How to Recover from the Toll of Dealing with Cyber Bullies as a Digital Marketer

1. Michelle Spiva
http://DigitalMarketersLife.com
You’ve Been Cyber Bullied…But You Still Win!
Have you ever bought a sales pitch hook, line and sinker only to realize that what you
didn’t know could kill ya? That’s what happened to me when I caught the digital
marketers dream. Keep reading to find out how to save your sanity and stay in the
game to win.
I remember it like it was yesterday…my first troll on a forum thread for a product. I was
tired and had taken a break to rest from babysitting all the redundant questions that you
get from folks in these settings. You know the type, those who want you to assure them
that your product will magically make them into someone they were not able to be on
their own and without any work on their part. It wasn’t long into my much needed rest
that I got a private message from someone telling me to check the thread.
There it was big as day—a comment
from an angry and hurt person who
wanted someone to side with them
and feel their pain from being fleeced
by us “Internet Marketer Scammers.”
The attack was vicious and even
more diabolical, believable if you did
not know any better. It socked the
wind out of me and put me right in the
middle of my feelings. Boy, my ego
was riled and ready to rumble.
I had to ‘take a seat’ as we like to say
in the southern USA to get myself in
order. Then, I pulled on my many
years of therapy experience to
respond to the person in the open
thread. Once I acknowledged that I heard them and allowed them to have their say that
was the end of it. I would go to use this as a standard way to deal with Trolls. By the
way, Trolls are mostly folks who feel helpless to get someone to listen to their gripes, so
they have public adult temper tantrums. Don’t give in too much but acknowledge them
as a person with feelings and keep it moving.
My induction into the dark side of digital marketing—Cyber Bulling and other
Cheap Shots

2. I never got a manual that said there would be trolls, super critics and cyber bullies in the
woods of Digital Marketing land—did you get one?
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Think about all the times when people have assaulted your good name, products
or intentions.
What about those who hide behind monitors and talked to you in ways they never
would if they were standing face to face with you?
Or, the vicious emails sent demanding you bend over backwards to do X, Y or Z
and if not they will make sure to tell everyone you are a scammer?
And don’t forget about the folks who request refunds after they have gotten
access to your products, scraped what they wanted and even posted links to
Black Hat forums.
Or, better yet, the true scammers who manage to get an affiliate link and then go
about defrauding you out of commissions and charge backs for your hard work?
Yes, this be the dark woods of digital marketing.
Welcome to the digital marketing boot camp for big boys and girls…
If you have any experience with any of the scenarios above and are still in the game of
Digital Business, I salute you. You have survived the dark side of Digital Marketing—
Cyber Bullying and other cheap shots. This message is to help you and support you as
you continue to go about your way.
If you have been doing digital marketing on a consistent basis, you are either a solid
and sound person or a delusional sociopath who is most likely bleeding all over the
place from ignored wounds.
You are willing to weather the storm of public scrutiny and for that I say well done.
Hopefully you are making money from your online efforts on a consistent basis as well
and if not, keep at it until you do. But in the meantime, create a way to recuperate from
the wounds of being on the global stage of Digital Marketing.
As a digital media publisher (the fancy updated name for Internet Marketers), you have
had to master the art of pushing through, being tough and having a strong mental game.
And if you are new to the game, trust me, you will have to strengthen these traits quickly
in order to survive.
Anytime you see someone who is successfully and continuously getting their message
and products out to the masses, you are looking at someone who has had to deal with a
great amount of scrutiny, criticism and even abuse from the ‘whosoever wills’ online.
Trust and know they most likely have the mental and emotional metal of a super
Buddha.

3. There are no filters or separations between the masses and the marketer. The public is
able to post, tweet, video, blog, and social media their gripes about you to the world.
And, you are fair game just like the celebrities and public figures.
Part of your job is to make sure your emotional armor is strong and battle ready. You do
this by never ignoring the extent of your wounds on the trek through the dark woods of
digital marketing.
Your Feelings Need Attention too…
On a daily basis, you are subjected to cyber bullying and other forms of harassment; all
because you dare to present your products, goods and services to the global market.
Going unchecked, your very soul can become beat down and tainted. This is an area
where if not maintained and repaired on a regular basis, it can cause everything from
poor physical and mental health to business self-sabotage.
Think about the folks who just throw in the towel, walk away or do something stupid or
risky to lose everything. These folks are the bleeding wounded who never get the
healing needed to stay in the game to win it. Don’t be this person!
The old catchphrase: “takes a lickin’ and keeps on tickin’” was never meant to apply to
people. You are not a robot and dealing with people takes a toll. Dealing with difficult
people can suck the life out of your soul.
Where attention goes, havoc can flow…
When you draw attention to your product and to yourself, you open a floodgate of
potential emotional drain. Whether you realize it or not, there is a great pull on you to
perform and make others happy. Think about how much it is stressed that what you do
be engaging and entertaining. That takes a lot of out of a person to always be ‘on.’
The toll comes when you don’t have the steam to continue at the level needed to keep
the machine rolling. Not to mention the taxation on your emotions dealing with the dark
side of digital marketing. This is a sign that you are dealing with a deficit.
Dealing with the Blahs…
Here is a quick remedy to help you recuperate and rejuvenate on a continual basis.
1. Get a SMALL and trusted inner circle of friends. Have folks both in and out of the
business realm who are there for you to provide support and refuge from the big
bad wolves of digital marketing
2. Pick ONE trusted colleague to act as an accountability partner. Make a pledge to
yourself and this person to make your meeting times with them a high priority.
Keep your word to them to do what you say and to support their efforts as well.
Be vulnerable to be courageous.

4. 3. Quickly realize and admit when you are emotionally spent. Be open and vocal
about your feelings and emotions of dealing with online issues to your group,
significant other and/or accountability partner.
4. Sometimes it is Biology and not Psychology. Sometimes you are dealing with
biological issues like hormone and chemical imbalances due to longtime
stressors. Take issue to eat properly, move your body on a daily basis (exercise,
walking, etc.) and practice daily rituals and routines that keep you centered and
grounded.
5. Mind your actions. Practice the golden rule to treat people the best way possible
with respect, honor and honesty. Provide excellent customer service but instill
proper boundaries as well.
Think of the toll it takes on your wellbeing to deal with customer service, Troll
comments, flippant criticisms from folks who’ve never met you, product theft, reputation
slander, serial refunders and on and on. It is no wonder many digital media publishers
have crappy health, poor social relationships and unstable business structures.
For as much time and effort given to learning and implementing business strategies,
time and attention MUST be given to repairing the emotional toll of public and open
abuse from a global audience. Sure, it is not what the ‘dream’ of digital marketing looks
like, but you CAN and WILL win.
Be certain to never ignore or push aside your internal welfare. Share through
vulnerability, your trials and be conscious to pay attention to your whole person: mind,
body and soul.
Thanks,
Michelle Spiva
http://DigitalMarketersLife.com