This document provides tips for managing impressions with different types of people. For the trust lens, it recommends projecting warmth by maintaining eye contact, smiling, paying attention, showing empathy, and being affirming. It also recommends conveying competence by highlighting accomplishments and avoiding overconfidence. For the power lens, it advises aligning goals, showing your value, providing rationales, and building coalitions. For the ego lens, strategies include distancing to reduce threats, creating a sense of shared identity, and being modest and affirming. The overall goal is tailoring your approach based on whether the other person's lens is focused on trust, power, or ego.
10. Being Trustworthy
1. Do you have good intentions toward me -- Are you my
friend or foe?
Warmth – friendliness, loyalty, empathy
2. Do you have what it takes to act on those intentions?
Competence – intelligence, skill, effectiveness
12. Projecting Warmth
• Don’t signal warmth directly..
“Hi. My Name is Zubair Azam, and I mean you no Harm”
• Signal you warmth more indirectly.
• When people try to appear warm, they often give complements, perform
favors, show interest in perceiver’s thoughts and feelings.
• They try to display qualities like kindness, sincerity, empathy,
and friendliness.
26. Show Empathy
Just Listen and ask
open-ended
Questions
Don’t be
Judgmental
Acknowledge both
your and other
people’s feelings
Use superfluous
apology
Acknowledge their
contribution /
success
27. Trust them First
Principle of
Reciprocity
Ask their opinion
Ask for their
help
Share Personal
Stories of
Vulnerability
Have
lunch/smoke/tea
together
Build family
relationship
31. Two key research findings about trust
Being warm does NOT make you appear less competent!
You don’t have to get mushy…
Being Principled, Fair, Transparent, and Loyal are also
indicators of warmth.
32. Conveying Competence
• Many of strategies people advise to appear competent are quite
obvious…
Highlight your accomplishments and experience
Be self-assured
Avoid defensiveness
Make Eye Contact
37. What is Power?
Ability to Exert Influence….
Making someone do things you want done and they way
you want ‘em done.
• Used when there is a disparity of power especially
• When perceiver has more than you do.
• Common expression is “Prove yourself useful to me, or get out of
my way.”
38. What makes them Powerful?
Position power.
• Derives from organizational
sources.
• Reward power.
• Coercive power.
• Legitimate power.
Personal Power
• Expert Power
• Referent Power
• Information Power
39. How Power Changes People
Powerful People
feel responsible
All Eyes are on
them
Power
Stimulates the
brain
Power Keeps
You Going
High Risk Taking Better Liars and
Cheaters
40. Making impression on Powerful
Align your goals
with them Don’t Flatter
Show
Instrumentality
Provide Reason Build Coalition
43. Strategies Egoistic people use to reduce Threat
• Strategy 1: My Apple is still better than your apple
• Strategy 2: Aren’t our apples great?
• Strategy 3: That’s not MY Thing.
• Strategy 4: Avoidance
Reduce
Relevance and
Closeness
Create sense
of US
Be Modest Be Affirming
44. Tips to Follow… Summary
Trust Lens
• Project
Warmth
• Convey
Competency
Power Lens
• Align your
goals with
them
• Show
Instrumentality
• Provide reason
• Build Coalition
Trust Lens
• Stay Away
• Be part of their
group
• Be Modest and
Affirming
