This edition of The Chill explores gender and self-esteem.

1. GSP’s Wellness Newsletter
Spring 2015
S
THE CHILLFourth Edition
Gender is all around us. There are words that are associated with
being a boy and others that are associated with being a girl.
There are clothes that boys are expected to wear, and clothes that
girls are expected to. There are sports that are considered
“boys” sports and sports that are considered “girls” sports.
Gender and Gender Roles affect our body image and can have a
significant impact on our Self-Esteem. In this spring edition of
The Chill we will explore how these expectations and roles
influence our Gender Identity, Body Image, and self-esteem and
how this identity can change throughout our lifetime.
ïGender &
Self-Esteemï
Gender
Gender
Roles
Self-
Esteem
Body
Image
!Gender Identity
Define Gender and explore the
ways our society influences our
Gender Identity, roles, and
expectations.
p. 3
p. 7ùWARNING
Signs that you or someone you know
may have a dangerous body image
and tips on how to improve it!
JBuilding
Self-Esteem
p. 8
Identify your personal strengths and
build a healthy self-esteem!

2. The Chill :: March 2015
2
What is Gender?
Gender is a combination of all the above
components. It is defined and evaluated all around
us. Our race, culture, age, ability and even our
personalities can affect how we think about our own
gender. “Gender” refers to what society deems and
constructs to be appropriate for people of different
sexes, whether it is through clothing, behavior or
gender roles. For example, in our society, wearing
makeup and cleaning are considered more
appropriate for girls, while playing certain sports
and videogames are considered more appropriate
for boys. But none of these activities are truly
restricted to a single gender. A person who is
biologically male may enjoy doing activities that
might be called “feminine.” This shows how sex—a
person’s biological and physical characteristics—
can be different from gender.
Is gender just a matter of being male
or female? Is gender only about the
way you look and dress? Or is it also
about how you see yourself and how
that affects you?
Gender in Social Systems
• The quality of being patriarchal: a patriarchal social
system
• A social system in which males hold primary power,
predominate in roles of political leadership, moral
authority, and social privilege over women and
children
Patriarchalism
• The doctrine advocating social, political
and all other rights of women equal to
those of men
• An Organized movement for the
attainment of such rights for women.
Feminism

3. The Chill :: March 2015
3
There are many different types of gender identities. It can be
hard to decide where you fit, especially if you feel like your
gender and sex don’t match. This can be difficult and
uncomfortable when you are a teenager and your body is
growing and changing. You may already know and be
comfortable with your gender or, like many people, you may
be unsure. Lots of People are unsure about their gender
identity. Many people need time and may explore different
genders throughout their teen year and even during their
entire life. Having feelings about your gender that are
different from what you see on TV, in movies or in books
doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with you. It means
that you are thinking about your gender and working out
what feels right for you. You are in the process of forming
your gender identity!
Defining Gender on your own terms.
Understanding Your
Own Gender Identity
Your sex is based on biological
characteristics used to label people as
male or female such as X and Y
chromosomes, internal and external
sex organs (ex. Testicles or ovaries),
hormonal levels and things like hair
growth and breast development. A lot
of people think the only sexes are
male or female. This isn’t true! Some
people are born intersex, which is a
general term for a person who is born
with biological characteristics that
don’t seem to fit the typical definitions
of female or male.
Biological Sex or Sexual
Identity
Your gender is how you identify or
present yourself, for example as a boy
or man, or as a girl or woman. Gender
isn’t about whether you were born
with a penis or vagina, but how you
feel about yourself.
Gender
Your sexual orientation is based on
your feelings, attractions, and
desires. People commonly define
their orientation using terms such as:
Heterosexual, Homosexual, Bisexual,
Queer, etc.
Sexual Orientation
What is…
How do I know what my
Gender Identity is?
The only person who can define your identity is YOU!
By reflecting honestly you can begin to understand what works
for you when defining your gender.
Ask yourself this: What gender do I feel
most comfortable identifying myself as?
Gender Roles
Societal and behavioral expectations
that are considered appropriate ways
for men and women to act and look
like in society. These expectations can
often lead to gender stereotypes that
can cause unequal an unfair treatment.

4. The Chill :: March 2015
4
Gender Roles and Expectations
Maecenas purus
õA Gender Role is a set of social and
behavioral norms that, within in a specific
culture, are widely considered to be socially
appropriate for individuals of a specific sex.
The perception of gender roles includes attitudes,
actions, and personality traits associated with a
particular gender within that culture.
õGender roles are cultural and personal.
They determine how males and females
should think, speak, dress, and interact within
society. Learning plays a role in this process of
shaping how we perceive our reality and how we act
in it.
õGender roles are expectations of how a
person should act, dress, and talk based on
our sex. The majority of people conform to
those roles very early on, but sometimes the
line blurs between femininity and
masculinity. Who’s to say that just because you are
male you have to act manly and if you are female you
must be girly? The media, for one.
õIt’s obvious that there is no clear, solid line
between masculinity and femininity, but not
for the media. It likes to show men who are strong,
athletic, and independent. They have commercials for
men that are rather neutral in emotion, or with fast-
paced action. Most of what the media says about
women is that they are nice, pretty, delicate, and they
wear their emotions on their sleeves.
õAs we grow older, both sexes endure an incredible
amount of pressure from the media to fit into their
gender roles. We can’t stop the media from
pressuring our everyday lives. That’s why we need to
demonstrate that there are other “alternate” ways of
expressing ourselves. This should start at home and
work its way to the media. We need to be open! We
shouldn’t suppress other’s personalities from coming
out. Diversity is what makes life great!

5. The Chill :: March 2015
5
Stereotypes are commonly held
beliefs, assumptions, or
oversimplifications about groups or
types of people. We all learn
stereotypes about race, gender,
class, religion, ethnicity, and age
from the media, our peers, and
families.
Gender Stereotyping is defined as overgeneralization
of characteristics, differences and attributes of a certain
group based on their gender. Gender stereotypes create
a widely accepted judgment or bias about certain
characteristics or traits that apply to each gender.
Gender stereotypes are dangerous because they might
create unequal or unfair treatments to a certain person
who chooses to defy people’s assumptions about his/her
gender. When gender inequality occurs on the background of gender stereotyping, this
is called sexism. The first step in overcoming stereotypical thinking is to be aware of
the stereotypes people hold…
Males may believe that to be
masculine they should:
v Be in control and appear unemotional
v Be the dominant partner in a relationship
v Put pressure or force on their sexual
partners
v Become sexually active at an early age
and have many partners
v Work in careers that are mechanical or
analytical
v Assume responsibility as the “breadwinner.”
v Achieve status by earning lots of money
v Take risks to prove their manhood
v Resolve conflicts with violence
v Avoid traditionally female work in the arts
or human services
Females may believe that to be
feminine they should:
v Be emotionally sensitive and vulnerable
v Submit to the wishes and demands of a
sexual partner
v Have children, regardless of personal wishes
v Meet the needs of others before their own
v Choose careers in the “helping” professions
v Be physically attractive, by someone else's
standards
v Tolerate sexually harassing behavior without
complaint
v Assume responsibility for sexual assault or
rape
v Avoid nontraditional careers in math or the
sciences
The bottom line is:
Stereotypes are destructive because they limit our potential!
Yet how may guys and girls do we know that try hard to act like the stereotype,
without even a second thought? What damage do we do to ourselves and others?
Boys are not born violent, or to have unhealthy attitudes towards women. Girls aren’t born drama queens, or less capable than
men. We learn these attitudes and behaviors through the stereotypes of what society thinks it means to “Act Like a Man” or
“Act Like a Women”. This is not to say its wrong for guys to like sports or girls to enjoy cooking—the problem is that we are
told that we must perform these roles in order to fit in. It restricts men from participating in “women’s work” and restricts
women from choosing roles that are traditionally “male”. This takes away from our personal choices in determining our own
interest and skills.
We must free ourselves from unrealistic ideals view people as unique individuals to help challenge stereotypes!
Stereotypes, whether supported by
evidence or not, make it difficult to
see people as individuals!

6. The Chill :: March 2015
6
Mainstream perceptions of Beauty and Gender role stereotypes, for
example, exist solely because society as a whole chooses to accept them,
BUT the media endorses them.
In everything from advertising, television programming,
newspaper and magazines, to comic books, popular music, film and video
games, women and girls are more likely to be shown: in the home,
performing domestic chores such as laundry or cooking; as sex objects who
exist primarily to service men; as victims who can't protect themselves and are
the natural recipients of beatings, harassment, sexual assault and murder.
Magazine Ads illustrate big breasts, small features, and a skinny frame as
feminine beauty. Female characters in television and film are side-lined, sexualized, underemployed and rarely in
shown as managers or business executives. These depictions send the message that passiveness and
subordination, rather than self-assertion and leadership, are expected and desirable in women.
Men and boys are also stereotyped by the media: From GI Joe to Rambo, masculinity is often
associated with machismo, independence, competition, strong and large muscles, emotional detachment,
aggression and violence. TV and music videos depict men as “players” and “womanizers” or having little to no
respect for women. Despite the fact that men have considerably more economic and political power in society
than women, these trends - although different from those which affect women and girls - are very damaging to
boys. Furthermore, images aimed at kids and teens are particularly polarized in the way they portray girls and
boys. In advertising, for instance, girls are shown as being endlessly preoccupied by their appearance, and
fascinated primarily by dolls and jewelry, while boys are encouraged to play sports and become engrossed by
war play and technology. These images shape the ideas that little girls and boys have about who they should be
and what they can achieve.
There's nothing wrong with accepting gender roles or expectations
of beauty. The problem with these stereotypes is that they can cross
a line and become oppressive. If a doctor can cure the sick, what does
gender matter? If a guy or girl loves fashion, why should their body
measurements keep them from modeling down a runway? If a teacher
can educate a student, who are we to deny the pupil the right to learn,
solely on the grounds of the sex of his or her teacher? If a man wants to
cry, let him cry-- Men feel just as women do, and women are just as
strong. EVERYONE DEFINES BEAUTY. Choosing whether or not to follow
society’s expectations should be a personal choice, not something that
you feel society or tradition is forcing you to do. The best advice that can
be given is to make sure, above all else, that you are fulfilling a role you
want to be fulfilling or representing something you decide to represent,
regardless of where it fits in society's set of theoretical constructs.
In a world where Media plays a large role in creating
social norms, because various forms
of media are present almost
everywhere! From magazine ads to
the commercials we see on TV, our
world is flooded with images of men
and women socially designed to
appeal to the masses’ standard of
gender roles and beauty, but who
should really define the true beauty
of our identities?
Just Because I am…
Just because I am big-- doesn’t mean I don’t care
for people, doesn’t mean I don’t try hard enough
to reach my goals, doesn’t mean I have a lot of
friends—I am a person who thinks of others.
Just because I’m African American—doesn’t mean
I have short hair, doesn’t mean I talk a lot, doesn’t
mean I hate other cultures—I am an accepting
person.
Just because I am quite—doesn’t mean I cant stand
up for myself, doesn’t mean I am sneaky and steal,
doesn’t mean I can get my feelings hurt easily—I
am just a happy person.
Just because I can get a little crazy, doesn’t mean I
am stupid, doesn’t mean I can’t doanything for
myself, doesn’t mean I can’t think—I am a clever
person.
-Anonymous, 8th
grade Girls Group
The Media
Defines your Identity.

7. The Chill :: March 2015
7
Body
Image
Body image is defined by how you perceive your appearance
when you look in the mirror AND how you feel about your body.
People with negative body image see themselves as a
distorted image of who they really are. They feel awkward,
uncomfortable, ashamed and self-conscious. They are more
likely to develop an eating disorder, depression and low self-
esteem. People with positive body image see themselves as
they truly are. They appreciate their natural body and value its
uniqueness. People with positive body image also feel confident
and comfortable and have high self-esteem.
|Steps to a
Positive Body Image
uAppreciate all that your
body can do.
Everyday your body carries you closer to your dreams.
Celebrate all of the amazing things your body does for you –
running, dancing, breathing, laughing, etc.
vKeep a top- list of things you like
about yourself
– things that are not related to how much you weigh or what
you look like. Read your list often. Add to it as you become
aware of more things to like about you.
wRemind yourself that “true beauty”
is within.
When you feel good about yourself & who you are, you carry
yourself with a sense of confidence that makes you beautiful
regardless of whether you look like a supermodel. Beauty is
a state of mind, not a state of your body.
xLook at yourself as a whole person.
When you see yourself in a mirror or in your mind, choose
not to focus on specific body parts. See yourself as you want
others to see you!
yShut down those voices in your
head that tell you your body is not
“right” or that you are a “bad”
person.
You can overpower those negative thoughts with positive
ones. The next time you start to tear yourself down, build
yourself back up with quick affirmations that work for you.
|Become a critical viewer of social
& media messages.
Pay attention to images, slogans, or attitudes that make you
feel bad about yourself or your body. Protest these messages:
write a letter to the advertiser or talk back to the image or
message.
"WARNING#
Some signs that you or
someone you know might
have body image issues:
$Unhealthy eating habits
Obsession with body weight
and exercise
Continually criticizing and
self-bullying
Constantly comparing body
to others
80% of girls and young
women are concerned
about their body.
75% wish they were
thinner.
1 in 5 young men
say body image is
their #1 concern.
1/3 of guys want to be
thinner, 1/3 want
bigger muscles.

8. Where does Self-Esteem come from?
Different things make you feel good or bad about yourself. You might feel
good after doing well on a test or scoring the winning point in a game, for example. But
getting a low grade or missing a shot can make you feel bad and pretty low. So can
things like being ignored by a friend or even having a bad hair day. Learning how to
handle your ups and downs is one way to keep your self-esteem “up”
Appreciate your strengths!
Not everyone is good at the same things. We can’t all be geniuses or look
like models or be sports stars. But we’re all valuable in our own way. We
each have things that we’re good at.
Write down 3 of your strengths.
1. _____________________________________________________________
2. _____________________________________________________________
3. _____________________________________________________________
Cut this out and keep it in your wallet, tape it to your mirror, or
put it in your school binder. Read it whenever you need a lift!
"
How does
Self-Esteem
affect your
life?
Your self-esteem
can affect how
you feel, how you
relate to other
people, how you
deal with
challenges and
how relaxed and
safe you feel in
your daily life.
Here are a few
examples:
The way you feel.
In order to be happy you
need to like yourself. If you
have a low-self-esteem or if
you’re constantly putting
yourself down, you’re more
likely to feel depressed,
anxious or unhappy than
someone who has a positive
view of him or her self.
Your willingness to move
out of your comfort zone.
Trying new things and moving out
of your comfort zone every now
and then is important for growing
and developing as a person. Low
self-esteem might hold you back
from new experiences because
you may become overly
concerned with the possibility of
failure or looking stupid.
Your Relationships.
Low self-esteem can influence the way
you interact with other people. For
instance, you might find yourself not
saying what you think, feel or want and
doing things you don’t want to do. You
might always agree with others and offer
to do things for them in order to “earn “
their friendship. Being treated badly by
other people can reinforce the belief that
you aren’t good enough and lower your
self-esteem even more.
How relaxed & Comfortable
you feel in the world.
When your self-esteem is low, it can be
difficult to feel relaxed and comfortable in
everyday situations. For instance, if you
have low self-esteem, you might feel
awkward and self-conscious in many
situations. You might worry too much
about what others think of you, and you
might be constantly on the lookout for
signs that people don’t like you.

9. The Chill :: March 2015
9
Self-Esteem
1
!Focus on what goes well for you. Are you so
used to focusing on your problems that they're all you
see? Next time you catch yourself dwelling on problems
or complaints about yourself or your day, find something
positive to counter it. Each day, write down three good
things about yourself, and/or three things that went well
that day because of your action or effort.
!Aim for effort rather than perfection. Some
people get held back by their own pressure to be
perfect. They lose out because they don't try. If you think,
"I won't try out for the team because I probably won't
make it," you will always be the person sitting on the side
lines instead of getting in the game.
!View mistakes as learning
opportunities. Accept that you will make mistakes.
Everyone does. They're part of learning. Instead of
thinking, "I always mess up" remind yourself that it's not
about always, just this specific situation. What can you do
differently next time?
!Edit thoughts that get you feeling inferior. Do
you often compare yourself with others and come up
feeling less accomplished or less talented? Notice what
you're thinking. Something like: "She's so much better
than I am. I'm no good at basketball. I should just stop
playing" leads to feeling inferior, not to feeling good
about your self.
!Remind yourself that everyone excels at
different things. Focus on what you do well, and
cheer on others for their success. Thinking more like this:
"She's a great basketball player — but the truth is, I'm a
better musician than athlete. Still, I'll keep playing
because I enjoy it." helps you accept yourself and make
the best of the situation.
!Try new things, and give yourself
credit. Experiment with different activities and explore
your talents. Take pride in your new skills & think about
the good results. For example: I signed up for track and
found out I'm pretty fast! These positive thoughts become
good opinions of your self, and add up to self-esteem.
2
!Recognize what you can change and what you
can't. If you realize that you're unhappy with something
about yourself that you can change (like getting to a healthy
weight), start today. If it's something you can't change (like
your height), work on accepting it. Obsessing about our
"flaws" can really skew your opinion of yourself and bring
down your self-esteem. Most of the time, other people don't
even notice these things!
!Set goals. Think about what you'd like to accomplish.
Then make a plan for how to do it. Stick with your plan, and
keep track of your progress. Train your inner voice to remind
you of what you are accomplishing.
!Take pride in your opinions and ideas. Don't be
afraid to voice them. If someone disagrees, it's not a
reflection on your worth or your intelligence. That person just
sees things differently from you.
!Accept compliments. When self-esteem is low, it's
easy to overlook the good things people say about us. We
don't believe it when someone says a nice thing. Instead, we
think, "...yeah, but I'm not all that great..." and we brush off
the compliment. Instead, let your self absorb a compliment,
appreciate it, and take it seriously. Give sincere
compliments, too.
!Make a contribution. Tutor a classmate who's having
trouble, help clean up your neighborhood, or volunteer your
time in some other way. When you can see that what you do
makes a difference, it builds your positive opinion of
yourself, and makes you feel good. That's self-esteem.
!Relax and have fun. Do you ever think stuff like "I'd
have more friends if I were more attractive"? Thoughts like
these can set you on a path to low self-esteem because they
focus on what's not perfect instead of making the best of what
is. Spend time with the people you care about, do the things
you love, and focus on what's good. That helps you feel good
about yourself, just as you are.
Self-esteem is made up of the thoughts, feelings, and opinions we have
about ourselves. That means self-esteem isn't fixed. It can change,
depending on the way we think.
Over time, habits of negative thinking about ourselves can lower self-
esteem. Sometimes, people don't even realize that they're thinking so
negatively about themselves. But once you're aware of it, and know that the
way you think is up to you, you can begin to change the way you think. And
changing the way you think about yourself changes the way you feel about
yourself.
How to Build a Healthy Self Esteem

10. The Chill :: March 2015
10
v What qualities are important for a man to have? What
qualities are important in a woman?
v What does being a young man or a young woman
mean to you?
v Who is an Important Female or Male figure in your
life? How do they represent being a man or a woman?
Aye
Bruh!
Girls are so dramatic.
There is always something
up with my group of
friends. Why do girls love
drama?
-From, Save the Drama for your
Mama
Dear Save the Drama for your Mama,A lot of changes occur in a short period of time during
your tween and teen years. For the most part, girls don’t
mean to be dramatic and drama (such as instigating
fights, spreading rumors, friendship feuds) is usually
unintentional. The impulse girls have to create drama
stems from several sources: wanting a feeling of power,
fear of confrontation or not knowing how to honestly and
safely express anger, or taking something super-
personally. But girls aren’t the only ones to cause and
experience drama. Guys, and people of all ages for that
matter, are just as likely to be a part of drama at some
point in life. The best way to deal with friendship drama is
to “avoid fueling the fire”. Stop and THINK before you
speak. Instead, channel your energy into being a goodfriend yourself!
Before you speak, THINK:
“Is what I’m about to say…”
True
Honest
Important
Necessary
Kind . . . .??”
Make
someone
smile
today!
Free
Compliments
For You or a Friend.