3. Conflict – a fight, battle, or war;
a competitive or opposing action of
incompatibilities; or a mental
struggle resulting from
incompatible or opposing
needs, drives, wishes, or external
or internal demands
Resolution – something that is
resolved
5. • ―Avoiding is unassertive and
uncooperative—the person neither
pursues his own concerns nor those of
the other individual. Thus, he does
not deal with the conflict. Avoiding
might take the form of diplomatically
sidestepping an issue, postponing an
issue until a better time or simply
withdrawing from a threatening
situation.‖
6. • ―Accommodating is unassertive and
cooperative—the complete opposite of
competing. When accommodating, the
individual neglects his own concerns
to satisfy the concerns of the other
person; there is an element of self-
sacrifice in this mode. Accommodating
might take the form of selfless
generosity or charity, obeying
another person's order when you would
prefer not to, or yielding to
another's point of view‖
7. • ―Competing is assertive and
uncooperative—an individual pursues
his own concerns at the other
person's expense. This is a power-
oriented mode in which you use
whatever power seems appropriate to
win your own position—your ability to
argue, your rank, or economic
sanctions. Competing means "standing
up for your rights," defending a
position, which you believe is
correct, or simply trying to win.‖
8. • ―Compromising is moderate in both
assertiveness and cooperativeness. The
objective is to find some expedient,
mutually acceptable solution that
partially satisfies both parties. It
falls intermediate between competing and
accommodating. Compromising gives up more
than competing but less than
accommodating. Likewise, it addresses an
issue more directly than avoiding, but
does not explore it in as much depth as
collaborating. In some situations,
compromising might mean splitting the
difference between the two positions,
exchanging concessions, or seeking a
quick middle-ground solution.‖
9. • ―Collaborating is both assertive
and cooperative—the complete opposite
of avoiding. Collaborating involves
an attempt to work with others to
find some solution that fully
satisfies their concerns. It means
digging into an issue to pinpoint the
underlying needs and wants of the two
individuals. Collaborating between
two persons might take the form of
exploring a disagreement to learn
from each other's insights or trying
to find a creative solution to an
interpersonal problem.‖
10. o Anticipate: “Any change may be disruptive to
employees, customers, or other partners. Taking time to think
systemically about changes may yield insight into the potential
causes of conflict.”
o Prevent: “Based on accurate anticipation of conflict, leaders may
be able to adjust a strategy, tactic, or communication to stop
conflict from occurring. Calling on the organization’s purpose may
garner support for a change instead of creating conflict—especially
if current results are not satisfactory and the change is intended
to improve results.”
o Identify: “Not all conflicts can be prevented; leaders who quickly
identify the experience of interpersonal conflict are able to move
more quickly to manage it.”
o Manage: “Rather than taking the emotion out of the conflict, or
attempting to solve the problem, successful leaders who have
accurately identified conflict manage the emotions and motives
during conflict to build the relationship and move the conflict
toward resolution.”
o Resolve: “Once the interpersonal issues are addressed, people are
more able to engage in productive dialogue about the opposing
issues. Leaders who take the extra time to manage conflict achieve
better results during resolution because people are no longer
taking things personally. Instead they are able to engage in a free
and open dialogue and make the best decision with the information
available at the time”
11. *
o “Listen for what is felt as well as said. When we listen we connect more
deeply to our own needs and emotions, and to those of other people.
Listening in this way also strengthens us, informs us, and makes it
easier for others to hear us.”
o “Make conflict resolution the priority rather than winning or "being
right." Maintaining and strengthening the relationship, rather than
“winning” the argument, should always be your first priority. Be
respectful of the other person and his or her viewpoint.”
o “Focus on the present. If you’re holding on to old hurts and
resentments, your ability to see the reality of the current situation
will be impaired. Rather than looking to the past and assigning
blame, focus on what you can do in the here-and-now to solve the
problem.”
o “Pick your battles. Conflicts can be draining, so it’s important to
consider whether the issue is really worthy of your time and energy.
Maybe you don't want to surrender a parking space if you’ve been circling
for 15 minutes. But if there are dozens of spots, arguing over a single
space isn’t worth it.”
o “Be willing to forgive. Resolving conflict is impossible if you’re
unwilling or unable to forgive. Resolution lies in releasing the urge to
punish, which can never compensate for our losses and only adds to our
injury by further depleting and draining our lives.”
o “Know when to let something go. If you can’t come to an agreement, agree
to disagree. It takes two people to keep an argument going. If a conflict
is going nowhere, you can choose to disengage and move on”
