16. S: if she wants to V: you want the kids to come down? V: how about Helen (ex-wife)? S: If they want to
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19. ANCHOR In circumstances of uncertainty, the negotiator who makes the first offer sets the top of the bargaining range, which acts as an anchor that exerts a powerful influence on the outcome throughout the negotiation. Image credit istockphoto.com 2010
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30. tit for tat S is for Shakedown Artist copyright 2010 Reason Press
ASK: We’re lawyers, business women, artists, editors, financial gurus, and entrepreneurs. And yet we hesitate to ask for higher fees, promotions, bonuses, flex-time, more staff, and better access to power. Most men don’t have a problem saying “I want a new Porsche or a corner office or YOUR clients.” Men tend to measure their worth by what they can get. We measure ours by what we need.
Keeping the bar low hurts all of us. We have this in common with men – we want parity. And when we look around to see whether we’ve got it, we compare ourselves to our women friends, not our male colleagues and we feel good about our income even though it’s 30% lower than our market value.
Some of us see-saw here – knowing our male peers are doing better but not wanting to rock the boat or call attention to ourselves or appear greedy or step over the lines
And this is particularly true in this economy because we’re working harder for less – productivity is up – unemployment is flat – profits are up but everyone keeps telling us they can’t give us more because the economy is bad
We’re limited by ourselves
So we’re stuck here
When’s the last time you had an opportunity to negotiate something? Every time you open your wallet; every time you provide a service – but the challenge is real. It IS HARD – we step over gender boundaries when we ask for ourselves. The goal today is to rethink our market value, find a way that’s comfortable for us to seek it and learn the strategies and tactics to get it.
What do we want to know? We’re going to talk about a couple of venture capitalists at day’s end – John and Denise. On the surface, it appears that these two high-achievers want the same thing. Denise wants equity partnership and John wants to block her promotion. In fact he wants her out of the firm. She knows he is blocking her but she doesn’t know why. When she sits down with him, what does she want to know – what are his true desires, what are his attitudes toward the future, what does he fear, what does he need, how could she help him achieve what he wants to achieve and how could he help her do the same. When we realize negotiation is a means to empower everyone, it gets a lot more interesting.
Talked about interests earlier today. Story about RIGHTS AND REMEDIES vs. INTERESTS – my own divorce.