How to prevent boundary violations in the digital age?

1. St. Joseph’s Cathedral
Cathedral Confirmation Class – 2Cathedral Confirmation Class – 2ndnd
SemesterSemester
Chapter 4: Circle of Grace - Circle of VirtueChapter 4: Circle of Grace - Circle of Virtue

2. Circle of Grace - Circle of VirtueCircle of Grace - Circle of Virtue
Recognizing and Responding to Boundary ViolationsRecognizing and Responding to Boundary Violations
Poornima D’SouzaPoornima D’Souza
Email:Email: pord_33@yahoo.compord_33@yahoo.com
Twitter & Pinterest: @pord_33Twitter & Pinterest: @pord_33

3. Opening PrayerOpening Prayer
We ask for your guidance and a
little more:
guidance in relationships,
guidance in decisions,
guidance in love, and
guidance in worshiping you.
Amen

4. ReviewReview
Human beings - only creatures on earth that God willed for their own sake
Humans are unique – made in the divine image enabling us to share in
God’s own life
God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created
them; male and female he created them ~ Genesis 1:27
God looked at everything he had made, and found it very good ~ Genesis 1:31
Every human life, from the moment of conception until death, is sacred
because the human person has been willed for its own sake in the image
and likeness of the living and holy God ~ CCC 2319
All persons possess God-given dignity, and inappropriately violating of
the emotional, physical, sexual, and spiritual boundaries of a person is
both harmful and potentially dangerous

5. External
Physical
Sexuall
External
Physical
Sexuall
1. They allow things in, and they keep things out
2. Many times these boundaries interconnect
1. They allow things in, and they keep things out
2. Many times these boundaries interconnect
Internal
Emotional
Spiritual
Internal
Emotional
Spiritual
BoundariesBoundaries
Boundaries works in two ways:Boundaries works in two ways:

6. External
Physical – protects a person’s body
Sexual – protects a person’s sexuality
External
Physical – protects a person’s body
Sexual – protects a person’s sexuality
Internal
Emotional – protects a person’s feelings
Spiritual – protects a persons thinking,
Sense of hope, security trust and
mystery or awe
Internal
Emotional – protects a person’s feelings
Spiritual – protects a persons thinking,
Sense of hope, security trust and
mystery or awe
BoundariesBoundaries
CHURCH
English word

7. ViolationViolation
Circle of Grace- Circle of VirtueCircle of Grace- Circle of Virtue
Interrupting a conversation
Taking personal possessions without the owner’s
permission
Teasing or making fun of others
Asking very personal questions
Gossiping about others
How do people violate an individual’s emotional and physical boundaries ?

8. ViolationViolation
Circle of Grace- Circle of VirtueCircle of Grace- Circle of Virtue
Touching someone’s body without his or her permission
Revealing private information about yourself or others
Constantly hanging around someone else or invading his or her “private
space”
Using offensive, vulgar, or sexually explicit language in another’s presence
Forcing someone into doing something sexual
Physically hurting someone
How do people violate an individual’s emotional and physical boundaries ?

9. Question?
How many of the violations listed in the previous slides are common in the digital age?

10. Talk to your partner – discuss the answer
Report out to the group:
What are some things a person can do to prevent
boundary violations in the digital age?

11. 3 C3 Css3 C3 Css
ContentContentContentContent ContactContactContactContact CommerceCommerceCommerceCommerce
RacismRacismRacismRacism
PornographyPornographyPornographyPornography
InaccurateInaccurate
Info.Info.
InaccurateInaccurate
Info.Info.
Paedophiles inPaedophiles in
chat roomschat rooms
Paedophiles inPaedophiles in
chat roomschat rooms
ThreateningThreatening
e-maile-mail
ThreateningThreatening
e-maile-mail
Invasion ofInvasion of
privacyprivacy
Invasion ofInvasion of
privacyprivacy
Blur linesBlur lines
BetweenBetween
Ad &Content/Ad &Content/
Pop upsPop ups
Blur linesBlur lines
BetweenBetween
Ad &Content/Ad &Content/
Pop upsPop ups
How to prevent boundary violation and be aware of theHow to prevent boundary violation and be aware of the
3Cs3Cs
How to prevent boundary violation and be aware of theHow to prevent boundary violation and be aware of the
3Cs3Cs

12. Tips for SafetyTips for SafetyTips for SafetyTips for Safety
Monitoring Software- chats & websitesMonitoring Software- chats & websites
Discuss Internet Safety with othersDiscuss Internet Safety with others
No Internet access in bedroomsNo Internet access in bedrooms
Bookmark/Favorites - DeliciousBookmark/Favorites - Delicious
Set time limits for computer usageSet time limits for computer usage
Use Filters/Firewalls for safetyUse Filters/Firewalls for safety
Check friends on IM/Social networkingCheck friends on IM/Social networking
How to prevent boundary violation and Tips for SafetyHow to prevent boundary violation and Tips for SafetyHow to prevent boundary violation and Tips for SafetyHow to prevent boundary violation and Tips for Safety

13. Never List OnlineNever List OnlineNever List OnlineNever List Online
Full NameFull Name
Home AddressHome Address
Phone NumbersPhone Numbers
PasswordsPasswords
Mothers Maiden NameMothers Maiden Name
Calling Card NumberCalling Card Number
Social Security NumberSocial Security Number
Parents’ NamesParents’ Names
Parents’ Place of workParents’ Place of work
When/Where you will beWhen/Where you will be
How to prevent boundary violation and be safeHow to prevent boundary violation and be safeHow to prevent boundary violation and be safeHow to prevent boundary violation and be safe

14. Preventing Boundary ViolationPreventing Boundary Violation
Talk with your parents about rules and expectations for
going on-line
Keep your identity private
Never respond to an e-mail, IM, blogs, chat comments,
or newsgroup messages that are hostile or in anyway
make you feel uncomfortable
Never arrange to meet in person with someone you
meet online

15. Some Signs that a person’s boundaries are too openSome Signs that a person’s boundaries are too open
Can’t say, “No”
Shares too much personal information
Takes responsibility for other’s feelings
Allows abuse
Reveals personal thoughts, feelings, or experiences to
acquaintances or strangers
Believes he or she deserves bad treatment
Can’t see flaws in others
Does anything to avoid conflict
Engages in public display of affection

16. Chatting with strangers especially un-moderated ones
People lie about their age and other interests
Flattery/false sense of belonging to make you feel
important
Determined adults can seek abusive relationships
Contacts shift quickly to messaging, email, mobile
phones, meeting in person
Dangers with ChattingDangers with Chatting

17. Some Signs that a person’s boundaries are too openSome Signs that a person’s boundaries are too open
Wears revealing or seductive clothing (includes sagging
pants)
Has sexual encounters with acquaintances or strangers
Stands or sits too close to others
Makes sexual comments, jokes, or noises in public
Trusts strangers
Believes everything he or she hears

18. Some ways of seeking helpSome ways of seeking help
When someone takes advantage of you, try to take
yourself out of the situation
You can free yourself from unhealthy relationships by
seeking help of a trusted adult
Tell someone who can help
Talk to someone you trust – a parent, a professional
counselor, leader, or other adults who will listen and offer
help

19. Some ways of seeking helpSome ways of seeking help
Be honest and admit that something bad happened to
you
Do not hide the secret anymore
You may have normal feelings of fear, anxiety,
depression, or anger

20. Some ways of seeking helpSome ways of seeking help
Talk with a counselor and learn how to deal with these
feelings
Learn to recognize the kinds of people and situations
that can get you in trouble
Avoid or get away from abusive people or negative
environment
Learn how to create and maintain healthy boundaries

21. Closing PrayerClosing Prayer
The one who created the sun and the sky
and filled my heart with love and compassion
is the same One who let me be
and placed me in this world.
God is the answer to all my questions
and fills my mind with thoughts.
God is truly the light of the world,
the light that fills my heart
Amen.

22. Questions or Comments

23. References
 Hahn, S. The Church: Sacrament of Salvation (1998). Didache Series: Midwest Theological
Forum
 wikipedia.org/wiki/Bangalore
 http://www.stjosephcathedral.net/
 https://yhvhshalom.files.wordpress.com/
 http://www.govdelivery.com/
 Catholic diocese of Sioux Falls

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25. THE END.