2. How to deal with your enemy at work
Introduction
• There are some people in
this world that make us
really mad.
• They make us mad with:
– Their comments, insults
and gestures and it is not
always easy to deal with
them.
3. How to deal with your enemy at work
Important
• If you have too many
enemies or everyone
where you work looks
like an enemy, then you
are either in a toxic
workplace or you need
to consider therapy.
4. How to deal with your enemy at work
Important
• But if you sense that
one or two people
have become your
opponents, you may
be right.
5. How to deal with your enemy at work
Few Adversaries at work
• Almost everybody
encounters a few
adversaries during their
career and life.
• The ability to recognize
adversaries and respond
appropriately can be a
critical life and career
survival skill.
6. How to deal with your enemy at work
Important questions
• Before classifying a person
as your enemy, we should
start by asking ourselves
three key questions:
– Is this an actual enemy or
adversary or simply an
annoying person?
– What does this person want?
– How do I keep this person
from interfering with my
success?
7. How to deal with your enemy at work
Enemy or an annoying person?
A difficult person
Annoying
Is not our enemy,
Person
He is just a jerk.
No matter where you work, you will have co-workers with
personalities, habits or work styles that annoy you.
If you let them push you, you will find yourself entangled in
unnecessary conflicts.
Successful people don’t allow themselves to be distracted by
frustrating colleagues.
8. How to deal with your enemy
What makes a true enemy?
• A true enemy has an agenda
that makes it difficult for
you to accomplish important
goals.
• Some want to do you harm,
while others are simply self-
centered – however, all of
them are operating against
your best interests.
9. How to deal with your enemy at work
Strategy 01 – Identifying your enemy
• It is important to identify
your true enemy.
• And after having identified
an enemy, you must next
figure out what this person
wants.
• Here is an important
psychological truth:
– All behavior has a purpose.
10. How to deal with your enemy at work
Strategy 02 – Responding to an enemy
• Having determined the
adversary’s motive, you
must then figure out how
to respond.
• Your goal is not to punish
adversaries but to keep
them from interfering
with your success.
11. How to deal with your enemy at work
Strategy 02 – Responding to an enemy
• You have two options:
– Convert an enemy to
an ally by improving
the relationship.
– Take steps to contain
the person’s
destructive potential.
12. How to deal with your enemy at work
Strategy 03 – Talk with your enemy
• Talk with your enemy in
a calm manner.
• Ask him or her why they
are upset with you or why
they hate you.
• Do not get offended by
what they say.
13. How to deal with your enemy at work
Strategy 04 – Face your enemy
• You should confront your
enemy face to face if it is
really necessary.
• Ask him or her why they are
upset with you or why they
hate you.
• If they start offending you,
you should walk away and
talk to them later when he is
calm.
14. How to deal with your enemy at work
Strategy 05 – Ignore his comments
• He will make many nasty,
mean comments about
you and about anything
associated with you such
as your work, family or
other friends.
• Just ignore them.
15. How to deal with your enemy at work
Strategy 06 – Get new friends
• Get new friends who you
like and who like you,
also.
• There is no need to waste
your valuable time with
enemies.
• Make new friends and
forget about the people
who hate you.
16. How to deal with your enemy at work
Strategy 07 – Apologize if it is your fault
• Apologize if the
situation is your
fault.
• Tell them that you
are sorry, and that
you want to make
things better.
• Be sincere.
17. How to deal with your enemy at work
Strategy 08 – Stay away
• Avoid going places
where you know they
will be hanging out.
• Do not go around
them.
• Go the opposite
direction, if possible.
18. How to deal with your enemy at work
Strategy 09 – Call the police
• If they continue to harass you
or get violent with you, do not
return the favor.
• Simply get out of the situation,
and call the police.
• They cannot legally harm you,
so you should call the police if
they threaten or assault you in
any way.
19. How to deal with your enemy at work
Strategy 10 – The best approach
• The best remedy for enemies is to
have a lot of allies.
• Positive relationships build political
capital, so you need to have as many
of them as possible.
• If you are widely viewed as a
trustworthy, helpful colleague, then
your enemies will find few
opportunities to cause you any serious
harm.
20. How to deal with your enemy at work
Conclusion
• No matter how upset you are
with your work enemy, it’s just
work.
• He’s (obviously) not your friend,
he’s not your partner, and while
you might feel emotions about
him, work isn’t the place to
express them.
• So say hello, and then go about
your business.
21. How to deal with your enemy at work
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