2016 strategic sharing
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2016 strategic sharing
- 1. Sharing Your Story WITH a purpose, FOR a purpose… Purposeful Sharing Workshop developed by ACTION Ohio Alumni of Care Together Improving Outcomes Now
- 2. Alumni of Care Together Improving Outcomes Now We bring together the voices of foster care youth, alumni and allies, to create lasting change and generate hope for current and former foster youth, based on access to resources, ally support and alumni expertise.
- 3. Today’s Topics: • History of Consumer/Social Movements • Importance of Youth/Alumni Voice • Risks and Benefits of Sharing Your Story • Planning Ahead About What to Disclose, and What to Keep Private • Avoiding Being Misrepresented or Misunderstood
- 4. Consumer & Social Movements • Civil rights movement • Women’s suffrage • Disability rights • Faith movements • GLBTQ
- 5. Where Was Your Voice? • Design • Delivery • Evaluation Foster Care Alumni of America’s “Culture of Foster Care” Postcard Project
- 6. Foster Care Movement • Youth in Care Network (Canada) • California Youth Connection • Statewide youth advisory boards • Foster Care Alumni of America • International foster care movement
- 7. Risks of sharing our personal stories Foster Care Alumni of America’s “Culture of Foster Care” Postcard Project
- 10. Power of stories
- 11. How much of your story should you share?
- 12. Self Disclosure
- 13. Being Misrepresented or Misperceived Double-bind: The very thing that makes us credible… “I am not a tragedy” Not defined by what happened to me
- 14. Talking to the media “If It Bleeds, It Leads” Drew Barrymore syndrome
- 15. • Judgment • Pity • Retaliation • Predators • Stereotype • Stigma
- 17. Sharing Effectively • What do you want to accomplish? • What meaning did this experience have for you? • Share Best Practices and success stories (not just horror stories) • Tell your story from a place of strength, not blame
- 18. Be Prepared • Do your research • Decide what you will and won’t share • Narrow your topic • Outline the main points • Know the statistics • Practice and rehearse • Focus on: hook, closing
- 19. Be Professional • Dress the part • Poise • Preparation • No candy • Be united • Treat others with respect
- 20. If you feel nervous • Before: Excitement and fear affect the body in the same way! • After: Physiological let- down: recuperate afterwards
- 21. During the event • Focus on what you want to achieve • Make eye contact • Pay attention to your breathing • Use visuals • “I would like to tell you a story” (Tell the audience to close their eyes)
- 22. Back-up Plan - If your emotions show through.. - If someone asks you a question that you aren’t comfortable sharing…
- 23. Handling Q & A • Repeat the question • “That’s a good question” • Generalize to the BIG picture, if too personal • Experts in the room
- 24. What’s foster care like from YOUR point of view??? Choose – Connect - Claim
- 25. Source: Voices of Youth
- 26. Source: Honoring Emancipated Youth Youth Serving Agencies Youth Led Agencies Youth are viewed as the recipients of programs, services, tools and resources. Youth act as developers , facilitators and evaluators of programs and services. Youth are showcased as a “Success Story” to promote a program. Youth act as agency representatives, and promote positive impact to community. Youth receive pre-packaged issues and topics. Youth have the opportunity to research multiple issues and decide on final projects Youth do not receive formal education or training about advocacy movements and systemic change. Youth receive strategic education and training about advocacy and its impact on larger social issues and systems.
Notes de l'éditeur
- Each of these consumer and social movements have left their fingerprints on our lives The idea behind consumer movements is that the consumers of a service should be involved in its design and delivery, and should be given opportunities to evaluate their experience. We are the consumers of foster care/adoption, and any time that a new law is passed that effects foster care, it needs our input Consumers of a service should be involved in its: (WHITEBOARD) • Design • Delivery • Evaluation
- The idea behind consumer movements is that the consumers of a service should be involved in its design and delivery, and should be given opportunities to evaluate their experience. We are the consumers of foster care, and any time that a new law is passed that effects foster care, it needs our input Consumers of a service should be involved in its: (WHITEBOARD) • Design • Delivery • Evaluation
- LISA: History of foster care movement: Canadian Youth in Care (CYC) now called the Youth in Care Network – led to the creation of California Youth Connection (CYC) The success of the California Youth Connection led to legislation requiring states to create youth advisory boards The need for foster care alumni to ALWAYS have a voice and community that they can never “age out” of led to Foster Care Alumni of America Foster Care Alumni of America is a national organization, created in May 2006 There is an international foster care movement as well
- WHITEBOARD: Potential benefits of sharing: Public awareness, advocacy, ability to change public policy, empowerment of youth/alumni, self-acceptance, healing, challenge stigmas, belonging and normalcy, help others feel less isolated and alone, reclaim and reframe our experiences by telling the story in a different way
- Attribution theory: How you interpret events affects how you respond to them.
- Stories are: Memorable and compelling. They put a human face on issues, needs, and problems. Stories can influence public opinion and public policy They can motivate change and inspire people to action They engage the imagination of the audience, and help them see new possibilities and opportunities Personal growth and self understanding Connect with other people Change in our lives and the lives of others Affirm cultural identity .
- BOUNDARIES --- HIDDEN RULES – BALANCE OF SHARING Relationships are based on underlying assumptions about what is or is not appropriate to say or do given the nature of a relationship. The definition of “boundary” is a border or a limit. There are physical boundaries, like a state line or a property line between houses so you know where your yard ends and your neighbor’s begins. Questions to ask yourself: What type of relationship is this? What is the time frame for this relationship? Is sharing equal in this relationship? Are there things that you would like to say in this relationship, but you don’t or feel you can’t? Do you feel that your own boundaries are respected in this relationship? Whenever possible, balance self-disclosure by inviting audience members to introduce themselves and share from their own experiences.
- Self-disclosure is a lot like clothing. We dress to be comfortable with ourselves and around other people. We dress to present ourselves a certain way, and we usually are more comfortable when we’re dressed for the occasion — meaning that we fit in with the way everyone else is dressed. If we do dress differently from others, we want that to be our choice. Have you ever had the experience of arriving dressed up at an event you thought was formal only to find everyone else in shorts and jeans? Or the other way around? Likewise, we share information about ourselves in order to present ourselves in a certain way and fit in comfortably with other people. We’re usually most comfortable when the level of self-disclosure is balanced. Sometimes when we share to educate, inform, and influence, the self-disclosure is not balanced and it can feel like showing up wearing the wrong clothes. If you don’t plan out what you will and will not share ahead of time, you run the risk of experiencing sharer’s remorse. Sharer’s remorse is like a ‘self-disclosure hangover.’ Because, it’s your life, but to them it’s just a story. If you share too much, that story might be later used against you. Bringing up certain memories can be painful. Listeners might feel sorry for us or decide that we are not credible if we display an excess of emotions when we share.
- Double-bind: The very thing that makes us credible to some people (our first-hand experience) may make us not credible to others "We know that there are major (and often lasting) emotional and behavioral consequences of the experiences we’ve faced, but it’s important for the people who care for us to remember that we are adjusting to our lives and attaching to people as well as we can, based on what our experiences have taught us. Please don’t assume we are broken just because our lives have been."
- Talking to the Media: Make your answers short and sweet – get to the heart of your story. Be aware that journalists tend to have a thesis that they are trying to prove. Watch out for slanted questions. If they ask questions that you feel uncomfortable answering, redirect to statistics. If It Bleeds, It Leads. “The question is what do people need to know, what do they want to know, what do they have the right to know, and if we report this, what are the consequences.” (Keith Connors, News Director)
- Risks of sharing: Judgment, re-victimization, retaliation from others, re-opening emotional wounds, pity, being exploited, being “pimped,” people might try to take emotional or sexual advantage of you, undermining your professional credentials, making you subject to scrutiny, promoting the stereotype by focusing too much on the negative
- “Strategic sharing” is making thoughtful choices about how we will tell our life stories so that our voices can be heard, we are effective, and our well being is protected. Strategic sharing is constructive, respectful, and safe. But it does require work on your part, to plan ahead of time.
- ROLEPLAY Tips for sharing effectively: Know what you want to accomplish by sharing, be prepared to share Best Practices and success stories (not just horror stories), don’t tell your story from a place of blame, always start from a place of strength Ask yourself: Where does your motivation come from? What is unique about my story? What lessons can I share from what happened in my life?
- Prepare ahead of time: Choose: What information you will and will not share. Connect: Know who your audience is and what you want them to learn Claim: The meaning the experience had for you, how it influenced your thinking and values, how telling this story makes you fell Select a subject that will interest your audience and that you know something about and feel comfortable discussing. Be willing to do additional research beyond your initial experiences. Talk about broader perspective: What are the statistics? Was your experience common?
- Role play DC trip – how we treat hotel staff reflects on the movement
- Before and After the Event: Before the event, you might experience nervousness. Excitement and fear affect the body in a similar way. - After the event, there may be a physiological “let-down.” Take time to recuperate afterwards.
- During the Event: - Focus on what you want out of this event - Pay attention to your body and breathing - Eye contact with key people in the audience (friendly faces) - Use visuals as a focal point to take the eyes off you - Keep an emotional balance (don’t over/under-emote) - “I would like to tell you a story, and I’d like you to close your eyes…”
- Redirect to big picture and stats, if asked too personal question You don’t want the audience to feel sorry for you. You do want them to feel inspired to go out and DO something. This is how we fix it and make it better. If your emotions become obvious as you are sharing, name your emotion and connect it to your purpose for sharing. For example, you could say something like: “It is difficult to talk about this because I will always feel sad about what happened. I’m sharing it with you, though, because I believe it’s important to understand...” and then continue with a statement of your purpose.
- Repeat the question; if it was rude, restate it in a nice way. Make questioners feel good about themselves: “That’s a good question.” If off-topic, restate your purpose and move on. “Thanks for your comments; there’s so much we could talk about; let’s focus our attention on our purpose for gathering today, which is...” If too personal, it’s always an option to decline to answer. “That’s something I’d prefer not to discuss,” or, “That’s something I’ll keep private. Thanks for understanding. Next question?” If you don’t know, “I know we have a lot of expertise in this room… Does anyone else want to answer that question?”
- CHOOSE – what to share CONNECT – with your audience CLAIM – what the experience meant to you
- Older adolescents have six interrelated jobs to accomplish during this stage of their lives: • Increase and maintain knowledge of self and self-esteem. • Learn to be increasingly responsible and make complex decisions. • Set goals and develop strategies to reach them. • Become increasingly independent from parents. • Develop strong relationship skills. • Increase interpersonal communications skills. Today these life skills are still necessary. If we expect youth to go into adulthood in a positive way, we can plan experiences to help them perform the jobs listed above. Have a well-planned program. Such a program requires good organization, strong leadership, and exciting, imaginative programs that are connected with your members’ lives, needs and interests. Set clear, simple and consistent behavioral expectations and consequences. All individuals need to know the results of their actions. When working with young people, it is essential that expectations and consequences be clear, easily understood and consistent. Provide individual attention to your members. Public recognition of positive behavior.