Barrie Byron & Ann Grove

1. Communication Culture:
Resolving Conflict and
Leveraging Feedback
Ann Grove and Barrie Byron
Veteran presenters who are passionate
about lifelong learning and
experienced in embracing change
2012 STC Mid-Atlantic Regional Conference
Professional Development Track
1

2. 2
Barrie Byron
20+ years
– Technical writer,
happy team member
16 years
– Active STC
member and leader
11 years
– Active Toastmaster
member and leader
Lifelong learner
– Minimal conflict

3. 3
Ann Grove
11 years
– Business owner, technical communication
consultant
11 years
– Active STC member
and leader
Lifelong learner
– Embracing change

4. Negotiation is an ongoing,
evolving social experiment
“The gem cannot be
polished without
friction, nor man
perfected without
trial.”
~Confucius
4

5. Get started
• Passion is good; obsession is bad
• Put assumptions aside and listen to all
parties
• Develop strategies to remain focused,
respectful, empathetic, caring
• Avoid blame, accusations
• Avoid “right” and “wrong”
5

6. Communication Culture
• Learn to adapt your communication style
for your current team culture
– High tech versus low tech
– Direct conversation versus advance agendas
– Phone versus email, or even instant message
chats
“Of all things, communication
is the most wonderful.”
~John Dewey, 1939
6

7. 4 root causes for conflict
1. Personalities
2. Misunderstandings
3. Issues
4. Leadership styles
“There are two ways of meeting difficulties. You
alter the difficulties or your alter yourself to
meet them.”
~Phyllis Bottome 7

8. The cause behind the cause
Sometimes the
obvious cause is
actually a symptom
Examples of hidden
causes: power
struggles,
need to take credit

9. Cause 1
Contentious personalities
• Dispositions and personalities are
complex and complicated:
• Parenting
• Culture
• Community
• Experiences
• Outside influences
• Professional history (success, failures, habits)
9

10. 5 personality types
1. Know-it-all
2. Argumentative
3. People pleaser
4. Narcissist
ego-maniac
5. Self-loather
10

11. Cause 2
Misunderstanding
• Miscommunication is primary cause of
conflict
• Perceptions vary
• Facts, relevant
information not
clearly
communicated
11

12. Cause 3
Issues
• Social atmospheres change when team
members have different:
– Opinions
– Objectives
– Preferences
• Virtual work
– New challenges
12

13. Cause 4
Leadership styles
Preferential responses to the four primary
leadership styles:
1. Authoritarian
2. Democratic
3. Charismatic
4. Passive
13

14. • Listen objectively
• Understand
• Act
“Seek first to understand
and then to be understood.”
~Steven Covey, in 7 Habits of Highly Effective People
Leverage feedback
14
Graphic shared by
permission from
Don Moyer

15. 6 methods for resolving conflict
1. Ignore it
2. Smooth it over
3. Force
4. Compromise
5. Collaborate
6. Involve a third party
15

16. Prepare to negotiate
•Identify and assess your options
•Rough out a game plan
“If I had eight hours to chop down a tree, I'd spend
six sharpening my axe.”
~ Abraham Lincoln
http://www.raymears.com/Woodlore/Bushcraft_Tips_And_Advice.cfm/11-How-to-Sharpen-an-Axe/

17. Above all, stay positive
“Enthusiasts are
fighters. They have
fortitude. They have
staying qualities.
Enthusiasm is at the
bottom of all progress!
With it, there is
accomplishment.
Without it, there are only
alibis.”
~ Henry Ford
http://www.acceler8or.com/2011/07/optimist-author-mark-stevenson-
is-trippin%E2%80%99%E2%80%A6-through-the-tech-revolution/

18. Are you ready?
Investigated the issue
Understand team culture & personalities
Identified root causes, visible & hidden
Identified and assessed options
Have a game plan
Stay positive
Ready to negotiate!

19. Be ready to use your pause
button
“You ask a coworker to do something,
and she responds, ‘That’s not my job.’
Feeling your blood pressure rise, you
may be tempted to blurt out, ‘well, it’s
not my job either, blockhead!’”
~Negotiating for Dummies
Examples:
Sleep on it, go to the restroom, consult with a peer

20. Body Language
• Voice control
• Eye contact: 30 to 60 percent of the time
• Facial expressions: Smile!
• Arms and hands open
• Body tilted toward the speaker
• Subtly mirror your adversary.
• Google: “Forbes How to Win an Argument Without Words”

21. Know when to move on
• Swim with dolphins
• Be wary of tunas and sharks
http://www.snowmobileforum.com/attachments/lounge/1476d1111450284-dolphin-shark-1.jpg
~ Chellie Campbell, in
The Wealth Spirit: Daily
Affirmations for
Financial Stress
Reduction

22. Scenario 1: Face to Face
Writer is asking developer to provide
feedback on deadline
22

23. Scenario 2: On the Phone
Writer is asking boss for help
setting priorities

24. Practice negotiating
• Negotiate in a volunteer position
• Negotiate with your kids or a spouse
• Shop for a car
• Shop for expensive jewelry
• Negotiate at an antique store

25. 25
Keep in touch!
• Barrie Byron
– barriebyron@gmail.com
– www.linkedin.com/in/barriebyron
– barriebyron.wordpress.com
– twitter @barriebyron
• Ann Grove
– anngrove@logicalwriters.com
– http://www.linkedin.com/in/anngrove
– http://www.logicalwriters.com/
– twitter @AnnGrove