1. My beloved
speaks and
says to me:
‘Arise,
my love,
my fair one,
and come
away;”
(Song of Solomon 2:10)
D E C E M B E R 2 0 1 4
Dear Faithful People of Good Shepherd:
Armies do it to escape from an enemy
when their positions are compromised .
People do it when they feel threatened by
danger or overwhelmed by stress. Faith
communities do it when they want to
connect with God and themselves in a
more intentional way. We the members
of the Good Shepherd Church family will
do it from Friday, March 20th
through
Sunday, March 22nd
. What we will do is
retreat.
Every member of Good Shepherd is
invited to join together on a journey into
God’s county for a time of intentional
spiritual formation and fellowship at
Camp Koinonia in picturesque Highland
Lake, New York.
For over 50 years Koinonia has provid-
ed a place for Lutheran congregations to
experience God’s rejuvenating presence.
Since our childhood Lisa and I have had
many transformative experiences at this
sacred place, and I want nothing more
than to share this treasure with all of you!
The name Koinonia is a Greek word
that describes the extraordinary gift of
fellowship and unity that we have to-
gether in Jesus Christ. Because of the
intensity of our day-to-day lives and the
stress which clings so tightly to us, it is
both wise and healthy to retreat to a
place where we can be free to be God’s
children first and foremost.
GOOD SHEPHERD LUTHERAN CHURCH & SCHOOL
CELEBRATING 63 YEARS IN GOD’S SERVICE
The conference center of Koinonia is com-
fortable and attractive, and the meals are nu-
tritious and delicious. Our time will include
study, prayer, song, games, worship, fellow-
ship, recreation and leisure. We will meet in
large and small groups, and there will also be
time to sit alone with God. This retreat is
completely inclusive of all members and is
intentionally intergenerational. At this time
I ask for you to please save the date. In our
next newsletter we will explain accommoda-
tion and transportation options and pricing.
There will also be financial need-based
scholarships available so that all who desire
to attend this special spirit filled weekend
may be able to do so.
As we enter into Advent and prepare to
celebrate the birth of Our Lord Jesus, let us
not allow the hustle and bustle of the season
to defeat us. Instead let us hear God’s voice
calling us to arise and retreat a little each day
and spend some time with our Lord. Let us
celebrate a little bit of koinonia here at Good
Shepherd at our midweek Advent potlucks
and worship gatherings. Let us think about
how we can be more intentional about feed-
ing our faith this New Year by setting aside
special time to heal and to be rejuvenated by
God’s grace… and don’t forget to save the
date!
Together in Jesus Christ,

2. In this time between Thanksgiving and Christmas the life of our Church and School is more
vibrant than ever. Our Church year has officially started on November 30th
with the season of
Advent. On Wednesday evenings at 6 p.m. our traditional Pot Luck Suppers will be followed
by our midweek Advent liturgy at 7:30 p.m. If you cannot participate in the midweek activi-
ties, maybe some can consider hosting one of Ethel’s Coffee Hours after the 10:15 a.m. liturgy.
I wish to thank our Stewardship Ministry Team for their outstanding efforts in conveying
the importance of Stewardship in our lives. Thank you to Bonnie McGowan, Terri Miccio,
and Bob Rickmeyer for their inspiring Temple Talks.
In preparation for Christmas we will be decorating the church on Saturday, December 13st
, after the
5:30 p.m. service. Our tree in the chancel will be decorated, and there will be refreshments in the narthex so
please consider spending an hour for some festive work in the church. Many thanks to the property team,
specifically John McGowan for coordinating the improved lighting system in the church—what a great im-
provement!
Finally, please take note of the outstanding work performed not only each day in the church office but
especially on the assembly of this monthly newsletter. Thank you, Maureen Cooke, for all you do towards
the betterment of our Church and School.
In Christ,
Kevin Ocker
Council President
It is December, Advent, a time of preparation for Christmas. How do you prepare?
What am I going to give my husband or wife? my children? my best friend? We think
about gifts a lot and try to choose something that says, “I love you.Youareimportantto
me.” We hope that we do not miss the mark and that our gifts will be received with
joy and love and thankfulness.
We also prepare by making lists or dropping hints about
what we would like to receive. Receiving that also brings joy
and love and thankfulness. Giving and receiving are related; one
does not happen without the other.
This Advent, as we prepare to give, let us remember that we are also the voice and
hands of God. Let us remember ministries to those in need so that they may experi-
ence the joy of knowing that God loves them even in their need. … And on Christmas
let us be thankful for the most precious gift that we receive, the new born, in us,
Christ Child.
- Submitted by Bob Rickmeyer
This Advent & Christmas season, why not make a joyful noise during wor-
ship? Choir members are wanted for the Advent & Christmas season only.
No experience needed. Join us on Wednesday evenings at 8:30 p.m., imme-
diately following our midweek Advent vespers. We will provide the music
and the robe! Please speak to either Teresa Ratkowski or to any current
choir member.
By the way...we also have great parties!

3. In October we were blessed to travel with a group from Trinity
Lutheran Church in Stillwater, MN to the rural Iringa Region of
Tanzania. Our trip included visits to two local orphanages and a
week of service work at Bomalang'ombe Secondary School
(BSS). BSS is a boarding school with over 300 students which is
operated by the Evangelical Lutheran Church in Tanzania
(ELCT). The school's operations are funded almost entirely
by financial gifts made by members of ELCA churches in the St. Paul
Synod.
During our visit to BSS we worked on a number of important
initiatives including creating and outfitting the school's first dispen-
sary and upgrading electrical and water systems. It was exciting to
work hand in hand with faculty and students on these projects. We
were also fortunate to be at BSS for graduation which included a full
day of dance and song as well as a visit from the Bishop of the ELCT's Iringa Diocese.
We would like to thank all of you who contributed medical supplies, clothing, costume jewelry and other
items. The two of us personally delivered four large duffel bags filled with these items to the orphanages and
BSS. Having now been to Tanzania we can really appreciate how big a difference these small items make to the lives
of the faculty and students.
Please feel free to speak with us if you are interested in learning more about the ELCA's extensive partnership
ministries in Tanzania. Numerous opportunities exist to support these important ministries both financially and
through hands on servant trips.
- Submitted by Tom& Dell-AnnBenson
Since Taize is always on the third Sunday evening of the month, Worship and Music has
been debating whether to hold a December Taize service. December 21 seemed problematic.
It is so close to Christmas. It’s a time when perhaps we are all a little crazed, struggling to
finish our decorating and baking, wrapping presents and finishing cards, finding last minute
gifts, and buying the food needed for our Christmas menus. And let’s not forget the house
cleaning needed as we welcome relatives and out-of-town guests. I am tired just thinking
about it! Isn’t Taize just one more thing to add to our Christmas stress?? Isn’t it just one more
thing we don’t have time for?
Thankfully, some worship team members countered about the beauty of the Taize setting
and how it would be even more so with the candles and the greens combined. We made the
decision…….let’s do it...but with misgivings.
And then last night happened—our November Taize. Hearing the reactions of the people
afterward convinced us we had made the right decision. Into the craziness of our rush toward Christmas comes a few
moments of quietness and centering called Taize.
One member told us how she didn’t even realize she was stressed until she felt it all drain from her. Others
talked about feeling centered and calmed; quieted and rested. Another member said going to the December Taize is
like giving yourself an early Christmas present……doing something for yourself in the midst of all the rushing.
So...we invite you to come and rest in God’s Presence, be filled and renewed in the quietness and peace, and go
away refreshed ready to celebrate once again the coming of the Prince of Peace.
- Submitted by Marge Wenger
Did you know that Amazon will donate 0.5% of the price of your eligible purchases to Good Shepherd whenever you
shop on AmazonSmile? All you do is type in www.Amazonsmile.com. It will ask whom you want to donate to. You
then type in Church of the Good Shepherd, Plainview, NY. You only need to do it once, and Good Shepherd will show
up every time. If you use Amazon as many of us do, the funds will add up. Happy shopping!

4. Thank you for submitting your order in a timely manner.
No orders can be accepted after 10:00 a.m. on December 15. This is a firm deadline.

5. December Altar Care: Diane Maisch
As we read last month, Martin Luther’s life changed dramatically on
that July night of 1505. Returning to Erfurt from a visit with his parents, the violent thunder-
storm he encountered was the pivotal event that not only changed his future, but also
changed the future of millions that followed him. Vowing to serve God if his life was spared
was a vow that he kept.
Two weeks after this event, Martin en- tered the Black Monastery in Erfurt, joining the
Augustinian Hermits, a strict order of Mendi- cant Monks. It was reported that his Father,
who wanted him to be a lawyer, was furious with him. But Martin persevered, and in July of
1506 Martin Luther took his monastic vows. A year later Martin began to study theology at
the University of Erfurt. While studying at the University, Martin learned the ideas of the
Humanists. He agreed with their slogan “Ad Fontes” – Back to the Source. For Luther this
meant the study of the Bible in its original Hebrew and Greek version. In 1507, he was or-
dained to the priesthood. During 1508 he taught at the new Wittenberg University,
but he returned to Erfurt the following year.
In January of 1511 Martin was invited to join a delegation of his Augustinian Order
for a month long visit to Rome. The 28 year old Luther’s visit was at the same time
that Michelangelo was painting the Sis- tine Chapel. Upon his return Martin went
back to Wittenberg and moved into the newly constructed Augustinian Cloister and
began teaching again at the University of Wittenberg. Soon after, at the age of 29 he
received his Doctor of Theology degree. He continued teaching at Wittenberg and is reported to have given lectures on the
Psalms (1514-15), the Letter to the Romans (1515-16), the Letter to the Galatians (1516-17), and the Letter to the Hebrews (1517-
18). During 1514 Martin became the priest for the Wittenberg’s City Church.
It is claimed that during this time Martin Luther struggled with his understanding of Religion. It is believed that his enlight-
enment occurred while studying the Letter to the Romans. He came to believe that people received justice through the grace of
God, not through works. “For in the gospel righteousness from God is revealed, a righteousness that is by faith from first to last,
just as it is written: “The righteous will live by faith.” (Romans 1:17)
A circle of theologians begins to form around Luther….. To be continued,
- Submitted by Jim Blewett
DATE SERVICE
ASSISTING
MINISTERS
LECTOR GUEST USHERS
ETHEL’S
COFFEE HOUR
December 7
Second Sunday of Advent
10:15 a.m.
John Schwaninger
Bonnie McGowan
Ellen Sangesland
Stacey & Barry
Liam, Quinn & Declan Broggy
Adriana Vollono
December 14
Third Sunday of Advent
10:15 a.m.
Terry Miccio
Christin Walsh
Cathy Vollono
Alice Vorstadt &
TBA
Worship & Music Team
December 21
Fourth Sunday of Advent
10:15 a.m.
Marilyn Benner
Marge Wenger
Anne Rickmeyer
Dean & Annmarie Brown
Sue Devine
Education Team
December 24
Christmas Eve
5:30 p.m.
11:00 p.m.
Kathy Ocker
TBA
Tom Benson
Terry Miccio
George Milhim
Dell-Ann Benson
N/A N/A
December 25
Nativity of Our Lord
10:15 a.m.
Marge Wenger
TBA
Ellen Sangesland N/A N/A
December 28
First Sunday after Christmas
10:15 a.m.
Christin Walsh
Kathy Ocker
Paul Hinsch
Jim & Wendy Jansky
John & Bonnie McGowan
Please consider sharing
your surplus Christmas
goodies!
Martin Luther
1505 - 1518

6. Wednesday Services
12/3, 12/10 & 12/17
Spoken Holy Eucharist
12:05 p.m. —12:25 p.m.
Advent Vespers @ 7:30 p.m.
Wednesday Pot Luck Dinners
6:00 p.m.—7:15 p.m.
12/3, 12/10-& 12/17
Bring a Dish/Enjoy a Dish!
Christmas Eve Celebrations
Wednesday, December 24th
5:30 p.m. & 11:00 p.m.
Christmas Day Celebration
Thursday, December 25th
10:00 a.m.
During Advent, we hear of Gabriel's startling announcement to
Mary and her resounding song of praise. The Magnificat echoes
through the ages, reminding us of the greatness, justice, and promises
of God. Our Wednesday Advent services will carry the theme of “My
Soul Magnifies the Lord.” Sincewe have only three Wednesdays in
this year’s Advent season, our fourth aspect will be addressed at the
Adult Education Hour and the Preacher’s Pub during the final week.
Following is each week’s overview:
Wednesday, December 3—Nothing will be Impossible
with God: God's redeeming power surprises us anew. Who
are we to doubt the impossible?
Wednesday, December 10—My Soul Magnifies the Lord: Mary responds
to Gabriel's message with an ecstatic song of praise. How do we respond to
God's call?
Wednesday, December 17—God has Brought down the Powerful and
Lifted up the Lowly: God's sense of justice overturns our human constructs.
In a world dominated by power and privilege, what does this "overturned jus-
tice" mean for us?
Thursday, December 18 & Sunday, Decem-
ber 21—According to the Promise: God's promises
are trustworthy and sure. Do we have the faith to
watch and wait for the promise to be fulfilled?
We will also be holding a 20-minute
Holy Eucharist service at 12:10 p.m.
on the three Wednesdays of Advent.
Our Advent Pot Luck Dinners will take place at 6:00 p.m. on Wednesdays,
12/3, 12/10 & 12/17 in the school gym before our
7:30 p.m. vespers service. Please bring a dish to share
with your church family.
Bring a dish…and enjoy a dish!
CONFIRMATION STUDENTS—PLEASE NOTE—
DURING THE MONTH OF DECEMBER, WE
WILL MEET IN THE SCHOOL GYM AT 5:30 P.M. INSTEAD OF
6:30 P.M. PLEASE CONSIDER STAYING AFTER CLASS TO PARTAKE
IN OUR ADVENT POT LUCK DINNERS AND MIDWEEK VESPERS.

7. Raise your reading score and comprehension level. It will
help with all subjects in or out of school. If you are a low-
level reader, I can help you. I have sixteen years’ experience
tutoring pre-K to adult, one-on-one in your home or mine. I
use the Orton Gillingham//Wilson method, a multi-sensory
approach to phonics. I charge on a sliding scale basis. Call
Ms. Helen @ (516) 557-2467.
March 20 - 22
Family Weekend Retreat
at Koinonia
More information
in January Newsletter
On Saturday, December 13th at 6:30 p.m., please plan to remain or stop by after worship to help with the Greening
of the Church. There are many tasks to be completed to transform our worship space from the Advent season to the
festive beauty of Christmas: assembling & hanging wreaths and bows; placing window candelabras and aisle candle
holders; decorating the tree; roping evergreens & hanging ornaments in the narthex; and hanging Crismons
(Christ Monograms) in the rear windows. Many hands make light work, so please lend yours. We’re making a
party of it! Please bring an appetizer and the Church will provide beer, wine & soft drinks. Pastor will be bringing
Glogg!
On Sunday, December 21, at 3:00 p.m., we are going Christmas Caroling! If you
know of anyone who might be cheered up by a caroling visit, please contact the
church office at 516-349-1966 or church@ourshepherdlives.org! Come one and all
to sing along with us! Please meet at the church & we will be on our merry way!
All are welcome.

9. Nicholas Augeri 12/8
Dr. Stanley Bartkow 12/30
Carol Berardino 12/25
Barry Broggy 12/4
Anthony Canino 12/10
James Caporuscio 12/9
Alexander Carrieri 12/1
Gisela Conforti 12/1
Nick DeFillipis 12/31
Alexandra Dumont 12/20
Jim Fassino 12/31
Diane Maisch 12/17
Jackson Mulada 12/23
Dillon Pech 12/14
Martha Peterson 12/4
Michaela Pietrofere 12/3
Isabelle Raba 12/9
Frank Sonnenberg 12/7
Debora Steinhilber 12/2
Christin Walsh 12/25
Margot White 12/17
Mary Wiegert 12/28
Baby’s First Christmas
Baby’s First Birthday
Daniel JamesWilinski III
First Anniversary
Christa & Stephen Contos
December 23

10. F O R T H O S E I N N E E D O F H E A L I N G
Roger Griffith & Nick Sollom
Maureen Kelly Araujo, Alex & Derek Bartkow, Eleanor Bierlmaier
Dugan, John Binsfeld (Benner family friend), Edwina Bishop, Troy
Braaten, Janet Brazel (Terry Miccio’s relative), Aiden Brown (former
members Audree & Bud Brown’s grandson), John & Eddie Brusde-
liens (J. Hinsch family friend), Jacie Capuano (Beatrice Haas’s friend),
Brad Carbone & family (R. Benson family friend), Lynn Carlson (Irma’s daughter-in-law), Carol Cassis
(Elaine Cassimatis’ mother), Ava Cataldo (GSL student), Gisela Conforti, Lorraine Couronis (Martha Peter-
son’s friend), Dorothy Cronin, Chris Cucci, Claudia DeMauro, Ryan DeVerna, Susan Dowd (Maisch family
friend), Brooke Ducey, Sally Ducey, Anna Duda (Denise Bartkow’s mother), baby Scarlett Duffy (Hickey/
McGowan family friend), Becky Ernst (Paul Wenger’s cousin), Mary Faccio (Helmers family friend), Ryan
Faret & family, Jim Fassino, Irene & James Fields (Vincent Cronin’s sister & nephew), Pat Froehlich (Peggy
Lang’s friend), Bob Giddings (Vorstadt family friend), Mary Gessing (Vincent Cronin’s cousin), Lilah & Jim
Gillett (Kathy Prinz’s friends), Eileen Greenfieldt (Griffin family friend), Tom Gucciardo (Olsen family
friend), Liz Haley, Thich Nhat Hanh, Hedy (GLS Teacher Barbara Valenza’s mother), Diane Helmers, Renee
Iannone (Irma Carlson’s niece), Alexis Jacobsen (GSL teacher LeeAnn’s daughter), Anna Jerome, Kurt Jun-
ker (Lori Mason’s friend), Robert Kamps (Lee family friend), Chris Kim (Yuna Jin’s friend), Ingrid Kraft
(Andrea Uzzo’s mother), Lisa Lamey (Lisa Olsen’s friend); Lois Lengenfelder, Christian Lakis, Kenneth
Lane, Martha Langjahr, Claire Larrie (Mary Wiegert’s sister), Angel Lorch, Kim Maca (Kathy Prinz’s friend),
Dottie Melillo (Kathy Prinz’s friend), Claire Mehrhoff (Alice Vorstadt’s friend), Henry Nacewicz, Jeanne
Neff (Mary Wiegert’s mother), Bill Oleschuk (GS Teacher Barbara Valenza’s father), Rose Oliver (Ellen Ben-
son’s friend), Don O’Neil (Olsen family friend), Meghan Ortega (Lisa Olsen’s niece), Robert Picciano, Bob
Podewils (Boy Scout leader), Nick Portugal (Liam Broggy’s friend), Dr. Mark Prowatzke (Danny Wenger’s
father in law), Lenore Rapp (Anthony Vollono’s sister), Nicole Richards (Karen Faucera’s friend), Justin
Rogers (Karin Kienle’s nephew), Glenn Schabel, Diane Sicca ( Debbie Garcia’s sister), Adam Sink (Judy Hin-
sch’s nephew), Bill Smith (Anthony Vollono’s brother in law), Ian Spadaro, Don Stevens (Patty Larson’s
friend), Nancy Stingelin, Ruth Strakele, Russell Striffler (Maisch family friend), Joyce Tare, Debbie Tassi
(Denise Donitz’s sister), Susan Tonnesson (Terry Miccio’s friend), Kay & Bob Van Stry (Dorothy Cronin’s
cousin), Kingsley Wright (Wenger family friend), Jeff Zenko (Karen Faucera’s friend), and Brother George
Zenle (Wenger family friend).
F O R T H O S E P R E P A R I N G
F O R O R D A I N E D M I N I S T R Y
Keith & Kyle Calderone (Army), Sgt Sean Hassett (Lori Mason’s cousin), Master Sgt. John Headle,
CPT. Paul Rickmeyer, Captain Robert Saueracker, LTC. Phillip Sounia, USMC, Corporal Nicholas Ven-
trelli-O’Connell (Patty Larson’s family friend).
F O R T H O S E
W H O A R E G R I E V I N G
F O R T H O S E S E R V I N G
I N T H E M I L I T A R Y

12. EVENT’S GOAL: Pack 300,000 food packets in order to feed 500 children
every day for one year. The food packets consist of rice, soy, dried vegetables and
seasoning mix. These meals are nutritionally balanced to prevent malnutrition. You,
along with hundreds of other volunteers, will pack the meals that will benefit people both locally and abroad.
THE EVENT: This is the fifth year Long Island Lutheran High School is organizing/hosting this event on their Brookville, NY campus.
It is open to all churches, religious denominations, youth groups, community organizations, schools, and businesses, scouting or other
groups, family or persons who want to participate. All ages are welcome, however, children under the age of 10 need to be accompanied
by a parent.
The packing event will take place on Sunday, April 19 through Tuesday, April 21 in the Visscher Gymnasium at Long Island Lutheran High
School. There will be day and evening packing sessions available each of the three scheduled days.
PARTICIPATION: The funds to purchase the food will come from donations like yours. Every $60 donated entitles one person to
take part in a 2-hour packing session. However, donations in any amount are gratefully accepted. Please note that a large percentage of
the packaged food will be used to feed children locally and 100% of all donations are used to purchase meal supplies.
A few notes about donations:
 ✛ Making a donation does not obligate you to take part in the meal packing.
 ✛ Donations of all sizes are encouraged and appreciated.
 ✛ Donors can choose to have contributions of $60 or more sponsor other persons who want to pack the food.
 ✛ Donations to Good Shepherd Lutheran Church must be received by February 1, 2015 to ensure delivery of dried food
in time for the packing event.
All participants and groups must pre-register. Please contact the church office at 516-349-1699 or church@ourshepherdlives.org by Sun-
day, February 1, 2015 if you would like to participate. Good Shepherd will be submitting a blanket registration on behalf of our group.
Your donations should be payable to Good Shepherd Lutheran Church, and we will forward only one check to Lutheran High School. Even
if you may not personally be able to commit the time and energy to this very important project, you can still support it by sponsoring or
contributing to help offset the donations of some who would like to participate, such as our confirmation students, some full families, and
some fiscally challenged congregation members. The $60 registration is for one person only, so if a family of four is willing and able to
participate, they would have to donate $240 on their own! Your gift of $60 would help offset their expense as it will register one person
for a two-hour session and would greatly help everyone’s ability to participate. Others may have the time, the heart, desire, and ability but
need the cash to participate! Your gift in any amount will be greatly appreciated.
PLEASE RESERVE YOUR PACKING SESSION THROUGH GOOD SHEPHERD LUTHERAN
CHURCH AS SOON AS POSSIBLE
We are working through the national organization Mano Amiga on this project. You may go to their website, www.manoamiga.net for
further information. .
This is going to be a HUGE EVENT but it can’t happen without PEOPLE LIKE YOU.
LuHi MEAL PACKING EVENT 2015
Your hands feeding hungry children
around the world and around the corner

20. UPDATE FOR DECEMBER 2014
WITH COUNSELING SITES LOCATED IN:
NASSAU SUFFOLK MANHATTAN QUEENS WESTCHESTER
Prepared especially for LCC Association Congregations & Schools
Well-Blended: Making the Holidays Work as a Divorced Family
By Susan Blayer, LCSW, M Div, LCC Psychotherapist
The term “blended family” refers to a family
made up of a primary adult couple along with
any children from their union and those from
previous relationships. While the logistical
and emotional issues of the holiday season
tend to be particularly challenging for these
types of family structures, there are ways to
mitigate some of common complications in or-
der to increase peace and joy.
Focus on the Children
Children of divorce are forced to deal with
changes they haven’t asked for and that were
often unexpected. The more the adults in
their lives can let go of their own expectations
and focus on how their children are feeling,
the more well-adjusted the new family unit
will be. This is especially true around the holi-
days, when many blended families are re-
minded of what they have lost. Have discus-
sions as a family about frustrations, disap-
pointments and hopes that come up this time
of year. Work together to try to brainstorm
creative ways to reduce stress and increase
the enjoyment of family time together.
Create New Traditions
Whether it is baking special cookies, decorat-
ing the house, or leaving carrots for Santa’s
reindeer, unique family rituals are an im-
portant part of a child’s development. Help
them prioritize what is really important about
the holidays—God, togetherness, love, creat-
ing memories, giving. Make a list of all of
their favorite things about the holidays—
laughter, presents, favorite foods, Christmas
Eve at church-- and then build new traditions
around them. One family I worked with was
initially having a hard time over “losing”
Christmas Day in the divorce agreement. One
of the children learned that in England, the
day after Christmas is actually a continued
celebration called “Boxing Day.” Everyone be-
came so involved in creating new traditions
around this extended Christmas holiday that
they ended up looking forward to it even
more than the old traditions they had to leave
behind. Another family started a ritual of
“Christmas Day Cocoa”—they intentionally
carved out time to relax and reflect on the
day over hot chocolate before the children left
for the other parent’s home to ease the tran-
sition from one family to the other.
Plan Ahead and Confirm Scheduling
Working out the details of complicated holiday
schedules ahead of time can make a world of
difference. If all parents and children are
clear about the “when’s, where’s and
how’s” (i.e., who is picking up/dropping off
whom, at what time, at which location) then
there is far less room for error, tension and
disappointment to make their way into your
holiday plans. Emailing a schedule to all, then
following-up with texts or phone calls to con-
firm weeks in advance has worked for many
families.
Stay Joyful & Full of Wonderment
Divorced parents may not be able to change
much of their situation (including confronta-
tional ex-spouses), but they do always have
control over their own behaviors. It takes
practice, but they can refuse to escalate con-
flict and actively work at keeping a mindset of
peace and joy. This is not only positive role
modeling for their children, but also, a great
way to live into what the holiday spirit is real-
ly all about.
Contact Lutheran Counseling Center at 1-
800-317-1173 or 516-741-0994 or e-mail
us at Center@lccny.org for more infor-