Personal Statement Presentation

1. How to Write a Personal
Statement
September 12, 2014
Elena González Rivera, Ed. D.

2. Overview and Objectives of the
Workshop
 Define what a personal statement is
 Discuss things to avoid
 Discuss ways of gathering information
for each paragraph of the essay
 Select stylistic tools
 Practice writing

3. Part 1
 Definition of Personal Statement

4. Definition of Personal
Statement
 How would you define it?

5. Definition of Personal
Statement
A personal statement is:
 “A picture. Provide a snapshot of who you are as a
person.
 An invitation. Your job is to ‘bridge the assumed
distance of strangers.’ Invite your reader to get to know
you.
 An indication of your priorities and judgment.
Your selection of material reveals your priorities and
ability to discern effectively.
 A story, or more precisely, your story. The personal
statement allows you room for creative, meaningful self-reflection.”
 https://www.e-education.psu.edu/writingpersonalstatementsonline/p2_p2.html
The Penn University website entitled, “Writing Personal Statements on Line” created by Joe Schall
includes this summary of a longer definition from the Fellowships Office at Bryn Mawr posted in the
article "Advice from Fellowship Foundations"). http://www.wpi.edu/Academics/FS/personal.pdf

6. Definition of a Personal
Statement
A personal statement is not:
 “An academic paper with you as the subject. The objective
distance of academic writing disengages the reader from you in
a personal statement.
 A resume in narrative form. Other parts of your
application, which might include a resume, already tell readers
about your accomplishments. A personal statement must reveal
and interpret well beyond a resume.
 A journal entry. A common mistake is allowing your personal
statement to read like a diary. Share only relevant material
selectively, in a voice that remains both individual and
professional.
 A plea or justification. Don’t beg and don’t defend the
(incorrect) assertion that you are more worthy than other candidates—it
only backfires”. https://www.e-education.
psu.edu/writingpersonalstatementsonline/p2_p2.html

7. Part 2
 Characteristics of a Personal
Statement

8. Characteristics of a Personal
Statement
 What are some of its characteristics?

9. Characteristics of a Good Personal
Statement
 Is reflective and honest
 Strives for depth not breath
 Answers the prompt question
 Has a catchy introduction – engages the reader
 Transforms shortcomings into positives
 Shows knowledge of the institution
 Shows a “quite confidence”
http://students.berkeley.edu/apa/personalstatement/gettingstarted.html
 Tells a story
 Is specific
 Finds an “angle” or a hook
http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/642/01/ Jo Doran, Allen
Brizee
 Is distinctive, unique
http://www.indiana.edu/~wts/pamphlets/personal_statement.shtml
 Has a focus
http://www.cmu.edu/hpp/achieve/pstips.html

10. Characteristics of a Good Personal
Statement
 “Shows a quite confidence
revealed through your description of
a. lifelong interests,
b. sustained commitment,
c. and/or perseverance in the
face of adversity”.
http://students.berkeley.edu/apa/personalstatement/gettingstarted.htm

11. Characteristics of a Good Personal
Statement
Thoughtful and honest
 “A strong personal statement is reflective;
that is, it demonstrates that you have thought
about and gained a clear perspective on your
experiences and what you want in your
future. It gives the reader a vivid and
compelling picture of you-
 your achievements,
 your obstacles,
 your goals,
 your values”.
 http://students.berkeley.edu/apa/personalstatement
/gettingstarted.htm

12. Characteristics of a Good Personal
Statement
Is distinctive, unique
 “One way to do this is to include at least
one detailed example or anecdote that is
specific to your own experience—
perhaps a description of an important
family member or personal moment that
influenced your decision to pursue a
particular career or degree. This strategy
makes your statement distinctive and
memorable”.
http://www.indiana.edu/~wts/pamphlets/personal_statement.shtml

13. Part 3
 Things to Avoid

14. Things to Avoid
Ten Commandments
 Set realistic goals not unrealistic goals like
curing cancer/ winning a Nobel Prize.
 Praise yourself or your school, but never idolize
inappropriately.
 Consider the advice of others. Don’t take
advise lightly.
 Remember deadlines. Don’t stretch
deadlines.
 Be yourself. If you are not genuine in tone,
examples, and motivations, it will work against
you.
https://www.e-education.
psu.edu/writingpersonalstatementsonline/node/1988
Joe Schall

15. Things to Avoid
Ten Commandments
 Make sure you really want to go to graduate
school. Don’t take somebody else’s chance
away if you are no sure.
 Learn to discern well. Answer the prompt
question with relevant information. Don’t use
irrelevant information.
 Tell your own story. Don’t plagiarize someone
else’s ideas.
 Express the truth. Don’t lie or inflate.
 Don’t envy the academic success of others.
Half of those who start graduate school don’t
finish.
https://www.e-education.psu.edu/writingpersonalstatementsonline/node/1988
Joe Schall

16. Things to Avoid
 be competitive but not cocky
 informed but not formulaic
 https://www.e-education.
psu.edu/writingpersonalstatementsonline/p2_p2.html
 avoid clichés
“A medical school applicant who writes that he is good at science
and wants to help other people is not exactly expressing an original
thought. Stay away from often-repeated or tired statements”.
 Don't include some subjects
“There are certain things best left out of personal statements. For
example, references to experiences or accomplishments in high
school or earlier are generally not a good idea. Don't mention
potentially controversial subjects (for example, controversial
religious or political issues)”.
 http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/642/01/ Jo Doran, Allen
Brizee
 Avoid unnecessary duplication.
 Maintain your statement within the limits stated. Don’t make it
longer or shorter than specified.

17. Part 4
 Gathering Information Strategy

18. Gathering Information & Developing a
Theme
 Brainstorming -
◦ list ideas
◦ connect those ideas (concept map)
◦ complete a brainstorm worksheet
https://www.e-education.
psu.edu/writingpersonalstatementsonline/p2_p2.html

19. Brainstorming (handout #1)
 “Begin by creating a brainstorm sheet. Be totally honest!
Ask yourself the following questions, and write out your
answers.
 What are my strengths? What is special about me?
 What kind of person am I? What do I care about?”
http://students.berkeley.edu/apa/personalstatement/getti
ngstarted.htm
 “What's special, unique, distinctive, and/or impressive
about you or your life story?
 What details of your life (personal or family problems,
history, people or events that have shaped you or
influenced your goals) might help the committee better
understand you or help set you apart from other
applicants?
 When did you become interested in the field and what have
you learned about it (and about yourself) that has further
stimulated your interest and reinforced your conviction that
you are well suited to this field? What insights have you
gained?
http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/642/01/ Jo Doran,
Allen Brizee

20. Brainstorming
 Have you had to overcome any unusual obstacles or hardships?
 What personal characteristics (for example, integrity,
compassion, and/or persistence) do you possess that would
improve your prospects for success in the field or profession?
 How have you learned about this field—through classes,
readings, seminars, work or other experiences, or conversations
with people already in the field?
 If you have worked a lot during your college years, what have
you learned (leadership, managerial, or research skills), and
how has that work contributed to your growth?
 What are your career goals?
 What skills (for example, leadership, communicative, analytical)
do you possess?
 Why might you be a stronger candidate for graduate school—
and more successful and effective in the profession or field than
other applicants?”
http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/642/01/ Jo Doran, Allen Brizee

21. Part 5
 Gathering Information for Each
Paragraph

22. Gathering Information & Developing a
Theme
Introductory Paragraph:
Articulate a Personal or Professional Inspiration
“Some writers start with:
◦ an inspiring quote
◦ a narrative
◦ others make a comment about their academic discipline
What matters is that readers have a clear context through your opening,
and that we understand immediately that you are talking about
something of motivational meaning to you.
For example:
Briefly sketch out a positive influence: a memorable self-defining experience, a
high school or college project that ignited deeper interest, an inspiring teacher or
role model, a relative who followed a career path that you emulate—even a core
theme that will carry through the rest of your essay.
Always remember the typical fundamental goal of the opening: to provide a
quick, meaningful snapshot of who you are as a person.”
https://www.e-education.psu.edu/writingpersonalstatementsonline/p2_p4.html
`

23. Gathering Information & Developing a
Theme
Second and Third Paragraphs:
Discuss your Academic Background or
Research as a Set of Learned Skills
 “Readers will be most interested in
◦ specific, skills-oriented detail
◦ lab techniques acquired
◦ analytical tools used
◦ participation in team decision-making
◦ journal research and publication experience
◦ oral presentation skills
◦ Think in relation to those skills most valued in your discipline, and describe
your background in a way that highlights those attributes.”
 “Wed the present and the future—project ahead to graduate
research within your field...” What research would you like to do?
https://www.e-education.

24. Gathering Information & Developing a
Theme
Fourth Paragraph:
Establish Some Long-Term Objectives
 Professional Goals
◦ “ articulating a plan to continue work in a particular research area
◦ a desire to earn a PhD or teach at the university level
◦ future plans to work as an independent or corporate consultant”
 Personal Goals
◦ “to serve the public through grass-roots activism
◦ to be the first member of a large family to earn a graduate degree
◦ to write and publish.”
 Keep in mind the needs of your audience here:
“They simply wish to confirm that you have a seriousness of purpose, and that you
have the ability to envision some concrete plans (else why would you be applying
for graduate study?)”
 “Your long-term objectives can usually be rendered briefly rather than expansively,
perhaps woven into the beginning or end of your final paragraph.”
https://www.e-education.psu.edu/writingpersonalstatementsonline/p2_p4.html

25. Gathering Information & Developing a
Theme
Concluding Paragraph:
Close with Specifics About the Target Program or
Scholarship
 “Learning all you can about the target program or scholarship, which
usually begins with a visit to the school or award website, will give you
concrete closing material for your essay.
◦ Some students go a step further, e-mailing professors at their target
program or past winners of their target scholarship,
◦ reading publications of the target program’s faculty,
◦ or making it a point to meet grad students and faculty connected with
the target program at a conference. Such material, of course, could be
integrated to give natural closure to your personal essay, thus affiliating
you with the program of choice.
◦ Your goal is to create a personal and professional link between yourself
and the graduate school. Go beyond simply inserting the school name
into the final paragraph; prove that you have done your homework.”
https://www.e-education.psu.edu/writingpersonalstatementsonline/p2_p4.html

26. Gathering Information & Developing a
Theme
Explicitly addresses the question
(Handout #2)
 “For example, if you are asked to
describe your greatest
accomplishment or any unusual
circumstances or challenges you have
faced, then your reader will expect you
to use vivid language that will enable
the reader to visualize your
accomplishment and share your sense
of success.”
 http://students.berkeley.edu/apa/personalstatement/sampleessay.ht
ml

27. Gathering Information & Developing a
Theme
Explicitly address the question
(Handout #3)
 “Question Summary: Describe your
experiences in the following or describe
how you would address the following in
your professional career: integrating
research and education, advancing
diversity in science, enhancing scientific
and technical understanding, and
otherwise benefiting society”.
https://www.e-education.psu.edu/writingpersonalstatementsonline/ Joe
Schall
Sample Essay NSF.docx

28. Part 6
Stylistic Tools You Need to Consider

29. Stylistic Tools
Choose a FOCUS (thesis)
 “What is it? Focus refers to the main point of your statement.
Sometimes it is called a theme or thesis statement. Most of
what you say in your statement will contribute to supporting
your focus. In the very broadest sense, the focus of all
medical school personal statements is "Why I Should Be
Accepted to Medical School,". However, you need to choose
something a little more subtle and personal to make a
positive impression. Your focus should entail a value or an
observation that has shaped you as a person.
 Example, most of the time a focus is an abstract quality:
◦ the desire to help others,
◦ the importance of individual contribution,
◦ the drive to unite science and compassion”
http://www.cmu.edu/hpp/achieve/pstips.html
Carnegie Mellon Health Professions Program

30. Stylistic Tools
Select an INFORMAL TONE
 Avoiding formalities and generic phrases
“It is with great pride and deep respect that I
hereby do apply for the honor of the Rhodes
Scholarship.”
 Assume a respectful individual tone
“I look forward to the challenges that this project
presents as well as the opportunities for further
maturation as a practicing scientist.”
 Use an informal tone
◦ “to facilitate clear narrative;
◦ to involve yourself as a character in the action…”
https://www.e-education.
psu.edu/writingpersonalstatementsonline/ Joe
Schall

31. Stylistic Tools
Use JARGON SPARINGLY
Jargon – the specialized language of a
discipline
 Use of jargon shows the “insider,” you
are comfortable with the vocabulary
and discourse of your field of study
 Caution- Manage jargon and
informalities sparingly.
https://www.e-education.
psu.edu/writingpersonalstatementsonline/ Joe Schall

32. Stylistic Tool
Use NARRATIVE AND ANECDOTES
“When I received my first microscope
set at the age of eight, I couldn’t wait
to swab the inside of my cheek and
smear my cells on a slide.”
 “Note how this example does more
than just narrate—it also underscores
the writer’s passion for a field of study
or a commitment to a cause”.
https://www.e-education.
psu.edu/writingpersonalstatementsonline/ Joe Schall

33. Stylistic Tools
 Avoid CUTENESS AND GIMMICKY
◦ Referring to yourself in the third person
and then revealing at the end that the
protagonist is actually you
◦ Starting your essay with, “In the matter
before the court of UCLA, regarding the
admission of . . .”
https://www.e-education.psu.edu/writingpersonalstatementsonline/
Joe Schall

34. Part 7
 Writing Practice

35. Practice Writing
 Introductory paragraph
◦ Read the prompt for your personal
statement
◦ From your brainstorm identify your focus
◦ Write the introductory paragraph