L’objectif de cette conférence consiste à rendre plus efficace la communication personnelle et professionnelle entre interlocuteurs des deux sexes. Cette conférence, fondée sur 50 ans de recherche scientifique, permettra notamment de reconnaître les signaux non verbaux (expressions faciales, vocales, gestes) propres à chacun des deux sexes et les jugements sociaux qu’ils génèrent dans l’esprit de l’interlocuteur. Nous analyserons ensuite comment notre communication naturelle se déforme lorsque nous sommes en situation de stress et quels types de réactions génèrent ces « mécanismes de défense » chez les deux sexes. De nombreux exemples concrets (vidéos, photos) permettront de rendre l’exposé plus dynamique et faciliteront la reconnaissance de nos propres réactions non verbales. La conférence se conclura par quelques recommandations pour améliorer la communication professionnelle.

1. Hommes-femmes: mode d’emploi de
leur communication professionnelle
Alexandre Destro

2. S

3. Judgement

4. First Thing:
You can’t avoid Judging !

5.  Fast
 Automatic
 Unconscious
 Lasting
Judgment process

6. The judgement is more based on non
verbal communication than on content
Visual messages
(Face + Body) >
Oral messages
(Speech: Content = Text, but also
the pitch)
87% 9,7 times
more used
9%
Non verbal messages
>
Verbal messages (Content)
Visual Cortex activation
100-300 ms
Semantic
1 sentence
(6-30 sec)
6 to 30 times faster

7. Second Thing:
The judging process is widely
consensual

8. Third Thing:
Everyone adds their own defence
mechanisms in relatively stressful
situations

9. Defence mechanisms and
gender differences
1. Facial expressions

10. Happiness
1.Contraction of the muscles
that surround the eye
2.Raised cheeks
3.Contraction of the zygomatic
muscles that open the mouth.

11. Sadness
1.Drooping upper eyelids
2. Out of focus eyes
3.Slight pulling down at the
corners of the lips

12. Anger
1.Eyebrowns down and
together
2.Eyes glaring
3.Narrowing of the lips

13. Fear
1.Eyebrows raised and pulled
together
2.Tensed lower eyelids
3.Lips slightly stretched
horizontally back to ears

14. S
Des méthodes de
mesures
scientifiques
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Janv
2007
Nicolas Sarkozy
Ségolène Royal

15. S© Leadercom
First Thing:
You can’t avoid
Judging !

16. Defence mechanisms:
AGRESSIVITY

17. Defence mechanism:
AGGRESSIVITY

18. WOMAN ‘S
JUDMENT
MAN’S
JUDMENT
Dominant Dominant
Arrogant
Aggressive
Aggressive
Incompetent
Untrustworthy
MAN
AGGRESSIVE
WOMAN
AGGRESSIVE
AGGRESSIVITY
Gender differences

19. Defence mechanisms:
ANXIETY

20. Defence mechanism:
ANXIETY + SUBMISSION

21. Defence mechanism:
ANXIETY + SUBMISSION

22. Defence mechanism:
ANXIETY

23. WOMAN ‘S
RESPONSE
MAN’S
RESPONSE
ANXIETY
Gender differences
Empathy
Reassurance
Problem solving
Empathy or Irony Stress
Aggressvity
MAN’S
ANXIETY
WOMAN’S
ANXIETY

24. Defence mechanism:
CONTEMPT

25. Defence mechanism:
CONTEMPT

26. Defence mechanism:
NEUTRALITY

27. Defence mechanism:
NEUTRALITY

28. Emotions de base: le cas de la
neutralité
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29. Defence mechanism:
DISCORDANCE

30. Defence mechanism:
DISCORDANCE

31. Defence mechanism:
DISCORDANCE

32. Defence mechanism:
DISCORDANCE

33. Defence mechanisms and
gender differences
2. The Voice

34. Defence mechanisms and
gender differences
3. The Gesture

35. Gestures
Defences mechanisms gestures
 Emblems gestures
 Stereotypy gestures
 Lies gestures
Positives gestures
 Illustrate gestures
 Reassurance gestures
 Opening gesture
 Dominance

36. Emblems gestures:

37. Gesture:
The HANDS

38. Positives gestures:
Illustrative gestures

39. Positives gestures:
Illustrative gestures

40. Positives gestures:
Illustrative gestures

41. Positives gestures:
Opening

42. Components of Leadership/Charisma
Behaviours Attributions People’s
Feelings
Attributions
Self-Assurance
Dominance
Self-Confidence
Authority
CREDIBILITY
(Competence)
Empathy Proximity SINCERITY
(Trustworthiness)
Sociability
Joyfulness
Attractiveness
Optimism
POPULARITY
(Love)
Confidence
Respect
Admiration
Confidence
Responsiveness
Confidence
Sympathy
Happiness

43. How to improve one’s leadership?
A few tips…

44. Evaluation Grid:
Social judgment
Aggressive x x x x x Dominant
Anxious x x x x x Self-confident
Distant x x x x x Sociable
Indifferent x x x x x Empathy
Sad x x x x x Jovial

45. Use story-telling to unlock your
non verbal communication:

46. Don’t be afraid to verbalize your
emotions:

47. Replace aggressivity by
authority and dominance

48. Positives gestures:
Dominance

49. Positives gestures:
Dominance

50. Main Components of Charisma
Dynamism (body) and Expressiveness
Expressive gestures (positive feelings + illustrators)
Expressive face (positive emotions)
Expressive voice and vocal tempo
Concordant Nonverbal messages
Face and Gestures
Face and Voice
Voice and Gestures
Face + Voice + Gestures and Body Postures
Concordant Verbal and Nonverbal messages
Optimal speech rate and pauses
Emotional and Factual content (Text, Speech)
Adapt your communication to the contexts

51. Conclusion
 When we want to convince, sell, or reassuring it’s our nonverbal communication that
makes the difference
 We can trust our first impressions because they are often correct
The judging process is widely consensual
 Each of us has specific defence mechanisms that reduce our performance.
Our discordant messages trigger the most negative judgments both for men and
women.
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