In this presentation: Oren Shafir's three main ingredients for compelling opening lines with three examples from literary masters and 7 opening lines from his own flash fiction suspense blog

1. In the beginning:
How to write short story opening lines that will
hook readers right from the start
BY OREN SHAFIR
In this presentation: My three main ingredients for compelling opening lines, three examples
from literary masters and seven opening lines from my own flash fiction suspense blog

2. MY INGREDIENTS FOR YUMMY OPENING
LINES
1. Specificity
2. Action
3. Tension
Plus, some fancy Latin literary terms for good measure (you know
you gotta have some fancy Latin literary terms)
I’ll explain what I mean for each ingredient, show you some great
examples from literature, then humbly present seven of my own openings
from my flash fiction suspense blog.

3. SPECIFICITY
Fancy latin literary term #1, Deixis (which I may or may not be using correctly):
Deixis refers to words that cannot be fully understood without further contextual
information, for example, a personal pronoun (he, she, etc.) when you don’t know
to whom it refers. This may sound a bit vague, but it will become clear when we get
to the example shortly. Use deixis to:
Suck ‘em in
When you leave out that contextual information, it makes readers curious and pulls
them straight into your fictional world.

4. ACTION
Fancy Latin literary term #2, In medias res (pretty sure I’m using this
term correctly):
In media res means “in the midst of things.” In other words:
Get off to a flying start
You’re going to build a detailed background and world and create a vivid
setting some of which will appear in your story, but for now, just leave it
all in the back of your head, and -Jump right into the fire.

5. TENSION
Fancy literary term #3 Calidis et tædere (definitely using this term correctly
cause I ran out of real Latin literary terms and had to make one up):
Calidis et tædere means “hot n heavy” (according to Google translate, anyway)
Introduce your conflict right away
The more tension, the more your audience will feel compelled to read on in order to
find out how it will be resolved. Now let’s look at examples of these ingredients in
the opening lines of three masterful writers.

6. SPECIFICITY EXAMPLE
“Many years later, as he faced the firing squad, Colonel Aureliano Buendía was to
remember that distant afternoon when his father took him to discover ice.”
From One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel Garcia Marquez
Since we really don’t know where we are now in time, the words, “Many years later.,” lack context but
peak our interest and force us into the story. Of course we wonder what discovering ice is all about, too. I
remember reading this as a teenager and being totally hooked, thinking, “What? You can start a book like
that?”
Now let’s look at an example of the “in medias res” technique from a different genre: a teleplay.

7. ACTION EXAMPLE
“EXT. COW PASTURE DAY…
ZOOOM! WHEELS plow right through the shit with a SPLAT.
NEW ANGLE - AN RV is speeding smack-dab through the pasture, no road in sight…”
From Breaking Bad pilot by Vince Gilligan
Okay, I’m cheating a little bit here because it’s not a story opening line per se, but it does exemplify the “in media
res” technique. Boy did this series ever start with a bang . We were thrust right in the middle of a crazy police
chase and were hooked from the start. What’s more, in this case, amazingly, Vince Gilligan and company kept the
action enthralling for five seasons. This was of course, due to a variety of great ingredients.
But the opening action helped get us there. Now let’s look at my third opening-line ingredient, tension, using
another literary work, which blew the mind of (among others) the author of our first example, Gabriel Garcia
Marquez, to illustrate.

8. TENSION EXAMPLE
“As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams he found himself
transformed in his bed into a giant insect..”
From The Metamorphosis by Franz Kafka
Say what? A giant insect? How are you going to write your way out of this one, Franz? (one wonders
upon reading the novella for the first time.)
That opening made a lot of people want to find out what the heck happens next, and it’s a miracle of
literature that the story lived up to its opening.
Anyway, that was our third ingredient. Now, at the risk of underwhelming you by following up the greats
with the much less great, here’s some examples from my own flash fiction suspense blog.

9. 7 FLASH FICTION OPENING LINES
1.
A Drop to Drink: “ For the first time, Jason thought that they might just actually
die out there”…MORE
2.
Love Letter: “ Dear Celia, If you’re reading this now, then I am dead” …MORE
3.
Setting Momma Free: “Momma was bleeding from her head around the left
eyebrow.”… MORE
4.
The Golem: “Heinrich only kept him alive because he amused the men” …MORE
5.
The Geek: “They knew I didn’t do it because I was in Phoenix with my Dad that
week and didn’t get back till the day after vacation ended” …MORE
6.
Nickie: “`We have to eat the dog,’ said Hans” …MORE
7.
All for One: “What kind of person would beat a man to death with his bare
hands?” …MORE

10. That was my two-cent’s worth, and I hope you
found it useful and interesting.
Thanks, Oren Shafir
Please visit my blog:
Suspense and horror flash fiction blog
Amazon short story collection
Email me if you have feedback
Or add me to your Google+ circles