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Friendships
By Alyssa Thomson
And Social Media
Part of the habit
• When talking about
friendships and social
media, it is important to
take into consideration the
importance of these
websites. Without
understanding why there is
such a dependence, we
cannot fully understand
the impact.
• Skyler Sierra, an 18-year-
old from Colorado stated,
“If you’re not on MySpace,
you don’t exist.” While
MySpace may not be as
prominent now, the
mindset towards social
media websites still
remains.
Defining friendship
• Friendship is no longer strictly
defined in organic ways, or
normal ritualistic activities.
• Now, it is normal to recognize,
formulate, and strengthen
relationships through the
Internet.
• Friendships, like many things,
are constructed and defined
culturally, and these social
networks have become a
growing cultural force.
• People feel that they are
rewarded for being dependent
on these sites, and often
recognize the success or failure
of relationships through sites
like Facebook and MySpace.
• It’s easy to dismiss online interactions as less impactful than those
we have in a face to face setting, but it is important not to separate
these two concepts very much, because the users do not.
• A key concept to understanding friendships and social media is that
social networking sites are not seen as virtual worlds, but simply
another way to connect with their peers.
• While in the past, teenagers would find social gathering places like
the mall, they have most recently felt ostracized from these places
and instead retreat to an online space. It is often treated as a
“hangout” and conversations and interactions move seemlessly
from interactions in person to interactions online, as long as the
same people are involved.
Using Social Media as a Negotiator for Social Standings.
• Facebook and MySpace users turn to these websites
for a sense of social status and power. One of the
researchers, Milner, suggested that this obsession
with status comes from these young people “having
so little political and economic power.”
• Teenagers often use this virtual space to create and
reinforce their social standing among their peers.
• While before these websites, popularity was simply
based on perception, now people have actual physical
representations of their popularity. It becomes a
numbers contest: whoever has the most friends wins.
The number of “likes” your status, picture, or
relationship update gets therefore becomes a
representation of your importance and relevance
among your peers.
• Although it’s extremely rare, there has been a lot of concern about children
being targeted by adults, most specifically sexual predators.
• This distrust stays with us as we grow, and most people, especially in the U.S.
are very wary of participating in conversations with people they do not know,
and instead use them to build and maintain friendships with people they
already know.
• While this makes people feel more safe, it also eliminates the possibility of
people opening themselves up to completely different individuals and
lifestyles, one of the most positive possibilities of online communication.
• This concept is known as homophily, a term that describes the likelihood of
people to connect with others that share their interest and values.
• People who do use the internet to talk to strangers are often shamed or embarassed,
which is unfortunate for those who would like the comfort of talking to strangers on
topics that they might not necessarily be comfortable talking to those they are close
with.
• While there are no social consequences for “de-friending” or
ignoring friend requests from people that they do not know, it is
considered rude to do this to someone that you do know, even just
an acquaintance.
• Removing someone from a social media website is symbolic for
removing them from your life, and so it is often considered a very
personal action that is often used to purposefully upset others.
Social
Hierarchies
• Not only is status important
on an individual level, but also
among the friends
accumulated in the process.
• MySpace had a “Top 8”
feature, in which users could
rank the people that were
most important in their life
and separate them from the
rest of their friends.
• This caused a lot of
drama, because people would
judge how important they
were to someone else based
on how they ranked, or if they
made the ranking at all. An
uneven ranking between two
individuals could cause
jealousies and question
loyalties.
Online Drama
• The “Top 8” feature is
an example of how
much drama can also
start in an online
setting.
• While drama has always
been a large part of
personal
relationships, many say
that rumors, gossip, and
drama travel a lot faster
and with more
magnitude when it is
through the Internet.
Cyberbullies
• As a result of conflicting social statuses, social hierachies, and
online drama, some people also use these sites to harass or
bully others.
• Unfortunately, the actual act of “cyberbullying” is difficult to
define and therefore difficult to protect people from or find
punishment for bullies.
• In many of the cases, victims are also the aggressors, and
anonymity makes it difficult to track.
• Just as social media websites can generate and enhance
relationships, it can also cause damage for those who choose
to use it in a hurtful way.
Information taken from:
Ito, Mizuko, Sonja Baumer, Matteo Bittani, Danah Boyd, and Rachel Cody.
Hanging Out, Messing Around, and Geeking Out: Kids Living and Learning
with New Media. N.p.: n.p., n.d. 79-116. Web.

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Friendships and social media

  • 2. Part of the habit • When talking about friendships and social media, it is important to take into consideration the importance of these websites. Without understanding why there is such a dependence, we cannot fully understand the impact. • Skyler Sierra, an 18-year- old from Colorado stated, “If you’re not on MySpace, you don’t exist.” While MySpace may not be as prominent now, the mindset towards social media websites still remains.
  • 3. Defining friendship • Friendship is no longer strictly defined in organic ways, or normal ritualistic activities. • Now, it is normal to recognize, formulate, and strengthen relationships through the Internet. • Friendships, like many things, are constructed and defined culturally, and these social networks have become a growing cultural force. • People feel that they are rewarded for being dependent on these sites, and often recognize the success or failure of relationships through sites like Facebook and MySpace.
  • 4. • It’s easy to dismiss online interactions as less impactful than those we have in a face to face setting, but it is important not to separate these two concepts very much, because the users do not. • A key concept to understanding friendships and social media is that social networking sites are not seen as virtual worlds, but simply another way to connect with their peers. • While in the past, teenagers would find social gathering places like the mall, they have most recently felt ostracized from these places and instead retreat to an online space. It is often treated as a “hangout” and conversations and interactions move seemlessly from interactions in person to interactions online, as long as the same people are involved.
  • 5. Using Social Media as a Negotiator for Social Standings.
  • 6. • Facebook and MySpace users turn to these websites for a sense of social status and power. One of the researchers, Milner, suggested that this obsession with status comes from these young people “having so little political and economic power.” • Teenagers often use this virtual space to create and reinforce their social standing among their peers. • While before these websites, popularity was simply based on perception, now people have actual physical representations of their popularity. It becomes a numbers contest: whoever has the most friends wins. The number of “likes” your status, picture, or relationship update gets therefore becomes a representation of your importance and relevance among your peers.
  • 7. • Although it’s extremely rare, there has been a lot of concern about children being targeted by adults, most specifically sexual predators. • This distrust stays with us as we grow, and most people, especially in the U.S. are very wary of participating in conversations with people they do not know, and instead use them to build and maintain friendships with people they already know. • While this makes people feel more safe, it also eliminates the possibility of people opening themselves up to completely different individuals and lifestyles, one of the most positive possibilities of online communication. • This concept is known as homophily, a term that describes the likelihood of people to connect with others that share their interest and values. • People who do use the internet to talk to strangers are often shamed or embarassed, which is unfortunate for those who would like the comfort of talking to strangers on topics that they might not necessarily be comfortable talking to those they are close with.
  • 8. • While there are no social consequences for “de-friending” or ignoring friend requests from people that they do not know, it is considered rude to do this to someone that you do know, even just an acquaintance. • Removing someone from a social media website is symbolic for removing them from your life, and so it is often considered a very personal action that is often used to purposefully upset others.
  • 9. Social Hierarchies • Not only is status important on an individual level, but also among the friends accumulated in the process. • MySpace had a “Top 8” feature, in which users could rank the people that were most important in their life and separate them from the rest of their friends. • This caused a lot of drama, because people would judge how important they were to someone else based on how they ranked, or if they made the ranking at all. An uneven ranking between two individuals could cause jealousies and question loyalties.
  • 10. Online Drama • The “Top 8” feature is an example of how much drama can also start in an online setting. • While drama has always been a large part of personal relationships, many say that rumors, gossip, and drama travel a lot faster and with more magnitude when it is through the Internet.
  • 11. Cyberbullies • As a result of conflicting social statuses, social hierachies, and online drama, some people also use these sites to harass or bully others. • Unfortunately, the actual act of “cyberbullying” is difficult to define and therefore difficult to protect people from or find punishment for bullies. • In many of the cases, victims are also the aggressors, and anonymity makes it difficult to track. • Just as social media websites can generate and enhance relationships, it can also cause damage for those who choose to use it in a hurtful way.
  • 12. Information taken from: Ito, Mizuko, Sonja Baumer, Matteo Bittani, Danah Boyd, and Rachel Cody. Hanging Out, Messing Around, and Geeking Out: Kids Living and Learning with New Media. N.p.: n.p., n.d. 79-116. Web.