The best commit messages from the 2016 edition of CMSC 23300 - Networks and Distributed Systems

1. The Best Commit Messages of 2016
University of Chicago – CMSC 23300 Networks and Distributed Systems

2. Before we begin, let's take
a look back at the...

3. Top Ten Commit Messages
of All Time

4. 10. IT WAS THE LOOOOOOOOOCKS
9. git couldn't merge a blank line with
a deletion of the blank line.
motherf■■ker what are you even good for
8. it compiles! doesn't reply to
anything, though
7. i love the smell of segfaults in the
morning
6. Made host a global (eat your heart
out borja)

5. 5. well, nothing works, all tests fail, and
i have no idea how to implement this RFC,
but it's not immidiately segfaulting, so,
i've got that going for me
4. how the f■■k did I pass two more tests?
I only fixed one of them. this is gonna
bite me in the ass later isn't it? f■■k me
3. oh my god, it's spelled LUSERS, not
LUSER
2. last push of the night
jk can't stop

6. 1. worked an additional day, finished
everything but send function is clearly
broken so test all fail. this is hell on
earth. I would pray to God, but I don't
know how to correctly send messages.

7. And give an honorable
mention to...

8. The Best Branch Names of 2016
inferior_branch
mutex_swag_branch
cool_kids_mutex_branch
■■■■■■■-the-mode-struggle-continues

9. The Best Commit Messages of 2016

10. $ grep “^[^a-z]+$” commits.txt
TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES
PROGRESS IS HAPPENING
THIS IS BRKOEN
UNBROKED MASTER SORRY ■■■■ AND BORJA
LOL I DELETED HANDLERS WHOOPS
╭∩╮ ╭∩╮（︶︿︶） PUSHING TO MASTER
BECAUSE YOU TOLD ME TO.
MUAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH

11. $ grep “^[^a-z]+$” commits.txt
100 PERCENT IM OUT
I DID IT
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEE
COMPILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
RRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
RRRRRSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
ALL TESTS PASSING ~~ ALL SYSTEMS GO GO
GO GO GO GO
P2A SUBMISSION BUT FO REAL THIS TIME

12. $ grep ! commits.txt
first segfault down!
yay! everything passed and now we have a
whole day to make our code nice
oh noooooooooooooooooooo more files to
debug!!!!
one test passing!
no Leaks!
IT'S ALIVE! or somethign allong these
lines
Fixed bug with malformation of the
nickname in use error, more points
comming our way!

13. $ grep "^...$" commits.txt | sort -u
>:(
???
...
abc
adf
all
asd
Cha
dfs
dsa
fix
idk
ugh
UGH
who
wip
WIP
wtf
yay
lil
lol
loL
omg
pls
ssd
$ grep "^....$" commits.txt | sort -u
4/15
95.5
99&?
add
ads
asd
asdf
asdF
asfd
away
back
blah
bleh
bluh
Dfa
done
dumb
ehhh
FIRE
hadn
help
here
typo
Typo
whee
whoo
wiip
work
Here
hmmm
list
lopl
nmew
oops
quit
sljf
sljk
slol
TODO

14. $ grep -i bug commits.txt | wc --lines
258

15. $ grep -i bug commits.txt
debug 0
debug 1
debug 2
...
debug 20

16. $ grep -i bug commits.txt
fixed stupid bug about whogodknowswhat
adding support for PONG (with bug)
beginning debug proccess. this should be
fun.
back into bugfixing game
Fixed bug at line 343
Re-fixed bug at line 343 in tcp.c
Bug-f■■king-fixing
Revert "bug-f■■king-fixing"

17. $ grep -i segfault commits.txt
lmao segfaulting already
ugh that made it segfault
undid changes please stop segfaulting
I can send messages, but it segfaults
when it receives a message. Damn.
Reordered something; hopefully does not
segfault now
hopefully the segfaults aren't my fault

18. $ grep -i what commits.txt
what?
what
i don't know what i'm doing with threads
no idea what I'm doing
No idea what I did. Everything but the
last test works now.
I'm not actually sure what I changed.
help i don't know what's going on :(
idk whats up with strcat
not sure what changes have been made...?

19. $ grep -i god commits.txt
god bless cannon
may the gods be merciful
god bless america.
thank god I don't have to withdraw
Oh my god client sends server receives
is completely passing I am so happy
yessss

20. $ grep -i borja commits.txt
BORJA! Why does the whois test assume
space at the end?. Use regex or strip?
fixing merge conflict. Borja why no git
push -f?
You're tearing me apart, Borja!
ok borja i'll be a style nazi 4 u

21. $ grep -i csil commits.txt
pushing to work on CSIl
x 32
fixed errors -- compiling on CSIL
x 26
obligatory message because pushing
constantly to use CSIL machines
x 25

22. $ grep -i hate commits.txt
We pass some modes tests and I hate
uthash
i hate vim
I hate VMs sooo much :(
I hate everything except for coffee

23. $ grep -i git commits.txt
f■■k git
seriously f■■k git
forgot to add changes from last commit,
darn git *shakes fist*
Work git dammit
I broke git
git wants me to commit, so i did
I swear git sometimes doesnt actually
push my code

24. $ grep -i merg commits.txt
ok merge went alright thank goodness
idk why merge
merging is poo
literally f■■k merging

25. $ grep -i s■■t commits.txt
Figured that s■■t out
Still working on ARP and s■■t
s■■tty uc wifi destroyed some of my work
but heres a little of the packet handler
function
okay i fixed the dumb thing and sorry
for pushing broke s■■t to master
IT DOESN'T SEG FAULTTTTTT you can now
join s■■t for real and show names
AND NOW THE UNS■■TTENING BEGINS

26. $ grep -i f■■k commits.txt
f■■king echoes
f■■k macros
F■■K ALL OF THIS
this commit passes all the tests. if i
f■■k it up, revert here
I f■■ked something up. Need to revert
its f■■king lit

27. hey look i wrote something
And we're done with robustness and I am SO
DAMN HAPPY
ack_seq and ack are NOT the same thing. this
was very painful to learn. active opener is
entering ESTABLISHED state now
making connection teardown great again
i wrote this retransmission function. i didn't
call it. i'm ashamed
Names. is. finally. 100%. Working. F**K YEAH
Fixed many things, but still, nothing works.
wow already messed this one up
Made some functions for channels which would
be great IF CHANNELS ACTUALLY WORKED

28. i think I finally figured s■■t out
welp looks like it wasn't figured out after
all
yayayayayayay ■■■■■ figured out the weird arp
stuff so it works now

29. lolwatup
lolwhatup sent back
lolwatdown

30. Playing with simclist to see if I can remove
duplicates from pending_packets
Jk that broke literally everything

31. Adding context structs
dispatch table coming
this is a haiku
All tests pass again
what a joyous day this is
dispatch table works
Fixed some merge conflicts
there is nothing else to say
f■■k f■■k f■■k f■■k f■■k
tweaked input parsing
robustness tests now all pass
five more syllables
BREAKING HAIKU FORMAT BECAUSE ALL TESTS PASS

32. It is 6 in the morning. I have class in four
hours. We only have 65.10 points. The work
continues.
There are a few things I am ashamed of in life.
One of them is that I have been working on this
project for seven hours straight. Another is that
the code is ugly. But at least we're passing some
tests.
Frankencode passes all modes tests. Is this real
life?
NAMES is done. The end is in sight, but my end
might come first.
Much like my life, most of the code has reached
Chernobyl levels of disaster. Much unlike my life,
however, everything works and all the tests pass.
Made AmeIRCa great again.
was reinitializing tcp_data because i like causing
myself pain. syn, syn-ack are sending

33. I have pulled more all-nighters in the last
two weeks than in the last three and a half
years combined (not counting Scav).
Whyyyyyyyy, Borja, whyyyyyyyyyyy?
It's breaking more than it used to, but it
*feels* like everything works...
The deadline was 8 hours ago but it finally
passes all the tests. Or maybe it's still
horribly broken and I'm hallucinating because
of how sleep-deprived I am.
It's like 10000000% broken but I managed to
pass all of the retransmission tests once

34. TCP stands for Time-Consuming Project. I made
some progress on the ESTABLISHED state, but
the Long Night is just beginning.
"Oh, my sweet summer child," Old Nan said
quietly, "what do you know of fear? Fear is
for the winter, my little lord, when the snows
fall a hundred feet deep and the ice wind
comes howling out of the north. Fear is for
the long night, when the sun hides its face
for years at a time, and little children are
born and live and die all in darkness while
the direwolves grow gaunt and hungry, and the
white walkers move through the woods."
The night is dark and full of errors

35. Let's dispel with this fiction
that I know exactly what I'm doing.
I don't know what I'm doing.