Welcome to the Brainfuse Writing Lab! Our overview comments and recommendations about specific parts of your paper are included in the tutor response form. A copy of your paper is also posted below this form, and it includes additional comments in brackets. Please feel free to resubmit your paper for further review after using our comments and suggestions to make the recommended changes. If you have additional questions, you can direct them to [email protected]. Thank you for choosing the Brainfuse Writing Lab, and best wishes with your revisions! Rasmussen College Submission Tutor Response Form Part 1 – Overview · Thank you for using the Brainfuse writing lab! This paper does a good job of explaining that you believe mandatory sentencing should be continued. However, there are a few places where I feel you could expand a little or be a bit more specific, and I think you could add a bit to your conclusion. There are also some points where your argument is confusing, and your inclusion of sources is hard to follow. Also, there are a few grammatical and structural issues in the paper. Please see the sections bellow for more specific comments. Part 2 – Main Idea/Thesis · Here is what I believe to be your current thesis statement: · “Mandatory Sentencing takes away the bias of considering the circumstances involved when arriving at the sentence against the specific crime.” · Great work here, this strongly sums up the main point about mandatory sentencing. However, this is normally the last sentence in an intro, and it would be a good idea to add a bit here. How does it take away this bias, and why is this a good thing in your opinion? Part 3 – Introduction and Conclusion · Your intro does a great job of giving some background on mandatory sentencing and stating your thesis. However, as stated above, your thesis is usually the last sentence and you could elaborate a bit on it. Also, this paragraph is a bit short in general. Try to provide a bit more background on the article you mention and your overall topic here. · Your conclusion does a good job of wrapping things up and bringing the paragraph to a close, and you also strongly restate your thesis. However, it is a bit brief. To be thorough, be sure to recap and remind the readers why you are taking this side. Part 4 – Development · You do a good job arguing in favor of mandatory sentencing here, but some parts of this paper are a bit confusing. It is a little hard to tell what side you are taking at first, so be sure to be clear in your phrasing and statement of what you mean. Also, make sure to site all the quoted material you use and be clear in your quoting. Finally, try and provide background for all your points. How is this system synonymous with justice? Why is it so good? Can you provide some examples where it has worked or where it could have saved lives or prevented crimes? Part 5 – Organization · This paper has a strong thesis, and your body paragraphs work well togeth.

1. Welcome to the Brainfuse Writing Lab!
Our overview comments and recommendations about specific
parts of your paper are included in the tutor response form. A
copy of your paper is also posted below this form, and it
includes additional comments in brackets. Please feel free to
resubmit your paper for further review after using our comments
and suggestions to make the recommended changes. If you have
additional questions, you can direct them to [email protected].
Thank you for choosing the Brainfuse Writing Lab, and best
wishes with your revisions!
Rasmussen College Submission
Tutor Response Form
Part 1 – Overview
· Thank you for using the Brainfuse writing lab! This paper
does a good job of explaining that you believe mandatory
sentencing should be continued. However, there are a few
places where I feel you could expand a little or be a bit more
specific, and I think you could add a bit to your conclusion.
There are also some points where your argument is confusing,
and your inclusion of sources is hard to follow. Also, there are a
few grammatical and structural issues in the paper. Please see
the sections bellow for more specific comments.
Part 2 – Main Idea/Thesis
· Here is what I believe to be your current thesis statement:
· “Mandatory Sentencing takes away the bias of considering the
circumstances involved when arriving at the sentence against
the specific crime.”
· Great work here, this strongly sums up the main point about
mandatory sentencing. However, this is normally the last

2. sentence in an intro, and it would be a good idea to add a bit
here. How does it take away this bias, and why is this a good
thing in your opinion?
Part 3 – Introduction and Conclusion
· Your intro does a great job of giving some background on
mandatory sentencing and stating your thesis. However, as
stated above, your thesis is usually the last sentence and you
could elaborate a bit on it. Also, this paragraph is a bit short in
general. Try to provide a bit more background on the article you
mention and your overall topic here.
· Your conclusion does a good job of wrapping things up and
bringing the paragraph to a close, and you also strongly restate
your thesis. However, it is a bit brief. To be thorough, be sure
to recap and remind the readers why you are taking this side.
Part 4 – Development
· You do a good job arguing in favor of mandatory sentencing
here, but some parts of this paper are a bit confusing. It is a
little hard to tell what side you are taking at first, so be sure to
be clear in your phrasing and statement of what you mean. Also,
make sure to site all the quoted material you use and be clear in
your quoting. Finally, try and provide background for all your
points. How is this system synonymous with justice? Why is it
so good? Can you provide some examples where it has worked
or where it could have saved lives or prevented crimes?
Part 5 – Organization
· This paper has a strong thesis, and your body paragraphs work
well together. Just try expanding on some of the shorter ones,
and consider adding a bit more to your intro and conclusion for
the final draft.
Part 6 – Style
· There are a few grammatical issues in this paper. Watch out
for run-ons and sentence fragments, and places where
punctuation is either needed or unnecessary. There are also a
few sections where your tenses don’t agree. For more detailed
grammatical feedback, please resubmit for a grammar review.

3. · Your in-text citations only need to be the author name and
date if you are using APA, and the author name and page
number for MLA. You don’t need to include the entire citation
in-text. Your References section appears to be a combination of
MLA and APA, and it is not in alphabetical order. Be sure to
double-check and see how your citations need to be noted. For
more information on the citations in this or future papers, see
the links to style guides provided in this document.
Part 7 – Grammar, Usage, and Mechanics
Please use The Brainfuse Essential Grammar Guide to identify
and edit errors in grammar, usage, and mechanics. You can view
the guide by clicking on this link below and logging in to
Brainfuse:
http://www.brainfuse.com/curriculumupload//1381694219673.ht
ml
If you would like specific feedback on your grammar, usage,
and mechanics, please resubmit your paper and request a
“Grammar Review.”
Part 8 – APA Formatting
Ask your instructor for more information on the formatting that
is required for this paper. If you need to follow all aspects of
APA formatting, please review the requirements listed below.
For more information on APA guidelines, please go to:
http://guides.rasmussen.edu/apa
· Title Page: This page should include the running head, full
title, your name, and the name of the college that you attend.
Make sure to center your full title, name, and college.
· Page Numbering: Add page numbers to the top, right-hand
corner of each page.
· Running Head: Add a version of the title to the header of each

4. page. The letters should all be capitalized, and there should be
no more than 50 characters.
· Abstract:
· Start the abstract on a new page after the title page and
include the page header. The header on all pages after the title
page should no longer contain the words “Running head.” It
just lists the title of the paper.
· On the first line of the page, center the word “Abstract” (no
bold, formatting, italics, underlining, or quotation marks).
· The abstract is a double-spaced, single paragraph of 150–250
words. The paragraph is not indented. Summarize the key
points of the paper including the research topic, research
questions, participants, methods, results, data analysis, and
conclusions.
· In-Text Citations: All data, indirect quotes, direct quotes, and
ideas from other sources need an in-text citation. You can
follow this format.
· (Smith, 2003, p.100)
· Smith (2003) formulated this hypothesis: “…….” (p.100)
· References:
· The word “References” (no quotations) is centered at the top
of a new page and is not bolded, italicized, or underlined.
· References are listed in alphabetical order by the author’s
name.
· Every line after the first of each entry is indented.
· This page is double-spaced just like the rest of the paper.
· Capitalize only proper nouns and the first word of the
title/subtitle of a chapter in a book
· Put the titles of books in italics
· Provide the issue number for periodicals that are paged by
issue
· Do not put the name of a chapter in italics
· Do not put the edition number of a book in italics.
· Provide page numbers for print articles.
Information that follows deals with referencing website material
both on the references page and in internal citations.

5. APA References Page
Below is a standard format for APA reference page entry of a
website. Notice that the title of the document has only the first
word capitalized and is italicized. Also note that there is no
period after the web address
Generic web page:
Author, A. A., & Author, B. B. (Date of publication). Title of
document. Retrieved
from http://Web address
Note that date of publication is different from the date you
retrieved the information. Look for a copyright or other line of
date. If none is available, put (n.d.) in the parentheses for no
date.
If an author is not listed, begin with the title of the entry
followed by the date in parentheses.
Blog:
Note that if an author is not available, begin with the title of
entry followed by the date in parentheses. If no date is given
(unlikely for a blog) you would use (n.d.). The phrase [Web log
comment] just like that is the term used for a blog. Other
options in those brackets could include [Video file] or [Power
point presentation] as applicable.
Author, A. A. (year, month day). Title of entry: Not every word
capitalized. [Web log
comment]. Retrieved from http://www.etc.org
Collaborative Websites (Wikis):
Title of document. (n.d.). Retrieved Month day, year from the
Name of Wiki:
http://wiki.address.org//etc

6. APA Internal Citations
The standard format for any internal citation is (Author, year).
In the text, you may use the general format: Kenneth (2000)
explained...
Unknown Author and Unknown Date: If no author or date is
given, use the title in your signal phrase or the first word or two
of the title in the parentheses and use the abbreviation "n.d."
(for "no date").
Example: Another study in higher education contexts finds that
students achieve greater success with tutoring ("Tutoring,"
n.d.).
When referencing direct quotations, page numbers are normally
used for most source types. However, do not use page numbers
for website quotations. (Pagination will change depending on
individual computers and browsers.) Instead, refer to a
paragraph number or heading section and paragraph number.
Use the abbreviations “para.” and the number (“Tutoring,” n.d.,
para. 6). Or for longer website texts broken into sections
(“Tutoring,” n.d., Higher Education, para. 6).
Additional Comments
I have also added specific comments to select paragraphs in
your paper. You will find them in brackets below.
Mandatory Sentencing for Certain Crimes
Mandatory Sentencing takes away the bias of considering the
circumstances involved when arriving at the sentence against
the specific crime. This article discusses the advantages of
“Mandatory Sentencing” on the basis of “Mandatory
Sentencing” being impartial, “Mandatory Sentencing”
incapacitating the offenders by locking them up and the

7. financial gains to state by keeping special category offenders
locked up in prison. *[Good thesis here, but this is a bit brief.
Why do you choose this as your main idea, and what important
info is in this article?]
Keywords: Mandatory Sentencing, Probation, and Special
category offenders.
Justice is defined as the proper administration of the law, the
fair and equitable treatment of all individuals under the law.
Mandatory Sentencing is strictly in accordance to the tenets of
the law, prescribing pre-defined sentences to specific crimes
and removing any bias involved in assessment of the case.
*[This is a bit brief. You may want to provide a bit more
explanation here. How is it that this goes hand in hand with
justice?] It is well known that “Power Corrupts and Absolute
Power Corrupts Absolutely”. The shortcomings of the unlimited
sentencing discretion of Judges, well documented sentencing
disparities in factually similar cases, led to the birth of
“Mandatory Sentencing”. Although not all sentencing discretion
was withdrawn from judges but for some specific crimes the
court was required to impose a mandatory minimum sentence.
Today, the majority of convictions under statutes carrying
mandatory minimum penalties relate to controlled substances,
firearms, identity theft, and child sex offenses. (Executive
Summary, Report to the Congress: Mandatory Minimum
Penalties in the Federal Criminal Justice System, Oct 2011)
*[Good info here! But why is this underlined? Also, be sure to
put punctuation inside of quotation marks.] “Mandatory
Sentencing” is not applicable to all crimes but only to select
few serious crimes where the best available option is to keep the
offender locked up in the prison. Mandatory Sentences are
enacted by legislators who have never seen the offender and
“Mandatory Sentencing” does not differentiate between
individuals removing the bias in judging a specific crime and
making “Mandatory Sentences” completely impartial. *[This is
good but a bit brief. Can you provide some examples of a time
when it is fair? Maybe real case studies, or a hypothetical

8. scenario that you make up?]
“Mandatory Sentencing” ensures that the punishments for
certain crimes are uniform across and the punishment is linked
to the crime, not to the individual.
The knowledge that committing the crime will result in
increased and severe “Mandatory Sentencing” surely acts as a
deterrent to the offenders. The threat of jail time and higher
penalty conveyed through the concept of “Mandatory
Sentencing” serves its basic purpose of acting as a
deterrent.*[This is a bit brief, consider combining it with the
advantage bellow.]
There is one more distinct advantage of “Mandatory
Sentencing”. Since leniency for offender charged under
“Mandatory Sentencing” can be considered if the defendant
decides to cooperate with the state and share information about
other involved offenders, “Mandatory Sentencing” opens up the
possibility of bringing to book other offenders …..eventually
serving as deterrent for wider net of offenders then just the
immediate one charged. *[Is this a quote from a source? If so,
be sure to quote it correctly.]
Mandatory Sentencing: Removes Opportunity to commit Crime
by Locking up the Offenders. Offenders sentenced to probation
and released on parole commit more serious crimes. (Stress
Among Probation and Parole Officers and What Can Be Done
About It, June 05), “Individual conversations, each a
combination of listening and talking, clearly have huge
limitations, as no one can be absolutely compelled either to
listen or to talk if they are
determined not to do so” ( Bridges Andrew , July 2009 , Speech
given to Criminal Justice Alliance on 1st July 2009:The given
title “The Challenges facing Probation”)
“The general recidivism rate for federal prisoners has been
estimated to be as high as 41 percent.” (The Federal Bureau of
Prisons’ Compassionate Release Program ,April 2013)
The excerpts mentioned above clearly highlight the fact that
offenders on probation/parole tend to commit crime.

9. Appropriate place for criminals is “behind the bars”. By
keeping the offenders locked up in the prison, the opportunity to
commit further crimes is denied. Since “Mandatory Sentencing”
prevents the Parole to offenders, it definitely acts as deterrent
for the crimes. *[Your use of quotes here is a bit confusing, and
I am a little unsure of the overall point you are trying to make.]
Some people may argue that because of “Mandatory
Sentencing” prison populations increase leading to financial
strain on state treasury. This is a small amount to pay to keep
the society safe and to protect society from possible future
crimes if these offenders were not locked up in prisons. One
needs to consider the amount of money saved by avoiding the
possible expense on keeping the society safe if these offenders
were free and also the amount of money saved by preventing
possible future crimes by these offenders. *[Good rebuttal
argument here! It could be even stronger if you compare some
actual numbers, maybe the cost of keeping a prisoner in jail for
a certain amount of time vs. the cost of damages from a famous
criminal act.]
Mandatory Sentencing acts as a deterrent for certain crimes
….by putting fear into offenders of severe punishment, jail time
and higher penalty and by keeping the offenders locked up in
prison, incapacitating and preventing these offenders from
committing further crimes. Mandatory Sentencing, for special
category offenders, should be lauded for acting as a deterrent
through the two pronged approach of threat in form of jail term
and higher penalty and incapacitation by keeping the offenders
locked up. *[This is good, but a bit brief. Be sure to include
recap of all your major points here.]

10. References
The Federal Bureau of Prisons’ Compassionate Release Program
,April 2013
Retreived from
http://www.justice.gov/oig/reports/2013/e1306.pdf )
Bridges Andrew, July 2009, Speech given to Criminal Justice
Alliance on 1st July 2009:The given title “The Challenges
facing Probation” Retrieved
http://www.justice.gov.uk/downloads/about/hmiprob/challenges
-facing-prob-jul-09.pdf
Stress Among Probation and Parole Officers and What Can Be
Done About It, June 05, Retrieved from
https://www.ncjrs.gov/pdffiles1/nij/205620.pdf )
Executive Summary, Report to the Congress: Mandatory
Minimum Penalties in the Federal Criminal Justice System, Oct
2011 Retrieved fom http://www.ussc.gov/news/congressional-
testimony-and-reports/mandatory-minimum-penalties/report-
congress-mandatory-minimum-penalties-federal-criminal-
justice-system)
*[These do not appear to be in alphabetical order, and you seem
to be using a mixture of APA and MLA citation. Be sure to
review the style guide to see how these should be properly
cited.]