How English is a funny Language....

1. is
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2. There is no egg in the eggplant,
No ham in the hamburger
And neither pine nor apple in the
pineapple.
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3. English muffins were not
invented in England,
French fries were not
invented in France.
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4. * Quicksand takes you down slowly.
* Boxing rings are square.
*And a guinea pig is neither from
Guinea nor is it a pig.
What Paradoxes!
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5. * If writers write, how come fingers
don’t fing?
* If the past tense of ‘teach’ is ‘taught’,
why isn’t the past tense of ‘preach’
‘praught’ instead of ‘preached’?
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6. If a vegetarian eats vegetables,
what the heck does
a humanitarian eat?
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7. Why do people
recite at a play,
Yet play at a
recital?
Park on driveways
and
Drive on
parkways?
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8. How can the weather be as hot as
hell on one day
And as cold as hell on another?
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9. A house can burn up
as it burns down,
and you fill in a form
by filling it out.
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10. When the stars are out they are visible,
But when the lights are out they are invisible.
And why it is that when I wind up my watch
it starts,
But when I wind up this poem
it ends.
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11. If the plural of mouse is mice then why isn’t
the plural of house hice?
If the plural of man is always called men,
Why shouldn't the plural of pan
be called pen?
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12. If I spoke of my foot and showed you my feet,
When I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?
If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,
Why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth?
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13. If the singular is this, and the plural is these,
Why shouldn't the plural of kiss be kese?
Then one may be that, and three would be
those,
Yet the plural of hat would never be hose.
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14. The plural of box
is boxes;
But why should the
plural of ox be
oxen and not oxes?
One fowl is a
goose, but two are
called geese,
Yet the plural of
moose should
never be meese.
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15. We speak of a brother and also of
brethren,
But though we say mother, we never say
methren.
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16. The End
May we master English
without any fear or tear.
Hear! Hear!
With Metta,
Bro. Oh Teik Bin
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