2. You’ll get to Paris Nord for 2:17pm.

4. You can walk to Paris Est. Train leaves at 3:24pm.

5. Train to Munich Hbf, which’ll arrive at 9:38pm.

7. Train to Praha hlavní nádraží (Praha hl.n), which’ll arrive at 10:58pm.

8. Take the metro (it’s called ‘Metro’, you can’t miss it) to Malostranská.

10. Metro back to Praha hl.n. Train leaves at 10:11am. Train towards Warszawa Wschodnia.

11. Get off at Warszawa Centralna; it’ll arrive at 6:24pm.

12. Take bus 502, 505 or 525 from the station bus stop to Pl. Konstytucji. It’ll cost you like 20p and it’s only 2 stops.

14. Bus/Walk back to Warszawa Centralna. Train leaves at 6:45pm.

15. Train to Amsterdam Centraal, which’ll arrive at 10:49am.

16. Take tram 2, 5 or 16, get off at Museumplein. It’ll take just under 20 minutes.

18. Train to Antwerpen Centraal, which’ll arrive at 1:00pm.

19. Train to Lille Flandres, leaving at 2:05pm and arriving at 3:52pm.

20. Train to Aulnoye Aymeries, leaving at 4:16pm and arriving at 5:28pm.

21. Train to Paris Nord, leaving at 6:02pm and arriving at 7:50pm.

23. Train to Latour de Carol-Enveitg, which’ll leave at 9:56pm. Arrives at 7:51am.

24. Train to Barcelona Sant Andreu Arenal at 8:15am (or 10:31am). Arrives at 11:13am.

25. Follow signs to Fabra i Puig Metro station, then take the Metro Line L1 (the red line) towards Hospital de Bellvitge.

26. Get off after 3 stops, at ‘Clot’. Follow signs to the El Clot-Aragó mainline station.

27. Get the Cercanías R1 (blue line) towards Maçanet.

29. Couchettes. Fold-down bunk beds in a private compartment. You can either book 4 at once (4-berth couchette) or 6 at once (...6-berth couchette). The cheapest normal option.

32. Food: Free breakfast before 9:30am.

33. Lockers: Use safe in reception.

34. Laundry: Suspicious French laundry shop next door.

36. Food: All-you-can-eat breakfast for €3.70.

37. Lockers: Free, in your rooms.

38. Laundry: ‘Available’.

40. Food: Breakfast available ‘on demand’ for 100CZK.

41. Private Kitchen by each room, complete with toaster, washing machine, dryer, iron...

42. Lockers: Free in room, and a safe in reception.

43. Laundry: ‘Available’.

45. Food: Free ‘morning snack’. Free ‘all-you-can-drink’ tea and coffee, 24 hours a day.

46. Communal Kitchen and Common Room

47. Lockers: Free in room, and a safe in reception.

48. Laundry: ‘Available’.

50. Food: Free breakfast.

51. Lockers: Use safe in reception.

52. Laundry: ‘Available’.

54. Food: Full kitchen.

55. Laundry: Washing machine, Iron, Ironing Board.

57. Padlocks. Hostel security lockers don’t lock, and will charge you to hire padlocks unless you bring your own. And it can’t hurt to bring a small one for rucksacks.

58. Torch/LED thing. So you’re not That Guy who turns the lights on when everyone else is asleep.

59. Photocopies of insurance documents, passport, E111, contact details.

60. Sort of Convenient

61. Flip flops. The shower floors will probably be dirtier than your feet.

62. First aid stuff. For playing Doctors and Nurses.

63. Small wallet. You won’t be spending all that much, so it saves messing about with money belts. And if you’re really worried about being targeted as a tourist, just buy a local paper and pretend to read it at opportune moments. Mumble, groan and pretend to be French for maximum effect.

64. Wet stuff. It’ll probably rain for a solid month or something.

65. Duct tape. For kidnapping and fixing things.

66. Shower gel/hand sanitizer. The soap will be so mank.

67. Plastic bags. Hundreds of them.

68. Inflatable Pillow. Will take up no packing space, but will help loads on trains.

69. Totally Pointless

70. Corkscrews, to be friends with your bottle openers.

71. An old camcorder! Go on, it’ll be fun.

72. WIFI devices. Like an iPod. Also, if we can keep in touch by Facebook it’ll be so much cheaper than using phones.

73. Earplugs. For when you want to kill off your snoring friends one by one.

74. Shot glasses and playing cards. Will take up loads of space...but will help loads on trains. Or a travel game if cards aren’t your thing.

75. All of the words to the popular Czech karaoke song “Jožin z bažin”.And don’t take my word for any of that. There are loads of sites with different opinions on what to take, whether or not you should have sleeping bags, and whether it’s better to struggle about with heavy bags or just not to pack any clothes at all, and slowly build up an insulative layer of dried-on sweaty dirt instead.<br />Make that decision yourself. That’s the beauty of this; you’ve probably booked 4 or 5 other people into your room with you, so you can spread all this crap between you and still pack light.<br />Now get on to Deutsche Bahn. +44871 880 8066...“Good luck”.<br />