2. INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION
OUTLINE
Introduction
Define interpersonal communication
Identification of an overarching goal
(OAG)
Definition of enlarging the
conversation
Description of how my background
and behavioral blend influence
conversation (positively and
negatively)
Defining potential barriers in my
interpersonal context
How am I going to deal with each of
my potential barriers
Identify and provide solutions to nose
pollution both internal and external
Plan of action for my overarching goal 2
3. WHAT IS INTERPERSONAL
COMMUNICATION?
The type or kind of communication that happens when
the people involved talk and listen in ways that
maximize the presence of the personal
(Stewart, 2012, p. 36).
Note: When communication emphasizes the persons
involved rather than just their roles or stereotypical
characteristics, interpersonal communication is
happening. In other words when communicators give
and receive or talk and listen in ways that emphasize
their
uniqueness, unmeasureability, responsiveness, reflectiv
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eness, and addressability then the communication
between them is interpersonal.
4. OVERARCHING MASTER GOAL
It is difficult to understand others until we learn
to listen effectively to ourselves
(Burley- Allen, 1995, p.82).
My overarching goal is to become more aware of
my internal thought process which result in
negative conflict, feelings of frustration, stress
and unworthy of what God has for me.
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5. ENLARGING MY CONVERSATION
There’s a direct link between the quality of your
communication and the quality of your life
(Stewart, 2009, p. 6)
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6. ENLARGING MY CONVERSATION CONT.
According to Petersen (2007) our stomachs expand with overload of
mixed emotions
They press the heart into bricks in our chest, sending our relating
abilities south.
The upward expansion flattens our brains, forcing our
thinking, hearing and seeing off kilter.
When our brains are flat, we can’t hear, see, think or act sensibly.
This causes our systems to get out of whack which affects how we
communicate.
(Petersen, 2007, p.23)
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7. Positive Influences
Adjust well
BACKGROUND Family values
African – American Family support
Female Wisdom
Two-parent/working household Intelligent
Youngest of five children Independent
Educated /1st in family
Negative Influences
Discrimination
Not a team player
Too risky
All over the place goal-wise
Soft-spoken 7
8. BEHAVIORAL BLEND
Specific personality pattern of the way I think, act and feel. According to
Carbonell (2008), the model of human behavior are four basic types of
temperament known as the Four Temperament Model of Human
Behavior/ Four “DISC” Personality Types.
D – active/task-oriented I – active/people-oriented
S- passive/people-oriented C-passive/task-oriented
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9. BEHAVIORAL BLEND CONT.
My personality type is determined by two perspectives
(1) my guarded behavior/ what’s expected of me and
(2) the more casual and open part of me/ this is me.
The Uniquely You assessment identified my
behavioral blend as,
“This is expected of me!” I
“This is me!” C/I/S
10. DESCRIPTION OF BEHAVIORAL BLEND
“This is expected of me!” - I “This is me!” - C/I/S
Inspiring Passive
Influencing Outgoing/ Reserved
Humorous Life of the party
Open Like to interact with people
Short-sighted vision I prefer peace and harmony
Interested in people I enjoy organized environments
Inducing Flexible
Standing out in a crowd Need to be more decisive and
(Carbonell, 2008, p. 25 – 27) direct
(Carbonell, 2008, p. 191)
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11. POSITIVE BEHAVIORAL BLEND INFLUENCES
I tend to take the friendly & compliant perspective
Strong personal skills
Very warm on an individual basis
Usually do what I am told
I don’t like coloring outside the lines or cutting corners
I enjoy open conversations and detailed discussions
(Carbonell, 2008, p. 191 – 193)
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12. NEGATIVE BEHAVIORAL BLEND INFLUENCES
Overuse my analytical skills
Lack of being commanding or demanding
I think too much or too long about solving a problem
I tend to be too quiet & humble that no one knows I am present
Struggle with those who want immediate action or answers
I turn people off with my opinions
(Carbonell, 2008, p. 194 - 195
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13. POTENTIAL BARRIERS
Difficult or challenging conversations (Stewart, 2009, p. 95)
Finding my sense of entitlement to speak up
(Stewart, 2009, p. 222)
Negative self-talk (Burley-Allen, 1995, p. 99)
Disclosing myself to others (Stewart, 2012, p. 211)
Fatigue (Burley-Allen, 1995, p. 64 – 65)
Rescuing others (Burley-Allen, 1995, p. 113,
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14. BARRIER SOLUTIONS
Think clearly and honestly about who I am, by strengthening
my foundation
Recognize what matters most
Change negative statement to a positive
Be more willing to share myself with others
Listen at level 2 or make notes (Burley- Allen, 1995, p. 65)
Become aware of “OK” attitudes (Burley-Allen, 1995, p. 37) 14
15. NOISE POLLUTION
Factors that influence us to be distracted from
listening effectively at level 1 (Burley-
Allen, 1995).
Two types of noise pollution
1) Internal Noise
2) External Noise
16. NOISE POLLUTION CONT.
Internal Noise Solutions
Hearing what you want to Not allowing past experiences
hear dictate how I listen
Biased Listening Patience
Emotional Listening Positive
Fatigue Process information better
(Burley- Allen, 1995) (Burley-Allen, 1995)
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17. NOISE POLLUTION CONTINUED
External Noise Solutions
Loud traffic noises Find a peaceful place inside
Views of outside activity or Go to a place where there are
scenery less distractions
Doing two or three things at Focus on one thing at a time
one time Ask for understanding and
Talker speaking too rapidly clarity
(Burley-Allen, 1995)
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18. PLAN OF ACTION
Take a vacation from classes so I can reflect on
what I’ve learned from this course!
Listen with intent.
Paraphrase for clarity
Focus more on the other person
18 Respect what others say is important to them
Manage time better
19. PLAN OF ACTION CONT.
Acquiring a humble spirit
Stand up for myself
Improve my indecisiveness
Begin to demand what’s rightfully mine
Work on managing conflict
Try not to be so intense
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20. CONCLUSION…
It’s easy to overlook oneself and point the finger at others. My
main objective is to do a lot of soul
searching, praying, fasting, whatever it takes to rid myself of
the things that will hinder me from being effective to the
Kingdom of God.
I never imagined that this class would provoke me to dig
deep within me to uncover some of those ugly things that I
knew was there, but never knew how to approach. This
course left me no other choice.
Thank you!
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21. REFERENCES
Burley-Allen, M. (1995). Listening: The forgotten skill: A self-teaching
guide. (2nd ed.). New York: John Wiley & Sons
Carbonell, M. (2008). How to solve the people puzzle: Understanding
personality patterns. Blue Ridge, GA: Uniquely You Resources.
Carbonell, M. (2005). Uniquely You. Retrieved June 27, 2011 from
Uniquely You. https://www.uniquelyyou.com
Peterson, J.C. (2007). Why don’t we listen better? Communicating and
connecting in relationships. Tigard, OR: Peterson Publications.
Stewart, J. (2012). Bridges not walls: A book about interpersonal
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communication. (11th ed.). Boston: McGraw Hill
