1. Excerpted from “How a Good Person can Really Win”
By Pavan Choudary
POWER OF ASSERTIVENESS
The aggressive man feels that his needs are more important
than the needs of the other. He might have short term wins but
ultimately sets himself up for retaliation.
The Submissive man thinks that the other person’s needs
are more important than his. He lives the life of a victim and
is often treated as a door mat.
The assertive man knows that his needs are as important as
that of the other and both can be met. He gets win-win
outcomes and forges enduring alliances.
It is important to learn to talk assertively. It is an important
skill which will help you rise without trampling others.
ASSERTIVE TALK
Do Not
A) Use ‘YOU’
Statements
Do
Use ‘I’ Statements
e.g. − I felt embarrassed
e.g. – You
when you said that in
embarrassed me in
front of others.
front of others.
e.g. – You always
e.g. – I would like to talk

2. interrupt me.
B) Give Judgments
e.g. − This is a
lousy report.
without interruption.
Give Factual
Descriptions
e.g. − In your report the
actions points are
e.g. – If you don’t
missing. Also some
change your
statistics like population
attitude you will be
of the area, the division
in trouble.
it comes under etc. are
incorrect. Please correct
and pay greater attention
to detail in future.
e.g. − If you don’t send
your reports on time I
will need to take
disciplinary action
against you.
C) Sound Bombastic
Express thoughts,
opinions and feelings
reflecting ownership.
e.g. − The only
sensible strategy is
to go to the higher e.g. − I believe going to
the higher ups is the best
ups.
policy.

3. D) Be dictatorial or
tentative while
giving orders
e.g. − Why don’t
you join me
tomorrow for field
work
e.g. − Would you
mind giving your
analysis.
Say You
should…..
Say you have to…
Use direct
requests/directives/com
mands
e.g. − Will you
please/please join me for
field work tomorrow.
e.g. − Will you
please/please give your
analysis
Say Please do this….
Say Have this done…