1. Self-acceptance is nurtured through recognizing how our life experiences and upbringing shaped who we are, and by understanding that God created us and loves us as we are. 2. We practice self-acceptance by focusing on our strengths rather than weaknesses, learning from mistakes without self-judgment, and handling relationships positively without inner criticism. 3. The advantages of self-acceptance are happiness free from guilt and self-hatred, being kind and compassionate towards others, and finding meaning and fulfillment through relationships with people and God.

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SELF-ACCEPTANCE
Jean-Marie HYACINTHE QUENUM1
,SJ
Each one of us has a unique life historyandaninterior spontaneousaffectivereactiontoit.
We dorememberexterioreventsandsituationsof ourlife historywhethertheywere pleasantor
painful.
These exterioreventsandsituationswere linkedtoparents,grandparents,relatives,acquaintances,
authorityfiguresinschools andfriends.
These personal experiencesof childhood,adolescence andadulthood allow ustoappropriate our
unique wayof evolvinganddevelopingashistorical beings.
The greatestchallenge of humanlife istoacceptthe unique way thatour life historyhasmade us.
We become neurotics andmaladjustedtoourhumanenvironment whenwe rejectthe wayourlife
historyhasmade us.
How we viewourselvesisessential forourphysical,psychological,moral andspiritual health andwell-
being.
The bestway of beinga happyand healthy person istolearnself-acceptance.
Self-acceptance isthe grateful recognitionof ourpersonality,experiences,abilities,heartattitudesand
spiritual giftsthathave shapedourhumanexistence.
By celebratingourunique wayof being,we give glorytoGodandwe love ourselves asGodhas made us
carefullyandwonderfullythroughthe concrete circumstancesof ourlives(Job10,10-12)2
.
How dowe nurture ourself-acceptance?How dowe practice the skill of acceptingourselves?Whatare
the advantagesof beinga self-acceptedperson?
We will deal withthe conceptof self-acceptance byexploring the Hebraic- Christianwayof being
fulfilledbasedonthe recognitionof Godascreator of the worldandof our humanexistence.
Our insighton Hebraic- Christianself-acceptance isrootedonthe faithstatementthatGod createsall
thingsat everymoment. He shapesourpersonhoodandthe waywe live ourhumanness.
1. How do we nurture our self-acceptance?
Our humangrowthdependsonhowwe have beenraisedbyourparents.
1 Jean-Marie HYACINTHE QUENUM is Doctor in Theology and JesuitNovices Master in BAFOUSSAM-Cameroon.
2 “You gave my father strength to beget me; you made me grow in my mother’s womb. You formed my body with
bones and sinews and covered the bones with muscles and skin.You have given me lifeand constantlove.”

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Parentingisof utmostimportance inourhuman growthprocess.Parentingenablesustobecome the
kindof personswe are.
Good and kind parentscommunicate totheirchildrentheirself-worthandencourage themtodevelop
theirhumanpotentialitiesinasupportive environmentof trust, respect, compassion,love andpeace.
Toxicand critical parentsinstill intheirchildrenblame,doubt,self-hatredandshame.
These childrengrowinsecure,abused emotionally andmaladjustedtotheirenvironment.
Theyfeel judgednegativelyandrejected of notbeingsmart, articulatedandattractive.
In orderto nurture self-acceptance,we needtoexperience deeplythe lovethatGodhas for us.
God has a tremendouslove foreachone of hiscreatures especially humanbeingmade intohisimage.
He made themgoodand beautiful andfree torespondto hislovingcare.
Accordingto the Scripture,Godis the one whogivestohuman beings,breath,lightandmovement (Acts
17, 28).
At everymomentof theirhumanexistence,God constantly caresforthem(Psalm139).
He chose forthemtheirbirthplaces,theirbirthdates,theirsex,theirethnicgroup,theircities andthe
circumstancesof theirhumangrowth.
Self-acceptance startswith the recognitionthatGodinhis love andwisdomshapesthe worldof our
humanexistence.
God isour creator (Isaiah45, 7-13; Ephesians2, 1-10).
He keepscreatingusthroughthe developmentof ourabilitiesandtalentswhichare hisgifts.
Self-acceptance requiresreverence toGod’sgiftsbyusingthemas goodstewardsof hiscreation.
2. How do we practice the skillsof self-acceptance
The abilitytopractice self-acceptance isdeterminedbythe factthatwe focus onour strengthinsteadof
our shortcomings.
By celebratingourstrength,we recognizeourpersonal worthandwe value ourachievementsin
accomplishingourgoalsandthe life difficultieswe have overcome.
Self-acceptedpeople learnfromtheirmistakesandacceptthe issuesof life theycannotchange.
Theyare reconciledwiththeirpastandlearnto move on.By lettinggothe past, theyare more alertand
more alive toseize the presentmoment.
Self-acceptedpeople donotallowintheirlives,self-judgment,self-hatred,blameanddoubt.

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Theyare more positive andtheyavoidnegative talk,innercriticismandidealizedgoals.
Self –acceptedpersonsare individualswhohandle effectivelytheirinterpersonalrelationshipsbybeing
faithful tothe guidingpurpose of theirlives.Theyare goal-orientedpeople.Theyare aware of their
intrinsicworthanddignity. Theyhave the abilitytocommunicateintelligently,honestlyand responsibly.
Theyare opento theirinherentneeds.3
Theytake care of theirsurvival andwell-being.Theygrow
throughthe love relationships theydevelopwiththe partnersof life(parents,friends,co-workers,fellow
humanbeings…)
3. The advantages of beinga self-accepted person
Self-acceptance isthe roadto happinessandlife freeof self-hatred.
By fullyacceptingoneself,aself-acceptedpersonleadsalife freeof guilt,of jealousyandof contemptof
oneself.
The self-acceptedpersoniskind,generous, empathic,compassionate andfull of self-love.
The self-acceptedpersonisaware of hisfinite beingandhe seekscompletenessinreachingoutother
humanfellowsforcreative interactions.
By transcendingthe self,the self-acceptedpersonsearchesfordivinerelationship inwhichthe meaning
of life isgiven.
The self-acceptedpersonfindsinrelationshipwithGodforgivenessforhislimitationsandthe promiseof
eternal life beyonddeath.
Concludingremarks
Self-acceptance isthe feelingof beinganactualizedpersoninthe termsof the humanisticpsychologyof
AbrahamMaslow.
The self-acceptedpersonisthe one whose self-worthisrecognizedwithinthe corporate grouptowhich
He or She belongs.
Safe and fulfilledthe self-acceptedpersonfindsJoyandpeace inrelationshipwithfellow humanbeings
and God.
The self-acceptedpersonfeelsfulfilledwithparents,spouse,friendsandall people.
As an actualizedperson,the self-acceptedpersonisnotafraidof othernessandtogetherness.
3 Air, drink,food, rest, sleep, movement, exercises,cleanliness,fellowship,communication, loveand sex.

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