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By: Premala Nair Krishnakutty 
Summary from 
ENGLISH FOR WRITING RESEARCH PAPERS by 
adrian.wallwork@gmail.com.
3.0 Why this chapter is important? 
 Short sentences earns more readers 
 Your journal will be immediately catch the referees 
eyes and the chances to be published will be more 
 In this chapter, we will learn how to make short 
sentences
3.1 Think above all about the reader 
 All readers prefer sentences that they: 
 Only need to read once 
 They don’t have to read it slowly has it does not require 
intense concentration 
 Can understand writers logic by reading or process, word by 
word rather than understanding it at the end of the sentences 
 The average length of the sentences becoming shorter and 
shorter over the centuries 
 During Shakespeare’s  45 words 
 150 years ago  29 words 
 Today’s experts 15 and 18 words
3.2 The longer your sentence, the greater 
the chance it will be misunderstood 
 Below shows example of a sentence where the referee has 
rejected and asked the author to write something sensible:- 
“Even if the occurrence of this particular form of pulmonary tumor occurs 
on a rare basis, since the behavior of these tumors is extremely 
difficult to predict and the histological features resembling a discrete 
cell tumor may lead to misdiagnose a C2 tumor as a C1 tumor, it 
would be of interest to characterize those lesions and to take them into 
account in the differential diagnosis of hereditary or congenital tumors.”
3.2 The longer your sentence, the greater 
the chance it will be misunderstood 
 From the referee’s point of view, this sentence make no sense as 
for them usually, they do not have enough time to interpret the 
authors trying to explain thus they need simplified version of the 
content 
 The author then rewrote the sentence as shown below:- 
“This particular form of pulmonary tumor appears to be extremely 
rare. Its behavior is extremely difficult to predict. Moreover, the 
histological features, which resemble a discrete cell tumor, may mean that 
a C2 tumor is misdiagnosed as a C1 tumor. It would thus be interesting to 
characterize these lesions and to take them into account in the 
differential diagnosis of hereditary or congenital tumors.”
3.2 The longer your sentence, the greater 
the chance it will be misunderstood 
 The authors view is more clear when the sentences has 
been break down to 11, 7, 22 and 24 words, making a 
total of 64 words as the original version was 71 words 
 There are few more example in the book, you may refer 
the diagram, showing the original and revised version
3.3 Short sentences are not a sign of 
inelegance and superficiality 
 Some non-native researchers feels that they couldn’t express themselves as they would by 
using their own language 
 Humanity and social sciences author usually expresses opinions rather than hard facts 
 A survey has been done by author to PhD students before the writing course, particular 
students expresses view as below: 
 Question: What for you is the most difficult aspect of writing in English? 
 In Art History, long sentences used to descriptions, attributions and reasons 
 Hard to translate an article into English because of difficulty in choosing the right 
words 
 Sometimes the student feels she lose some shades of meaning 
 long sentences are NOT ‘absolutely necessary’ 
 E.g. : the Viennese art historian, Ernst Gombrich wrote many of his books in English 
rather than in his native German 
 most widely accessible art history books ever published, because it is written in 
a clear, simple, unpretentious style 
 After 4 years, the author contacted the student to check whether he could use her quote 
about art history in this book. 
 Since the writing course she managed to write 7 books in English 
 She now writes directly in English using simpler way to get her work published
3.4 Why and how long sentences are 
created 
 Long sentences contain one or more of the following: 
 a link word/phrase (e.g. and, moreover, in fact, etc) 
 a list of items, most of which are qualified (e.g. specifying a characteristics) 
 one or more semicolon or colon 
 also caused by adding too many parts to the main clause 
 S1: We did several surveys, which all gave the same result. 
(Easy to read) 
 S2: We did several surveys aimed at investigating whether stress increases in 
proportion to the number of children a couple has and each survey led to the same 
result, i.e. that there is no correlation, thus confirming the hypothesis that stress in 
the family is generally connected to factors other than size. 
(Possible to understand on a first reading but reader might want to 
divide it Into 3 parts to get better understanding) 
 S3: We did several surveys aimed at investigating whether stress increases in 
proportion to the number of children a couple has. Each survey led to the same 
result, i.e. that there is no correlation. This confirmed the hypothesis that stress in 
the family is generally connected to factors other than size. 
(Reader can understand easily because it is written in 3 blocks clearly)
3.5 And 
 And is used in 2 different ways 
 to join two verbs (speak and write) and two nouns (English and Italian) 
 to add additional information (and that this is true .. and to this end) 
 Eg1: Using “AND” creating long sentences 
 In this comparison the RV replaces first and with full stop to reduce the length 
 The second and cannot be simply replaced with full stop instead it is replaced with also
3.6 as well as 
 Used to add some additional info 
 Used as alternative for and 
 If use as well as, it will make longer sentences so it is better to break the 
sentences 
 However, cannot start a sentence using as well as instead we need to repeat 
some part
3.7 Other link words that introduce additional 
information: moreover, in addition, furthermore 
 these words have similar meaning as “and”
3.8 Link words that compare and contrast: whereas, 
on the other hand; although, however 
 take note that not all link words can be used at the beginning of a sentence 
 this example shows the usage of although and however 
 some link words such as because, since, as are used in the middle of sentences, when you 
split the sentences, it cannot be used to begin the sentence
3.9 Link words that give explanations: 
because, since, as, in fact 
 Words like since and although are usually used in a subordinate clause 
at the beginning of the sentences 
 When use since at the beginning of a sentence, we should have some 
idea on how it relates to the main clause
3.9 Link words that give explanations: 
because, since, as, in fact 
 words like since and as also require a dependent 
clause, look below example
3.10 Link words that express consequences: owing to, 
due to, as a result of, consequently, thus etc. 
 These words are used to explain or describe something, example show 
as below 
Split into 3 
to get 
clearer 
picture
3.11 Which and relative clauses 
 used to add information
3.11 Which and relative 
clauses 
 When the sentences are long, it will be difficult to understand, example as below 
Original Version (ov) 
English is now the world’s international 
language and is studied by more than 
a billion people in various parts of the 
world thus giving rise to an industry of 
English language textbooks and teachers, 
which explains why in so many schools 
and universities in countries where English 
is not the mother tongue it is taught as the 
first foreign language in preference to, for 
example, Spanish or Chinese, which are two 
languages that have more native speakers 
than English. 
Revised Version (rv) 
English is now the world’s international 
language and is studied by more than 
a billion people in various parts of the 
world thus giving rise to an industry of 
English language textbooks and teachers. 
This explains why in so many schools and 
universities in countries where English is 
not the mother tongue it is taught as the first 
foreign language. For example, English is 
taught in preference to Spanish or Chinese, 
which are two languages that have more 
native speakers than English. 
Using THIS 
either 
standalone or 
with a noun it 
help to 
reduce the 
length of the 
sentence
3.11 Which and relative 
clauses 
 More example using which
3.12 - ing form 
 Used to link phrases which will make the sentences longer 
 Another word can be used to form a new sentence 
original version (ov) 
Using automatic translation software (e.g. 
Google Translate, Babelfish, and Systran) 
can considerably ease the work of researchers 
when they need to translate documents thus 
saving them money (for example the fee 
they might have otherwise had to pay to a 
professional translator) and increasing the 
amount of time they have to spend in the 
laboratory rather than at the PC. 
revised version (rv) 
Using automatic translation software 
(e.g. Google Translate, Babelfish, and 
Systran) can considerably ease the work 
of researchers when they need to translate 
documents. Such software saves them 
money, for example the fee they might 
have otherwise had to pay to a professional 
translator. It also increases the amount of 
time they have to spend in the laboratory 
rather than at the PC.
3.13 in order to 
 Used to express rationale of a procedure or line 
 If rationale is more than 15 words, need to split it to a new 
sentences
3.13 in order to 
 Two technique used in RV 
- either say what you did and then why you did it 
-or give your rationale and then say what you did
3.14 Excessive numbers of 
commas 
 Commas used to lists (OK) 
 Commas used in sentence, make the sentence longer, as shown below 
original version (ov) 
As a preliminary study, in an attempt to 
establish a relationship between document 
length and level of bureaucracy, we analyzed 
the length of 50 European Union documents, 
written in seven of the official languages 
of the EU, to confirm whether documents, 
such as reports regarding legislative and 
administrative issues, vary substantially in 
length from one language to another, and 
whether this could be related, in some way, 
to the length of time typically needed to 
carry out daily administrative tasks in those 
countries (e.g. withdrawing money from 
a bank account, setting up bill payments 
with utility providers, understanding the 
clauses of an insurance contract). The results 
showed that … 
revised version (rv) 
Our aim was to see if there is a direct 
relationship between the length of 
documents produced in a country, and the 
length it takes to do simple bureaucratic 
tasks in that country. Our hypothesis was: 
the longer document, the greater the level of 
bureaucracy. 
In our preliminary study we analyzed 
translations from English into seven of the 
official languages of the European Union. 
We chose 50 documents, mostly regarding 
legislative and administrative issues. We 
then looked at the length of time typically 
needed to carry out daily administrative tasks 
in those countries. The tasks we selected 
were withdrawing money from a bank 
account, setting up bill payments with utility 
providers, and understanding the clauses of 
an insurance contract. 
The results showed that ... 
Lazy 
writing 
More 
words, 
easier 
to 
follow 
Logical 
order and 
separate 
sentences 
1.Rationale 
2. Investigation 
3. Connection
3.15 Semicolons 
 Not commonly used 
 Instead replace it with full stop 
 Semicolon also do make the sentence long
3.16 Semicolons in lists 
 Only use when dividing lists where the lists relates to 
each other 
S1: *The partners in the various projects are A, B and C, 
P and Q, X and Y and Z. 
S2: The partners in the various projects are A, B and C; 
P and Q; X; and Y and Z.
3.17 Phrases in parentheses 
 Do not use it unless to list 
 It also make the sentences longer 
 Should be avoided to give explanations or examples
3.18 Summary 
 Doesn’t matter if your sentence is short the information will still be the 
same 
 The slides above teaches you on how to make reader understand on the 
first reading 
 To increase readability 
 don’t separate the subject from its verb using more than 8–10 words 
 avoid adding extra information to the end of the main clause, if the main 
clause is already about 15–20 words long 
 check to make sure that a sentence has a maximum of 30 words, and don’t 
use more than three or four 30-word sentences in the whole paper 
 consider beginning a new sentence if the original sentence is long and 
contains one or more of the following (or equivalents): and, which, a link 
word, the -ing form, in order to 
 maximize the use of periods (.). Use the minimum number of commas (,), 
avoid semicolons (;) and parentheses 
 don’t worry about repeating key words. If dividing up a long sentence 
into shorter sentences means that you have to repeat key words, this is not a 
problem.

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Chapter 3 Breaking up long sentences (ENGLISH FOR WRITING RESEARCH PAPERS)

  • 1. By: Premala Nair Krishnakutty Summary from ENGLISH FOR WRITING RESEARCH PAPERS by adrian.wallwork@gmail.com.
  • 2. 3.0 Why this chapter is important?  Short sentences earns more readers  Your journal will be immediately catch the referees eyes and the chances to be published will be more  In this chapter, we will learn how to make short sentences
  • 3. 3.1 Think above all about the reader  All readers prefer sentences that they:  Only need to read once  They don’t have to read it slowly has it does not require intense concentration  Can understand writers logic by reading or process, word by word rather than understanding it at the end of the sentences  The average length of the sentences becoming shorter and shorter over the centuries  During Shakespeare’s  45 words  150 years ago  29 words  Today’s experts 15 and 18 words
  • 4. 3.2 The longer your sentence, the greater the chance it will be misunderstood  Below shows example of a sentence where the referee has rejected and asked the author to write something sensible:- “Even if the occurrence of this particular form of pulmonary tumor occurs on a rare basis, since the behavior of these tumors is extremely difficult to predict and the histological features resembling a discrete cell tumor may lead to misdiagnose a C2 tumor as a C1 tumor, it would be of interest to characterize those lesions and to take them into account in the differential diagnosis of hereditary or congenital tumors.”
  • 5. 3.2 The longer your sentence, the greater the chance it will be misunderstood  From the referee’s point of view, this sentence make no sense as for them usually, they do not have enough time to interpret the authors trying to explain thus they need simplified version of the content  The author then rewrote the sentence as shown below:- “This particular form of pulmonary tumor appears to be extremely rare. Its behavior is extremely difficult to predict. Moreover, the histological features, which resemble a discrete cell tumor, may mean that a C2 tumor is misdiagnosed as a C1 tumor. It would thus be interesting to characterize these lesions and to take them into account in the differential diagnosis of hereditary or congenital tumors.”
  • 6. 3.2 The longer your sentence, the greater the chance it will be misunderstood  The authors view is more clear when the sentences has been break down to 11, 7, 22 and 24 words, making a total of 64 words as the original version was 71 words  There are few more example in the book, you may refer the diagram, showing the original and revised version
  • 7. 3.3 Short sentences are not a sign of inelegance and superficiality  Some non-native researchers feels that they couldn’t express themselves as they would by using their own language  Humanity and social sciences author usually expresses opinions rather than hard facts  A survey has been done by author to PhD students before the writing course, particular students expresses view as below:  Question: What for you is the most difficult aspect of writing in English?  In Art History, long sentences used to descriptions, attributions and reasons  Hard to translate an article into English because of difficulty in choosing the right words  Sometimes the student feels she lose some shades of meaning  long sentences are NOT ‘absolutely necessary’  E.g. : the Viennese art historian, Ernst Gombrich wrote many of his books in English rather than in his native German  most widely accessible art history books ever published, because it is written in a clear, simple, unpretentious style  After 4 years, the author contacted the student to check whether he could use her quote about art history in this book.  Since the writing course she managed to write 7 books in English  She now writes directly in English using simpler way to get her work published
  • 8. 3.4 Why and how long sentences are created  Long sentences contain one or more of the following:  a link word/phrase (e.g. and, moreover, in fact, etc)  a list of items, most of which are qualified (e.g. specifying a characteristics)  one or more semicolon or colon  also caused by adding too many parts to the main clause  S1: We did several surveys, which all gave the same result. (Easy to read)  S2: We did several surveys aimed at investigating whether stress increases in proportion to the number of children a couple has and each survey led to the same result, i.e. that there is no correlation, thus confirming the hypothesis that stress in the family is generally connected to factors other than size. (Possible to understand on a first reading but reader might want to divide it Into 3 parts to get better understanding)  S3: We did several surveys aimed at investigating whether stress increases in proportion to the number of children a couple has. Each survey led to the same result, i.e. that there is no correlation. This confirmed the hypothesis that stress in the family is generally connected to factors other than size. (Reader can understand easily because it is written in 3 blocks clearly)
  • 9. 3.5 And  And is used in 2 different ways  to join two verbs (speak and write) and two nouns (English and Italian)  to add additional information (and that this is true .. and to this end)  Eg1: Using “AND” creating long sentences  In this comparison the RV replaces first and with full stop to reduce the length  The second and cannot be simply replaced with full stop instead it is replaced with also
  • 10. 3.6 as well as  Used to add some additional info  Used as alternative for and  If use as well as, it will make longer sentences so it is better to break the sentences  However, cannot start a sentence using as well as instead we need to repeat some part
  • 11. 3.7 Other link words that introduce additional information: moreover, in addition, furthermore  these words have similar meaning as “and”
  • 12. 3.8 Link words that compare and contrast: whereas, on the other hand; although, however  take note that not all link words can be used at the beginning of a sentence  this example shows the usage of although and however  some link words such as because, since, as are used in the middle of sentences, when you split the sentences, it cannot be used to begin the sentence
  • 13. 3.9 Link words that give explanations: because, since, as, in fact  Words like since and although are usually used in a subordinate clause at the beginning of the sentences  When use since at the beginning of a sentence, we should have some idea on how it relates to the main clause
  • 14. 3.9 Link words that give explanations: because, since, as, in fact  words like since and as also require a dependent clause, look below example
  • 15. 3.10 Link words that express consequences: owing to, due to, as a result of, consequently, thus etc.  These words are used to explain or describe something, example show as below Split into 3 to get clearer picture
  • 16. 3.11 Which and relative clauses  used to add information
  • 17. 3.11 Which and relative clauses  When the sentences are long, it will be difficult to understand, example as below Original Version (ov) English is now the world’s international language and is studied by more than a billion people in various parts of the world thus giving rise to an industry of English language textbooks and teachers, which explains why in so many schools and universities in countries where English is not the mother tongue it is taught as the first foreign language in preference to, for example, Spanish or Chinese, which are two languages that have more native speakers than English. Revised Version (rv) English is now the world’s international language and is studied by more than a billion people in various parts of the world thus giving rise to an industry of English language textbooks and teachers. This explains why in so many schools and universities in countries where English is not the mother tongue it is taught as the first foreign language. For example, English is taught in preference to Spanish or Chinese, which are two languages that have more native speakers than English. Using THIS either standalone or with a noun it help to reduce the length of the sentence
  • 18. 3.11 Which and relative clauses  More example using which
  • 19. 3.12 - ing form  Used to link phrases which will make the sentences longer  Another word can be used to form a new sentence original version (ov) Using automatic translation software (e.g. Google Translate, Babelfish, and Systran) can considerably ease the work of researchers when they need to translate documents thus saving them money (for example the fee they might have otherwise had to pay to a professional translator) and increasing the amount of time they have to spend in the laboratory rather than at the PC. revised version (rv) Using automatic translation software (e.g. Google Translate, Babelfish, and Systran) can considerably ease the work of researchers when they need to translate documents. Such software saves them money, for example the fee they might have otherwise had to pay to a professional translator. It also increases the amount of time they have to spend in the laboratory rather than at the PC.
  • 20. 3.13 in order to  Used to express rationale of a procedure or line  If rationale is more than 15 words, need to split it to a new sentences
  • 21. 3.13 in order to  Two technique used in RV - either say what you did and then why you did it -or give your rationale and then say what you did
  • 22. 3.14 Excessive numbers of commas  Commas used to lists (OK)  Commas used in sentence, make the sentence longer, as shown below original version (ov) As a preliminary study, in an attempt to establish a relationship between document length and level of bureaucracy, we analyzed the length of 50 European Union documents, written in seven of the official languages of the EU, to confirm whether documents, such as reports regarding legislative and administrative issues, vary substantially in length from one language to another, and whether this could be related, in some way, to the length of time typically needed to carry out daily administrative tasks in those countries (e.g. withdrawing money from a bank account, setting up bill payments with utility providers, understanding the clauses of an insurance contract). The results showed that … revised version (rv) Our aim was to see if there is a direct relationship between the length of documents produced in a country, and the length it takes to do simple bureaucratic tasks in that country. Our hypothesis was: the longer document, the greater the level of bureaucracy. In our preliminary study we analyzed translations from English into seven of the official languages of the European Union. We chose 50 documents, mostly regarding legislative and administrative issues. We then looked at the length of time typically needed to carry out daily administrative tasks in those countries. The tasks we selected were withdrawing money from a bank account, setting up bill payments with utility providers, and understanding the clauses of an insurance contract. The results showed that ... Lazy writing More words, easier to follow Logical order and separate sentences 1.Rationale 2. Investigation 3. Connection
  • 23. 3.15 Semicolons  Not commonly used  Instead replace it with full stop  Semicolon also do make the sentence long
  • 24. 3.16 Semicolons in lists  Only use when dividing lists where the lists relates to each other S1: *The partners in the various projects are A, B and C, P and Q, X and Y and Z. S2: The partners in the various projects are A, B and C; P and Q; X; and Y and Z.
  • 25. 3.17 Phrases in parentheses  Do not use it unless to list  It also make the sentences longer  Should be avoided to give explanations or examples
  • 26. 3.18 Summary  Doesn’t matter if your sentence is short the information will still be the same  The slides above teaches you on how to make reader understand on the first reading  To increase readability  don’t separate the subject from its verb using more than 8–10 words  avoid adding extra information to the end of the main clause, if the main clause is already about 15–20 words long  check to make sure that a sentence has a maximum of 30 words, and don’t use more than three or four 30-word sentences in the whole paper  consider beginning a new sentence if the original sentence is long and contains one or more of the following (or equivalents): and, which, a link word, the -ing form, in order to  maximize the use of periods (.). Use the minimum number of commas (,), avoid semicolons (;) and parentheses  don’t worry about repeating key words. If dividing up a long sentence into shorter sentences means that you have to repeat key words, this is not a problem.