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CHAPTER-12
CONVERSATION
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CONVERSATION
Conversing is an art. It has to be worked on consciously. The more you practice, the
better it becomes. It is usually more difficult for those who are more quiet or
reserved.
Conversation has two distinct parts – talking and listening.
Talking
When you initiate a conversation, initiate it on a topic the other person is interested in
– one that he is passionate about. Your role would be to ask question. The more he
talks, the more he feels he had a great conversation. It is ironic but a good listener
who asks the right questions at the right time and looks interested is always
considered as a great conversationalist.
There are several topics you should try and avoid while conversing as it can create
controversy:
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• Gossip
• Criticizing others especially colleagues.
• Religious topics.
• Politics.
• Long personal anecdotes.
• Stories with sexual undertones.
You should also not been seen to be prying.
In order to converse you have to prepare. You should know what is happening around
you. Therefore it is important that you read the newspaper, important business or
other magazines and good books. While reading, remember to read deeply into
subjects so that when they are discussed you can make worthwhile contributions.
Other than that read on your interests – these can be sports, the
occult, spiritualism, philately or anything else. If you can talk interestingly on the
subjects of your interest, you would be regarded as an interesting conversationalist.
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Apart from reading you should know of concerts and plays in the city, art exhibitions
and other events and make a point of attending them.
Try to do and say only those things that will be agreeable to others.
When someone is making a point or sharing his views you should not cut him short to
give your opinion.
At no conversation should you comment on another person – on their clothes, their
looks (or the lack of it), their posture or the way they talk.
There can be times when you need to compliment someone. Do so with sincerity and
grace. People like to be complimented.
Similarly there are times you need to congratulate. Here again, these must be without
embellishments and must be sincere.
You may also receive a compliment – When you do, your response should be
“Thank You” Or
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“Thank you. I appreciate your support.”
Accept a compliment gracefully and graciously..
Whenever you converse you should remember that you are projecting an image – of
your employer and yours. That image can create, maintain, strengthen or break
relationships.
When you speak listen, laugh, smile and use body language and gestures to
encourage the other person to talk, show that you are interested.
When you need to close a conversation and move on to meet someone else. Close a
conversation gracefully –
“Could you excuse me for a moment?”
“It has been so nice speaking with you. I will see you later.”
“It is so nice to have met you. Would you excuse me?”
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You should not excuse yourself by saying that you would like to meet someone else as
that would suggest the other person is more important.
If while you are talking with someone you notice that another person is keen to join
your conversation then you should step back and invite that person to join you.
This can be done entirely by gestures. Once the person has joined the group and
joined into the conversation you can move on.
Listening
Listening is an important part of etiquette and of conversation – listening to what
another has to say. If you listen and let others talk, they will like you and believe
that you are a good conversationalist. We should listen twice as much as we talk.
To listen more effectively you should:
• Repeat in your mind, word for word what the other person is saying.
• Maintain eye contact with the speaker.
• Face the speaker with your body.
• Do not speak until the other person has completed what he has to say.
• If in doubt paraphrase or summarize what has been said.
• Ask questions. We Learn – A Continuous Learning Forum