2. The Character Ethic : primary traits
• Absolute principles that exist in all human beings.
• Principles have universal application. Techniques are
only valid for specific situations .
• Examples of such principles are fairness, honesty,
integrity, human dignity, equality, and justice.
3. Personality Ethic: secondary traits
• Personality Ethic are secondary.
• Secondary traits may help one to play the game to succeed
in specific circumstances
• Ex. Skills, techniques, maintaining a positive attitude, etc
• Long term success requires both.
4. The Maturity Continuum
we cooperate to achieve something that
Interdependence
cannot be achieved independently.
Independence
we make our decisions and take
care of ourselves
Dependence
relying upon others to take care of us
5. Paradigm Shift
You could say:
(half-full) OR (half-empty).
Both are right – its only the perception.
The way we see the problem is the problem.
Problems, at times, could be opportunities
If you want small change, work on your behavior; if you want
quantum-leap changes, work on your paradigms
6. Excellence
“Excellence
is an art won by training and
habituation.
We are what we repeatedly do.
Excellence, then, is not an act, but a
habit”
8. Interdependence
Seek First to
Understand
… Then to be
Understood
Synergize
PUBLIC
VICTORY
Think Win/Win
Independence
Put First
Things First
PRIVATE
VICTORY
Be
Proactive
Begin with
the End in Mind
Dependence
12. Circle of influence
Proactive Focus
Circle of Concern
Reactive Focus
Circle of Influence
Where do you focus your time and energy?
• Proactive people focus their efforts in the Circle of Influence.
• Reactive people focus their efforts in the Circle of Concern.
13. HOW PROACTIVE AM I?
. . . the degree to which I take initiative to improve
my current circumstances or create new ones.
15. The Final image
• To begin with the end in mind is to begin with the
image of the end of your life as the frame of reference
by which everything else is measured.
• We may be busy, we may be efficient, but we will only
be effective if we begin with the end in mind.
16. Mission Statement
• A powerful document that expresses your
personal sense of purpose and meaning in life.
• It acts as a governing constitution by which you
evaluate decisions and choose behaviors.
17. What’s your life center ?
• Our deepest center
•
• Work
• Family
• Husband
• Friend
• Enemy
• Self
• Pleasure
• Possessions
• Money
18. Security
The four life-supporting factors
CENTER
Sense of worth, self esteem &
personal strength
Guidance • GUIDANCE
Source of direction in
life
• WISDOM Perspective on life
Power
Wisdom
• SECURITY
• POWER Decision making ability
19. Be principle centered... Why?
• Creating a solid changeless core, from which flow the four
life-support factors.
• Correct principles do not change. And principles are applied
to all If they realize or not.
• A principle-centered puts his values and principles higher
than emotions.
• Have balance between different alternate centers.
21. Two Factors to Define Any Activity
• Urgency - An activity is urgent if you or others feel that it
requires immediate attention.
• Importance - An activity is importance if you personally
find it valuable, and if it contributes to your mission
values, and high-priority goals.
22. Time Management Matrix
Urgent
Important
2
4
Exam tomorrow
Friend gets injured
Late for work/class
Project due today
Planning, goal setting
Paper due in a week
Exercise
Relationships/relaxation
Non-Important
1
3
Not Urgent
Unimportant phone calls
Interruptions
Other people’s small
problems
Much mail
Too much TV
Endless phone calls
Excessive computer
games
Say no to Q4
Delegate Q3
24. Not urgent but Important (Attach to mission)
Activities
Results
• Prevention of problems
• Vision
• Relationships building
• Balance
• Recognizing new opportunities
• Discipline
• Planning recreation
• Control
• Few crises
25. Urgent but Not Important (Distraction)
Activities
Results
• Interruptions, some calls
• Some mail, some reports
• Some meetings
• Popular activities
• Short-term focus
• Crisis management
• Feel victimized, out of control
• Broken relationships
26. Not Urgent & Not Important (Time wasters)
Activities
• Trivia
• Some mail
• Some phone calls
• Time wasters
• Pleasant activities
Results
• Dependent on others
• Total irresponsibility
• Fired from jobs
27. Become a self manager in (Q2)
1. Identify roles: (Individual/Parent/Manager/Teacher/….)
2. Selecting goals: related to Q2 activities and to your mission statement.
3. Schedule: selecting time to perform the actions needed to achieve
goals.
4. Daily adapting: everyday review to your schedule
29. The emotional bank account
The amount of trust built up in a relationship
The feeling of safeness that makes
communication easy, instant and effective
Problems create the opportunity to build a
deep relationship
30. Six major deposits
1.Understanding person: uncover the deep need,
treat him according to it.
2.Attending the little things: don’t underestimate
little kindness or courtesies.
3.Keeping commitments: keep your promises or
explain situation and ask to be released.
31. Six major deposits
4. Clarify expectations: Conflicts arise form ambiguous
expectations about roles and goals .
5. Show your personal integrity: show loyalty to the
absent people to build trust with the present people.
6. Apologize sincerely when you make a withdrawal:
gentle manner is only expected from strong people.
33. Two different perceptions
Scarcity
Abundance
There’re limited opportunities. Limited
There’s enough success for me and
(amount) of success. I must take success
for every one who desire success.
for myself regardless the others.
If I succeeded the others should fail.
If They succeeded I would fail too.
Life is a zero game.
I can succeed as the others can too.
Life is cooperative.
35. 1. Win/Win
• Seeks for mutual benefit
• Sees life as cooperative, not competitive
• There’s plenty for everybody
• Believes in the third alternative
• Listens more, stays in communication longer, and
communicates with more courage.
36. 2. Win/Lose
• People with this mindset are concerned with themselves first and last.
• They want to win, others to lose. They succeeds at the expense of the
others.
• They are driven by comparison, competition, position, and power.
• Have low trust of the other people.
• Is the authoritarian approach.
37. 3. Lose/Win
• They choose to lose and let others win. Show high
consideration for others, but lack the courage to express
their opinions.
• Strength from public acceptance.
• They’re quick to please or appease.
• Buries a lot of feelings.
38. 4. Lose/Lose
• People who have a lose-lose paradigm are low on courage and
consideration.
• They envy and criticize others.
• They put themselves and others down.
• Is the mindset of a highly dependent person.
• Is a long-term result of a win-lose, lose-win, or win.
39. 5. Win
• They are personally set on winning. Although they don’t
necessarily want others to lose.
• They think independently in interdependent situations,
without sensitivity or awareness of others.
• Is self-centered. Thinks “me first”.
• Has a Scarcity Mentality”.
40. 6. WinWin or No deal
Win-Win or No Deal is the highest form of win-win.
People who adopt this paradigm seek first for win-win. If they cannot
find an acceptable solution, they agree to disagree agreeably.
• Allows each party to say no.
• They have high consideration for others plus high courage to
express their opinions.
43. Four common levels for listening
1. Ignoring: Making no effort to listen
2. Practice pretending: Making believe or giving the appearance
you are listening .
3. Practice selective listening: Hearing only the parts of the
conversation that interest you.
4. Attentive listening: Paying attention and focusing on what the
speaker says, and comparing that to your own experiences.
44. Principles of Empathic Communication
Fifth level: Empathic listening (most effective level):
• Requires high levels of consideration
• Deep understanding of the problem first
• Requires more than practicing listening techniques
• It’s listening with intent to understand (changing our
perceptions).
45. Then seek to be understood
• Requires high level of courage
• Equally critical in reaching win/win solutions.
47. Synergy
• Deeply understanding each other becomes the stepping
stones to synergy
• Synergy means that the whole is greater than the sum of its
parts
• One plus one equals three or more. (1+1≥ 3)
• Identifying a third synergistic alternative/solution that will
be better for everyone concerned.
48. Value the differences
Synergy encourages people to respect differences between them,
and see them as opportunities for learning.
The differing opinions of others and their viewpoints, perspectives,
talents and gifts are valuable when seeking solutions.
These differences enable you to discover and produce things
together that you would much less likely discover and produce
individually
52. Process of renewal
• Renewal is a daily process to refresh our nature.
• Renewal is helping us to keep on track.
• Renewal needs time to be assigned (in Q2).
• Renewal is considered as an investment in
ourselves.
53. The four dimensions of renewal
PHYSICAL
Exercise, Nutrition,
Stress Management
SOCIAL
Service, Empathy,
Synergy, Intrinsic
Security
MENTAL
Reading, Visualizing,
Planning, Writing
SPIRITUAL
Value Clarification &
Commitment, Study
& Meditation
54. Physical renewal
• Care about your body by having good nutrition.
• Have enough relaxation and sleep.
• Exercise regularly.
55. Spiritual renewal
• Spiritual dimension is the core of your principles. And connects
you with all absolute facts in life.
• You should keep your prays, read Quran.
• Read inspiring books. Observe the universe. Look to creatures.
Leave all distractors.
56. Mental renewal
• Stop wasting time in TV movies. Watch documentaries, learning
shows. Choose what you watch.
• Read books . Literature, history, science, self development, ….etc.
• Write dairies. Take notes. Write your thoughts.
57. Social (emotional) renewal
• Doesn’t need special time. Make this through your daily
communication with people.
• Apply the public victory habits. Deal Winwin. Understand your
partner first. Accept his difference and cooperate with him.
58. The Upward Spiral of Growth
• Success is a long
journey, not a
destination
• “ A thousand-mile
journey begins with
the first step”. And
can only be taken one
step at a time.
60. Paradigm shifts – change your life
Habit
Change from
To
Be proactive
I’m a product of environment
I’m a product of my choices and actions
Begin with the end
in mind
Society is the source of values
Values is chosen and provide base for
decisions
But first things first
Being slave to the urgent matters
comes from environment
I prioritize my works according to its
importance and my mission statement
Think winwin
I must take success before others
I can succeed with others
Seek first to
understand
Strike and run. And compromise in
case of conflict
Empathic communication to understand
others for solving problems
Synergize
Difference is threat. Independence is
the highest value. 1+1=2
Diverse is advantage. Interdependence is
the highest value 1+1 is bigger than 2
Sharpen the saw
Typical work – burn on the same track
Continuous self improvement and renewal
الهبات الإنسانية الأربعة1- الادراك الذاتي: أن لي حرية اختيار رد الفعل على أي مؤثر خارجي2-الخيال: تصور حدوث أشياء لم تحدث بعد وتأثيراتها.3- الضمير: الإحساس بالمبادئ ، وادراك الصحيح من الخاطئ. واتساق أفعالنا مع هذه المباديء.4-الإرادة الحرة: في اختيار رد الفعل السليم بغض النظر عن المؤثر.
من مركز دائرة التأثير تتكون التصورات الرئيسية، والقيم. هنا نختبر خرائطنا الذهنية وصحة مبادئنا
الارشاد : مرجعية الحياة ومصدر التوجه، الحكمة: منظور الحياة والتوازن وفهم المباديء وربطها ببعضها. القدرة على الفهم والتقييم وإصدار الاحكام. القوة : القدرة على التصرف والطاقة للتنفيذ والتغيير وإنجاز العمل
SECURITYSense of worth, self esteem & personal strength GUIDANCE Source of direction in lifeWISDOM Perspective on lifePOWER Decision making ability الارشاد : مرجعية الحياة ومصدر التوجه، الحكمة: منظور الحياة والتوازن وفهم المبادئ وربطها ببعضها. القدرة على الفهم والتقييم وإصدار الاحكام. القوة : القدرة على التصرف والطاقة للتنفيذ والتغيير وإنجاز العمل
Square 2 is the heart of the effective one.
They’re worst than Win\lose people – they could be considered as their preys – the Win\lose people like the lose\Win ones
The interaction between two Win\Lose people. they become stubborn and seek vengeance. They might thought that if all are losers then lose is not a big deal.
The most Important Habit in interpersonal relations