kid might cyberbully, and social media is
just a convenient way to do the dirty work.
The reality is that kids who engage in this behavior typically have something else
going on that compels them to act out. They might be in crisis -- at home, at school, or
otherwise socially. They may also be bullying in person, or they may have an
underdeveloped sense of empathy. Awareness of a cyberbully's circumstances --
though not excusing the behavior -- can help parents and educators recognize the
warning signs and potentially intervene before it goes too far.
Don’t take my word, there’s a study here: http://www.escapistmagazine.
com/forums/read/7.819817-New-Study-Dismisses-Link-Between-Violence-and-
Videogames
Image is on the public domain: http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:
The_Battle_of_Towton_by_John_Quartley.jpg

6. 2. Teaching kids not to talk to
strangers is the best way
to keep them safe online

7. In today's world, where kids as young as 8 are interacting with people online, they
need to know the boundary between appropriate and inappropriate conversation. So
go beyond "stranger danger" and teach them what kind of questions are not OK (for
example, not OK: "Are you a boy or a girl?"; "Where do you live?"; "What are you
wearing?"; "Do you want to have a private conversation?"). Also, teach kids to not go
looking for thrills online. Risky online relationships more frequently evolve in chat
rooms when teens willingly seek out or engage in sexual conversation.
Image: On the Internet, nobody knows you're a dog by Marc Smith CC-BY-SA

8. 3. Kids act
worse
online

9. Truth: Most kids say that their peers are nice to each other online.
Newsflash: Most kids want to have fun, hang out, and socialize normally online -- and
in fact, according to the Pew Research Internet Project, that's what the majority is
doing. Check out these comforting stats:
● 65 percent of social media-using teens say they personally have had an
experience on a social-networking site that made them feel good about
themselves.
● 58 percent say they felt closer to another person because of an experience on
a social-networking site.
● 80 percent of teens who've witnessed mean and cruel behavior on a social-
networking site have come to the defense of a targeted friend.
And how about the kids who've fought cyberbullying and used the Internet for a social
cause? More and more, kids are harnessing the power of the online world -- and
busting up a few myths along the way.
Image: One laptop per child by Carla Gómez Monroy CC-BY

10. 4. It’s dangerous
to post pictures of your
kids online
There are two kinds of parents: those who love posting pics of their kids and those
who think it's asking for trouble. Although it's true that posting anything online invites
some risks, there are ways to limit them if you're smart about how you do it.
● Use privacy settings. Make sure your privacy settings are set so only the
closest people in your network can view your posts.
● Limit your audience. Only share posts with close family and friends. Or use
photo-sharing sites such as Picasa and Flickr that require a log-in to see pics.
● Don't rush your kids into social media. Obey the rules about keeping kids
under 13 off social media. Once your kids have an online profile, they can be
tagged in photos, which magnifies their online presence. If you're going to
upload photos of them, don't identify them and don't tag them -- that way the
photo can't be traced back to them.

11. 5. Parental controls
are the best way to
monitor my kids’
online activities

12. Truth: Focusing on only one Internet safety method lulls you into a false sense
of security.
To keep your kids safe online -- and to raise them to be responsible, respectful digital
citizens -- it takes more than installing parental controls. For starters, parental controls
can be defeated by determined kids. They also often catch too much in their filters,
rendering any Internet search useless, and they set up a "parent vs. kid" dynamic that
could backfire.
By all means, use parental controls to help prevent exposure to age-inappropriate
material and to manage time limits. But don't think they get you off the hook. Continue
to discuss responsible, respectful online behavior, set rules and consequences for
misbehavior, and train your kid to manage his or her own usage.
The brain does not need software updates!
Image: http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:
PSM_V46_D167_Outer_surface_of_the_human_brain.jpg Public domain

13. Distraction,
Multitasking, & Time
Management
This part of the slides is partly based on Distraction, Multitasking, & Time
Management by Common Sense Media.
Image: http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Distracted_Bunny.jpg
By: Nurasko
CC-BY-SA

14. Is multitasking an
important skill or a
damaging habit?
Many of us can relate to the experience of being digitally interrupted: a notification
from the phone, for example. That very moment we shift our focus. Sometimes we
seek those interruptions because we feel the urge to be connected, even to the point
of anxiety. We want relief from being bored, novelty or just feeling loved.
The fact that technology is constantly trying to pull attention from work is not a
problem exclusive to the kids.
Parents want their kids to learn how to cope with distractions since it is a skill that will
benefit them for life, but do not want them to acquire bad habits in the process or
lower their grades or isolate them from their social life.
Today we are going to focus on the challenge of managing technology’s disruptive
potential.

15. Let’s take a look at “The Social
Media Generation (Marc Maron)”
by Gavin Aung Than
Gavin illustrates famous quotes at his website http://zenpencils.com/

16. What is the biggest “digital
distraction” for you? Are there
any strategies you’ve
found particularly helpful?

17. What do you observe that seems
to be most challenging
for your child in terms of
distraction and
time management?

18. What strategy or policy do you
think would most help in
supporting your child in
those challenging
moments?

19. Other than schoolwork, are there
other times
when digital tools distract, for
example in terms of sleeping or
concentrating on other social
interactions?

20. How might strategies or “best
practices” for helping teens
avoid distraction differ in non-
schoolwork
situations?

21. Why are we so hooked?
The other day I saw a guy on a motorbike holding his phone on one hand and using
his nose to browse...

22. Kelly McGonigal found that we are hard-wired to keep checking if there are
intermittent rewards to save us when resources are scarce: when our
ancestors were hungry or when they did not find a suitable couple to mate,
they will keep on trying
Here is an interview with her on the radio: http://www.cbc.
ca/player/Radio/Spark/Extended+Interviews/ID/2219051551/
Image: By Photaro (Own work) [CC BY-SA 3.0 (http://creativecommons.
org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

23. That is why slot machines work… and why we cannot refrain from checking our
phones each time there is a notification (or in between notifications) because that’s
when we might get our reward: a funny whatsapp message, news from an friend, etc.
By Mark (originally posted to Flickr as nawlins 035) [CC BY-SA 2.0 (http:
//creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

24. Focus requires
willpower
Interesting facts about willpower: it runs out and fluctuates.
Mention study with a test, radishes and cookies.

25. We can outsource
willpower
There are apps that help you… There is software like Freedom or Self control that
cuts access to selected websites

26. But… is it a good idea?
Weakening intrinsic willpower?
Heavy reliance on GPS affects our brain navigational center.
When we store info on a computer, we are likely to remember where it is but not the
info itself
Willpower is like a muscle, it gets tired and if not exercised it gets weaker.
What will become of our brains?
On the other hand, outsourcing it saves our limited willpower for when we really need
it.
It turns out that we get plenty of exercise as it is everyday, so outsourcing willpower is
a good idea.
● Ideas extracted from http://www.cbc.
ca/player/Radio/Spark/Full+Episodes/ID/2341591068/ by Elah Feder
● the book Willpower by Roy F. Baumeister and John Tierney,
● a McGill study about GPS reliance and our gray matter and
● a study about storing information on computers and memory

27. Technology can also be
the cure to our
distractions
It turns out that we get plenty of exercise as it is everyday, so outsourcing willpower is
a good idea.
Ideas of slides 5-11 extracted from CBC podast spark Friday March 08, 2013 http:
//www.cbc.ca/player/Radio/Spark/Full+Episodes/ID/2341591068/ by Elah Feder
● the book Willpower by Roy F. Baumeister and John Tierney,
● a McGill study about GPS reliance and our gray matter and
● a study about storing information on computers and memory

28. Try
self-regulation apps
to eliminate distractions
Kids often need support – and in fact, they often
welcome tech solutions that help them manage their time. There are a number of
apps designed to help
people focus. Some apps let you block certain websites for a set amount of time. With
others, you can
whitelist and blacklist sites. For example, you can still use Wikipedia to read about
mitosis, but you won’t
be able to get on Facebook. Some teens like such self-regulation apps because they
are taking
responsibility for setting rules for themselves. They allow teens to stay in the driver’s
seat, recognizing
and managing the benefits and pitfalls of a 24/7 digital life.

29. 2 less technological
solutions...

30. 1. Try an
Experiment
It’s important to develop a strategy to help your kids focus and tune out distractions. If
the strategy is
successful, it can become a good habit. When you figure out what strategy you want
to try (see the tip
below for some ideas), propose an experiment. Say: “I’ve noticed that you get
distracted by your phone
during homework. I get distracted by my phone when I’m trying to work, too.
Let’s try an experiment.”
Then, explain the strategy you would like them to try. You may want to set a
specific amount of time for
the experiment as well (e.g., “We’ll try this for three days” or “We’ll try this on
Tuesdays and Thursdays”).
It can also be helpful to offer to try the experiment together — and doing a joint-
experiment gives you an
easy entry point for conversations during and after to explore what worked and
what didn’t.

31. 2. Get some
Distance
Many kids describe how a constantly buzzing cell phone distracts them from their
work. But they have
difficulty turning it off, for fear of missing out. After discussing it with your child,
consider these solutions:
• Get some physical distance from your phone. Leave it in another room or put it in a
drawer or
box that isn’t within arm’s length.
• Turn it on silent. And keep the phone facedown on the table.
• Take breaks for tech. After a certain amount of homework time, or after an
assignment is
completed, take 15 minutes to check and respond to messages.
● Turn data or wifi off or put the phone on plane mode.

32. The most important lesson is to model kid’s behavior and remember there is no
technological solution better than a good education

33. 21st Century Child: Navigating the digital world with your child 2015 - High
School by Samuel Landete Benavente is licensed under a Creative Commons
Attribution 4.0 International License.
Based on a work at https://docs.google.com/presentation/d/1Kzt3Fh6evMA-
zRBQcCOAGozP3mfbA0O1Hs7pw9mRZ6I/edit?usp=sharing.